Hansel and Gretel
by PfenixB
Summary: Cid/Vincent. In-character, canon -mostly- discussion of Vincent's life, narrated by Cid. Spoilers, as it's canon and goes through the entire story. Probably not going to be finished...and I'm probably going to delete it soon.
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: You _know_ I don't own them.

* * *

Never thought he'd want to tell _me_ his story. Never thought he'd ever tell anybody, really. Turns out all I ever had to do was ask.

* * *

"Are you sure you want to hear this?"

"Yeah. You sure you wanna tell me?"

He thought for a minute, before- "Yes, I'm sure."

"Well then, go ahead."

"On one condition."

"M'kay."

"I want you to stay with me until I'm done. Even if it takes a few days, I want you to hear me out completely and not leave in the middle, no matter how gory it gets."

"I promise, Vince."

"Thank you."

We sat in silence for a while, me wonderin' and him thinkin' how to start. I guess maybe it wasn't my place t'ask this of 'im, but he didn't seem to really mind, so I'm wonderin' if maybe he'd just been waitin' for someone to do it all this time. Well, here's how it came about, right?

* * *

"Hey, can't we go in? It's rainin', Vince."

"I can tell it's raining, but thank you, Cid."

"Well can we go in then? It's cold."

"You're under no obligation to stay with me."

"I know, it's just…"

"Come on, Cid."

"Finally!"

We went into the hotel room Vincent had been stayin' in for the past two weeks. He refused to stay with Tifa, even though she'd offered several times. He said he didn't wanna take up space there, since she didn't really have much space anyway. He did spend lots of time with the kids, though. He's really good with 'em. It's really funny.

"Well, what should we do now, Captain? The TV doesn't work and you won't go back outside to go anywhere else."

"Well first, I wanna change outta these wet clothes. Ya got somethin' I c'n use?"

"If you don't mind black."

"Whatever. I just wanna stop shiverin'. Why aren't you cold?"

"Who says I'm not?"

"…You are so weird sometimes, Vince. D'ya know that?"

"…"

"Oh, thanks," I said as he threw me a lump of something black, which I assumed was pile of clothes. I showered 'n' changed quickly, hopin' the rain wouldn't let up _too _soon.

"Okay. Don't let me leave here without my clothes, yeah? Black looks weird on me."

"I agree. I pull it off much better."

"…Didn't know you had a vain streak."

"I don't." He frowned, that face only he can manage. I'm pretty sure he does it without tryin', too.

"Whatever." I sat on the bed by the wall and he settled back more comfortably on the one by the window, starin' out at the rain.

"S'really comin' down, ain't it?"

"It is. Do you think it will last the day?"

"Prob'ly. Might take the whole night, too."

"You don't sound too disappointed."

"Well, it makes it easier for me."

"Meaning…?"

"Meaning I'm in a better position to make sure ya don't go disappearin' again."

"Cid, I'm not going anywhere."

"How do I know that?"

"Fair enough. Why do you care where I am?"

"I ain't allowed t'care about you?"

"Why would you?"

"Why wouldn't I?"

"This conversation is ridiculous."

"You started it."

"You're acting like Marlene."

"Yeah, well...well…" For some reason I couldn't come up with anything', so I stuck my tongue out at him, which made him raise his eyebrows at me.

"Childish."

"Emo."

"Cid."

"Vince."

"Really now, this is absolutely pointless."

"Well, I'm bored! Talk to me or somethin' if ya don't wanna continue pointless conversation."

"Talk to you? Now you really sound like Marlene. That's was an exact replica of her 'tell me a story' tone."

"So tell me a story then."

He glared, and I rolled my eyes at him. "C'mon, Vince! What do you usually tell Marlene?"

"…Fairy tales."

"What's her favorite?"

"Well, apparently it used to be 'Hansel and Gretel' until she heard my version, and now she likes 'The Frog Prince' because that at least has a happy ending."

"…Vince, 'Hansel and Gretel' has a happy ending."

"Not when I tell it."

"And how do you tell it?"

"Pretty much the same way, except Gretel gets eaten before Hansel can kill the old witch."

"Vince! She's seven!"

"Well, that was how I learned it. I only found out that it's supposed to be happy the morning after I told mine. Tifa was…not very happy with me."

"Well, I guess not! That why Marly kept me up all night screamin' last week?"

"Probably." Vince ducked his head. I couldn't tell if he was embarrassed or if he was tryin' to hide a smile. I guessed he was probably embarrassed. "What were you doing there, anyway?"

"I sorta got drunk off my ass and Tifa wouldn't let me leave."

"I don't remember seeing you there at all."

"Huh. Must not 'a' been lookin' with yer eyes open."

"Guess not."

"So, c'mon Vince. Let's hear a story."

He sighed, finally givin' in to my "childish" behavior. "Which story would you like to hear?"

"Yours."

"'Hansel and Gretel'?"

"No."

"What do you mean, then?"

"Tell me about yerself. Nobody knows much of anything. I bet ya were an int'restin' kid. Will ya tell me _your _story?"

He was quiet for a long time before he said, "Cid, 'Hansel and Gretel' _is_ my story."

* * *

I didn't really get what he was sayin' about it bein' his story, but I'm startin' to, the more I think about it. He's about to start tellin' the story now, an' I don't wanna miss a word. I don't know what I'll learn about 'im, but it'll be more'n I know now, an' it can't make me hate 'im, whatever he thinks. I'll have to find a way to prove that to 'im.

* * *

Well, this is going to be Vincent's story as told by Cid, from his birth to post DoC stuff. It will be in canon during the periods of time covered by the games/movie. So, should I continue? Got anything you'd like to see happen in Vincent's life before the game events pick up on it? I have a few ideas, but I'm gonna have to speed through to the canon parts if I don't get more, and I really don't want to do that :(  
So review, subscribe, drop ideas, whatever. Thanks! -PfenixB

P.S. ...it'll probably be valenwind-y by the time I'm done...


	2. Trail of Breadcrumbs1

And the actual story begins...I won't be able to update for a while unless someone gives me some ideas. I have chapter 4 written, but not 3, because, well, I can't come up with anything to happen to Vincent between the ages of 4 and 10. So...help me out?

Don't own anything at all.

Thanks to **robertmarilyn** for subscribing. Hope this chapter's not a disappointment.

All the chapters are pretty much formatted the same way- A little snippet of Cid and Vincent's conversation, then Cid's summary of what they're discussing. I'm looking at about 21 chapters right now, and I would really love ideas for random incidents so I can make the chapters longer! I don't want to just stretch out descriptions and stuff, and for some reason the whole coming up with stuff is giving me a hard time. So here's the beginning of the trail of breadcrumbs.

* * *

"I guess the beginning is as good a place to start as any. You agree?"

"Absolutely."

"Well, alright then. I was born in Midgar. My father was already working with ShinRa, and my mother was living in the city so she could be as close to him as possible."

* * *

Vincent has his dad's eyes. No one's sure how long the red eyes have been around, but it's from that side of the family, and unique to them, it seems. He was born in October, on the 13th, almost twenty-five years before the year of my birth. It's too weird to think about that, though.

His mom was a "stout, jovial woman", as he put it. She was twenty when he was born; his dad was twenty-two. They were very happy about the pregnancy, even happier when they found out that the child was a boy.

He was the healthiest baby the doctors who delivered him had seen in a while -seven pounds, four ounces, twenty-one inches, and came out kickin' an' screamin'. He went home quickly since there was nothin' wrong, an' the company gave his dad the first couple o' weeks off so he could be with his family.

Of course, he don't remember any o' that. First thing he remembers, he says, is eating grass at two years old an' gettin' yelled at fer it, then cryin' 'cause he didn't know what he did that was so bad. His mom stopped yellin' when she saw that, an' got down on her knees in the grass and hugged him tight. It's one of his most treasured memories.

He remembers seein' his dad fer the first time when he was almos' three. He came home for the first time in 'bout a year, sayin' he only had a few days an' he'd have to get back soon. Vince was scared when he saw him, not used to Grimoire an' not knowin' who he was. The old guy was real hurt, didn't understan' why his son wouldn't come near him. His mom told his dad that he was just shy.

"Well, we can't have that. Vincent must be the social butterfly of the family."

"Fat chance," his mom said. "He won't even talk to the little girl down the street, and she's younger than he is. He won't to the Garrisons' son, who's exactly his age, and he hides from you. He'll never be a social anything."

Vincent can remember that conversation like it happened yesterday. It hurt his feeings, not because he really understood it, but because he knew they were talkin' 'bout him an' they were disappointed. From two-and-three-quarters-year-old Vincent's point of view, Mommy was using the Voice that happened when she was upset but not yelling, and Daddy…well, that strange man in the big cloak _said_ he was his daddy, and they _did_ look alike, Mommy showed him, but…he was still a little scary, and his clothes were silly. Was he playin' dressup? Vincent wanted to play, too. He ran upstairs t'get some of Mommy's clothes an' came back down, wearin' a frilly hat an' a pink dress. He has a picture of it- it's the cutest thing. Never thought I'd say that about a kid. Never thought he'd be the kind to keep pictures around.

Anyhow, for some reason that made Mommy start giggling and Daddy hide his face. Vincent cried 'cause he'd given Daddy a headache when he was only tryin' to keep up with the game, an' Mommy started snappin' the camera, an' Vincent never did like cameras.

He got to know his dad then as much as a kid that young can, an' all too soon it was time for him t'leave. Vincent wanted to go. He remembers chasin' the ShinRa shuttle down the street in his new big boy underwear until he just couldn't run anymore. When he got tired, he crumpled onto the sidewalk an' cried. He was only three-ish, but he'd made it four blocks before gettin' tired. His mom 'bout had a heart attack tryin' to find him. When she did, he was asleep on the grass in front of someone's house, suckin' his thumb an' still cryin'. She carried him home an' put him t'bed, wond'rin' if it might be best if Grimoire didn't visit again. It made Vincent so sad when people left, even if it was someone he didn't like.

Once, well before he turned three and a few weeks before Grimoire's visit, the neighbor's dog attacked Vince. It was a little dog, but it made him bleed pretty good and he wouldn't go outside alone for three whole days (y'know, in my opinion, two-year-olds shouldn't be outside alone anyway). But when his mom told him that the doggy couldn't bother him anymore, that it was gone, he started cryin' again. Seems to me like he was a pretty emotional kid. Must be why he's so stoic now.

When she asked why he was cryin' he said, "How come? 'S'mean to go away."

Hm. He was more talkative as a kid, too. Whaddaya know.

Then he cried again when Grimoire left, an' again when the neighbors from across the street moved away. He'd never once spoken to those neighbors, but he knew they were gone an' it made 'im sad. His mom figured maybe the fact that things were changin' scared 'im, and that was why he cried. It made sense to her; she wasn't much for change either.

Well, time passed slowly then, as it always does in times of peace. Later they'd look back an' wonder where it all went, but at the time they wondered why somethin' didn't happen. They still had a couple o' years to wait.

This was the way it was when Vincent was growin' up. He learned to read at three, and started school early. He skipped right over the daycare part, since he was more advanced than kids his age. His mom started workin' again the year he turned four, an' that made 'im cry, 'cause she sometimes wouldn't be there when he got home. Most days, really. There was a babysitter, and he was nice, but he wasn't Mommy. The babysitter would take 'im out to get ice cream on Fridays, and tell him stories, but not the same ones Victoria told him. When Vincent tried to recite some of the stories his mommy had told 'im, the babysitter would get all freaked out and change the subject. It made Vincent sad to think that maybe his babysitter didn't have a mommy who told him stories. Sensitive kid, huh?

He's got a pretty good memory, too, to be able to drag up all those little details from over fifty years ago. It's still hard to think of 'im as going on sixty-one, but whatever.

The rain's pickin' up now, an' I can barely hear what he's sayin'.

* * *

"Hey, can't hear ya anymore, Vince. C'n ya speak up?"

He's pattin' a spot next to him on the bed instead o' speakin' up, so I guess he wants me to go sit by 'im. Well, it ain't like I have a problem with gettin' closer.

He's lettin' me sit awfully close. I wonder if maybe I should back off a little.

"Is that better?"

"Yeah, lots better. Go on."

"Are you sure?"

"I promised, didn't I? Plus, I wanna know this stuff, I toldja.

"Well, alright then."

* * *

The whole writing in present tense is killing me, but I need to learn how to do it. It'd be easier if I wasn't using Cid, I guess, but I really wanted to tell the story this way. Keep in mind that for all his mechanical genius, Cid's sort of simple, so if things don't make sense, it's his fault, not mine.

Gonna ask one more time...ideas? 4-10 year old Vincent is looking pretty bored right now, because I can't come up with anything for him to do...


	3. Trail of Breadcrumbs2

Disclaimer: Don't own anything Square Enix owns, or the Power Rangers. Can't remember who does own them, though...Oh, I probably don't own High-Speed man, either.

The format of this chapter is a bit different and a bit more confusing, but I like it. A lot. And you all know how I agonized over this chapter. I'm updating now because I'm happy with it and I'll let myself change it if I don't post now. So here ya go.

What I mean by 'confusing' is basically there's no discrimination between Cid's narrative and lapses directly into Vincent's memories. So, hidden flashbacks, sort of. But not really. Aw, you'll figure it out.

thanks to **robertmarilyn, Phosphate-Blues, and MadzCheesyfied **for subscribing/reviewing.

* * *

"You're sure you're not too tired for me to continue?"

"I'll let ya know when I am. Keep goin', Vince. I'm listenin'."

"Well, I spent the time between age four and age ten getting to know my father better. I learned during that time that he was not a vampire, however oddly he may have dressed."

* * *

"Mommy! Mommy! I'm High-Speed man! I'm gonna save the world! Look! I can- owww…"

I couldn't imagine Vince ever sayin' that, but he says he did. An' I heard him say it when he said he said it, so…yeah.

All kids go through the hero stage at some point. Vincent's started when he discovered High-Speed man when he was about four, an' ended at five an' a half when he got hit by a car while he was 'high-speed runnin'' 'cross the street.

"Vincent! Are you okay? Vincent? Vinny!? I'm gonna kill you! Get out of your car right now! You hit my baby!"

Yeah, such a good-tempered woman. Sure, Vince.

Well, they took 'im to the ShinRa hospital. He was still unconscious for a while, but once they broke out the needles, well, seems like 'e heard 'em. He woke up screamin', tellin' 'em t'back off b'fore he killed 'em. Then 'e saw 'is arm an' passed out cold.

Grimoire went t'see 'im the day after they brought 'im in. He was apparently tryin' not ta laugh the whole time, an' I guess it was pretty obvious t'Vince.

"Well," he says now, his lips twitchin' in a smile, "that could be because I stretched the truth a little when I told him how it happened."

"Daddy, I was just tryin'a save Fluffy. He ran out in the road an' he was gonna get ranned over, so I jumped in front of him. High-Speed man woulda done that, but he woulda got out the way, too. Guess I ain't gonna save the world after all."

Well, the cat in question, Fluffy, had been sleepin' on the neighbor's porch at the time, and was probably still sleepin' there the entire time Vincent was in the hospital.

"Well, you saved Fluffy, right? And that's what's important. You just might save the world someday, kiddo. You never know. Well, I have to go now, kids. I'll see you when I see you."

That was the last he saw of his dad for almost a year. His arm healed quickly 'cause of some ShinRa bone-healin' crap that was already 'perfected.'

The was sleepin' on the neighbor's porch when they got home, an' the neighbor's two-year-old daughter was playin' in their yard. He'd 'saved' the little girl in the version he told the 'pretty nurse.'

He skipped kindergarten an' ended up in first grade when he was five. Th'other kids thought he was weird. He is, really. Children an' dogs know, they say. Guess they're right.

But kids can be cruel, too. He didn't have an easy time gettin' along with 'em, an' th'age difference was prob'ly the least of it. It was more the fact that he was quiet an' polite, an' the work was easy for him even though he skipped a grade. The teachers loved him, an' the other kids, well, y'know. They teased him fer bein' teacher's pet, an' smarty-pants, an' mama's boy, an' all those other kid-invented insults that cut right to the bone when yer little, but sound like gibberish once y'grow up.

Anyhow, his mom started t'notice he never got invited to parties or brought friends home. She talked to his teacher one day and found out that he wasn't gettin' along with his classmates. She started feelin' guilty fer puttin' 'im ahead a grade, but there wasn't nothin' could be done 'bout it. Still, he was happy, or he said he was. He didn't need friends, he said. He was gonna make it on 'is own.

Hearin' that from such a young boy killed Victoria a little. But she got a call a little later in the year that brightened her up some.

"Wait, what? The coast? Oh, that's excellent! How much…all expenses paid? Honey, that's great…oh, sure, here he is. Vincent, phone!"

"Dad? Hey. Yeah…yeah, I've been good. No, High-Speed man is so not cool any more. I don't wanna be like him. I'm gonna be the green ranger! You know, from the Power Rangers, duh! A vacation? Where? Really! Cool! When do we get to go? Oh…that's far away. Yes, huh! Three weeks is like, forever! It is so! …Fine, here's Mom."

"Hey, honey? You might want to work on perfecting time control over there. He just ran upstairs and started packing."

Three weeks later, Vincent got his first taste of surf an' sun. He was so excited on the way there that he ran up an' down the ferry 'til he fell asleep watchin' the dolphins.

Well, what happens t'every fair-skinned kid who insists he don't need sunscreen happened to Vince. His mom an' dad weren't payin' the best of attention to 'im, since they were enjoyin' some long-awaited time together on the beach. Vince burned to a crisp an' didn't feel it 'til he looked in a mirror.

"MOM! I'm dying!"

"What…oh, honey. I told you, sunscreen every hour. Didn't you even put it on your face?"

"No! I didn't know when it was an hour! You didn't tell me! It's your fault and now I'm gonna die."

He laughs when he tells me this. Really laughs. I feel pain shoot through me an' I curse ShinRa for takin' away the sweet, innocent (if overdramatic) little boy an' turnin' 'im to a cynical, hard-hearted man.

Well, the rest o' the vacation was a waste of coast. Vince refused ta go back outside unless they were goin' somewhere sheltered, and preferably air-conditioned.

They went to ice cream shops an' museums, which interested Vince more'n the beach had anyway. One in particular fascinated 'im- the ShinRa Science Museum. He thinks now that he prob'ly only liked it that much 'cause his dad was in it, an' he got t'go 'backstage' an' see the 'really, really cool stuff' up close.

That was pretty much when he decided he was gonna work for ShinRa one day, too.

That week got him a little closer to the father figure his life'd been missin', but it only lasted a week. He was gone again after that, an' it left Vince more alone than ever, 'cause now he knew what he'd been missin' out on. He couldn't hate his old man though, 'cause he was gonna grow up t'be just like him.

When he was seven, he had an idea.

"Mom? D'you think if I wrote to Dad he'd write back? I mean, I know he's busy-"

"Honey, if you write your father, I can guarantee he'll write you back before you can even entertain a thought that he won't."

"…So that means yeah?"

"It's yes, not 'yeah'. And you _bet_ he'll write back," she said, tappin' the tip o' his nose with a spoon.

"Ow! Moooom…"

"Oh, you know it didn't hurt. Now go write some letters."

Dear Dad:

It's Vincent. Um… Well, mom said you'll write back if I write to you. You will, right?  
How is everything? It's boring at home. I wish you were here. We could go on vacation  
again, but…somewhere cold this time, okay? 'Cause I don't like sunburn. It hurts.  
I was still peeling when we got back. Mom said it was normal, and I'm lucky it wasn't worse.  
So no more beaches, okay? Well…I guess that's it. So…bye, dad.

Vincent Valentine

He mailed the letter off the next day, an' it wasn't another two days before he got a reply. It was just a 'hey, son, good to hear from you' sort of letter, but it was more than Vince expected. Okay, so maybe he was born with a little cynicism. Ain't we all?

They went on writing like that, Vince tellin' Grimoire about how much he hated his school an' wished he could go to another one. Then one day, when he was 'bout eight, he started talkin' about workin' fer ShinRa when he grew up.

His mom died a little more when she heard that. It had, in a sense, taken her husband away already, an' now she was losin' 'er little boy, too. But it wasn't like she was gonna try to stop him.

Needless t'say, Grimoire was overjoyed. His son wanted to be like him, that was enough, but he also had love for the company an' showed genuine understandin' of its goals. He knew what he was talkin' about; this was no "I'm gonna be an astronaut when I grow up, 'cause they have cool helmets." Hey, I had better reasons'n that, too. Fuckin' ShinRa.

Well, it was decided that Vince would be moved to the ShinRa prep academy for the rest of his education. So, he got his wish of goin' t'a different school, an' he got t'be aroun' kids that wanted the same thing he wanted.

Somebody told me once that a community is a group o' people with common interests an' goals. So, Vince became part of a community fer the first time when he was nine.

It wasn't mandatory to know what you wanted to be until the end of the 6th grade. Vince had a few years to sort it out. At first, he thought he wanted to be a scientist, like 'is dad, but he figured out that wasn't fer him.

Then he thought about bein' a soldier fer a few years- it was just soldier then, SOLDIER was quite a few years off still- but he knew he'd never be built fer that. Then he thought about bein' a teacher fer a few months, but decided he didn't want anything more to do with kids than he had to.

So at the end of his last year to decide, he went to the counselor an' talked t'her. He told her all his issues with ever'thing, an' she suggested that he train to be a Turk.

He never thought about doin' anythin' else from that moment on.

* * *

"That's enough for tonight. I'm going to sleep."

""kay. See y'in th'mornin'." I start to get up an' go the other bed, but he grabs my wrist b'fore I can.

"You can…stay."

"What?"

"You can stay right where you are, if you want."

"Ya sure?"

"Stay," he says, lookin' down an' still holdin' my wrist.

"M'kay. 'Night, Vince."

"Goodnight, Cid."

I turn off the lamp an' roll over to face him, an' see the back o' his head. I wanna reach around an' hold 'im, but I don't think he'd appreciate it too much, so I roll back over an' go to sleep.

I fall asleep listenin' t'the rain an' wonderin' why he didn't make me leave.

* * *

Aww...the valenwind begins! Review? Thanks for reading. Much more to come~


	4. Trail of Breadcrumbs3

Can you all say "chapter twice as long as the past few"? I finally made one that's half the ideal length. I know last time I said I wanted 3,ooo words apiece, but now that I've done it, I want them longer.

This one was going to be longer, but I decided to save the next part for the next chapter so you'll all be warned about the semi-smut and will be able to skip it if you want. Next chapter will be short and nothing significant will happen, just for those of you who'd rather not read slightly detailed guy-on-guy stuff.

I'm happy with this chapter, and I hope all of you will be too.

Thanks to **robertmarilyn**, **MadzCheesyfied, Product Of A Sick Society, Solo-Strifer, **and** BMIK. **Oh, and **Phosphate-Blues.** Yes, you're an afterthought today. Sorry.

The sight of this list growing steadily makes me happy!

By the way, no one has called attention to this, but I'm sure it's driving at least one person crazy. The way I have Cid speaking, how sometimes it's "the thing" and sometimes "th'thing"? Well, I do that on purpose. Think about it- do you really pronounce everything the same every time you say it? No. It depends on the emphasis, how you're feeling, the subject of your speech, and tons of other things. So if that's been bugging you, it's explained now.

Once again, no distinction between past and present, except the part before the sub-story resumes (which accounts for most of this chapter, really) and the part that signifies the end of the sub-story for the time being.

There's also not much of a distinction between what's really happening and Cid's daydream, because really, it just melts into what's going on, doesn't it? You don't decide to daydream, it just happens, and when you snap out of it, it's the same thing. I did italicize the text for you, though.

Oh, and actual almost-fluff here!

Disclaimer: Don't own the characters or anything Square Enix, don't own the original fairy tale of H&G.

Warnings: Constant references to chocolate (because I really wanted some while I was working on this), Vincent's first kiss (not from Cid or Lucrecia), and Cid thinking about Vincent in inappropriate ways. If you can't handle this stuff, well, it's only gonna get worse. Plus, there's more cursing than usual, and some of it's not even Cid.

Heh. Sorry that took so long. Enjoy!

* * *

I wake up on my back next to Vince, with his right arm thrown over me and his claw diggin' into my left shoulder. I can't believe he fell asleep with that thing on.

"Hey Vince, you wanna wake up, man?"

*snort*

"Vince!"

"Huh? Cid? What…oh. Um…I'm…sorry."

"Don't apologize. It'd be nice if y'd let me up, though."

"Of course. I'm sorry."

"I said don't apologize. Be right back. Hey, ya know it's almost ten?"

"Hm."

Back to the silent side of 'im, I guess. Oh well.

I get dressed- my clothes have dried since last night -though they do stink a little-so I put them on again and throw Vincent's in the pile of dirty towels. I walk out, an' he's already changed –into more black- but it's jeans this time instead of leather pants, an' a t-shirt instead o' the button-up dress shirt he'd been wearin'.

"I was thinking of joining Cloud and Tifa for breakfast. Will you be coming with me?"

"I guess."

We leave and head for the Seventh Heaven, which is jus' down the street from the hotel. As we walk in, we hear Tifa yell up the stairs.

"Cloud, pancakes! Come on, you know you want 'em!"

"Okay, okay, just stop yelling already," Cloud says, comin' downstairs in 'is pj's, holdin' 'is head and yawnin'. He looks up and sees us. "Oh, hey guys. You here for the pancakes?"

"Guys?What do you…oh, hey Vince, Cid!" She says, turnin' 'round an' seein' us fer the first time. "Are you guys, um, staying together?" Tifa says, holdin' back a giggle, I think.

I look at Vincent, not sure how he wants me to answer. He answers for me. "I ran into him and mentioned that I was coming for breakfast. I asked him if he'd like to join me, and he did. I trust you don't mind?"

Well, it ain't a lie.

"No, it's not a problem. I wasn't expecting either of you, though…that's four more pancakes…you guys better stake out plates and seats before the kids get up. Oh, I bought more chocolate chips, Vince. You should be able to, -what was it?- 'thoroughly enjoy your breakfast experience' without having to pour chocolate syrup all over your plate."

"But I like the syrup," he says, duckin' his head an' smilin' at me so only I can see he's kiddin'. I have to choke back a laugh, 'cause now that I'm lookin' fer it, I can see more'n'more o' who he coulda been if not fer all the crap that's happened. Or, maybe he jus' feels okay showin' it now that he's gettin' some of it off 'is chest. Either way, the world is missin' out.

We sit down 'cross from each other, an' Cloud sits next t'me, rubbin' his eyes an' grumblin'.

"How's the delivery service goin', Spiky?"

"Meh."

"Okay…how's things goin' with Tifa?"

"Pfft."

"I'm right here, you know. And it's no use talking to him right now; he hasn't eaten yet. It's like trying to talk to a brick wall that issues random sounds at set intervals. You were incredibly lucky to have him greet you. He must have still been sleeping at that point."

"Shu'up."

"See?"

"Hm." I think I like the Cloud I'm seein' now. He prob'ly couldn't say 'let's mosey' if he tried, an' he ain't awake enough t'angst about not bein' any good fer anythin'. Though, he's stopped doin' that, anyway. Guess all he needed was another round o' kickin' Sephiroth's ass.

"Here you go, Cloud. You can have the first one."

"Buh."

"Okay…that's a new one. I'm going to choose to believe it means 'thank you, Tifa, for making me breakfast and letting me stay with you for so long. Thank you so much.' Is that what you meant, Cloud?"

"Yeah. That," he says as he chews, and she jus' rolls her eyes and plops a pancake on my plate.

"Eat up, Captain. So, chips or no chips, Vince?" she calls over her shoulder as she walks away.

"Do you really have to ask? Just…bring the syrup, too, when you head this way, if you don't mind."

"So Cid, how's Shera?" Tifa asks from the stove, where she's workin' on a third cake, prob'ly Vincent's.

"Aw, ya know. Wants kids now, but I really only married her 'cause, well, I felt like I had to. I'm just…not inta her, ya know?"

"I know. You know I know."

"Yeah, I know you kn…shit, whatever. Ya know what I…y'get my point."

She's gigglin' as she flips the pancake onto Vincent's plate an' goes back t'the stove.

"Vincent!" Marlene flies t'ward Vince, her arms held out like she's waitin' fer a hug. He bends down a little t'reach her, an' pulls her onto his lap. She's all giggles 'til she sees me, an' she runs around the table t'attack me the same way. Never been much fer kids, but I'm sorta thinkin' that a hug from Marlene right now is sorta like an indirect hug from Vince, an' I'd kill fer one o' those direct, if I had to, but I guess fer now this'll have ta do.  
The fuck am I thinkin', anyway? What'd be the point in killin' somebody for a hug from the man who'd just spent a night spillin' all his secrets to me an' holdin' me in 'is sleep?  
I let Marlene go and she starts gigglin' again as she runs back around the table, this time sittin' on the chair next to Vince 'stead o' on 'is lap.

Guess even the nightmare-makin' stories can't scare 'er 'way from Vince. I know how she feels.

Tifa walks back with a plate full o' perfect pancakes, figurin' that'd be easier, I guess, than bringin' 'em one at a time.  
"Just, um, make sure Cloud gets at least one more, if you want to leave here knowing we're all safe. Oh, and the chocolate chip ones are, of course, Vincent's. Don't, um, don't touch them."

"Vince, how much syrup you plannin' t'put on there, man?"

"As much as I want to," he growls, an' I laugh. He glares for a minute, then goes back t'loadin' his plate down with chocolate goo. How much chocolate can the guy eat? And fer breakfast, especially!

"Okay. I'm sitting down now. Denzel didn't come down in time; he'll have to fend for himself. Again. As for the rest of you…I'm not getting up again until _I'm_ finished eating, so I hope you're satisfied."

"Thanks, Tifa," we say, even Cloud, who's almost coherent by this point.

He doesn't stay around t'chat with us, though. "I'm leaving. See you later."

"Is he always this polite in the mornin'?"

Marlene giggles again and nods her head. Tifa starts ta laugh a little, too, an' Vincent smiles at the table.

We all finish eatin' an' help Tifa clean up. There's jus' one little thing botherin' me. "Vince, yer face is covered with chocolate. Y'might wanna go wash that before ya'leave the buildin'."

"Thank you," he says, an' blushes a little. I wonder if he's blushin' fer the same reason I am? Don't matter, I guess. Shouldn't be thinkin' things like this 'bout 'im. I know I shouldn't. So why is it I can't shake the thought that I'd sure like t'help 'im get the chocolate off his face?

When he finishes cleanin' 'imself up, we head ta the park 'round the corner, an' he waves 'is hand to tell me to sit on the bench. After I sit, he takes a place next t'me, not _too_ close but not hangin' off the edge o' the bench. I'm gonna take that as a compliment.

"So, shall I continue?"

"If ye're ready to."

"I am. Where was I?"

"You were jus' sayin' how you figured out y'wanted to be a Turk, an' that you were startin' in on more spesh'lized education."

"Hm. You really have been listening."

"'Course I have. Y'really think I wouldn't?"

"I was…never mind." He shakes his head. "Alright, I guess I'll start where I left off."

He sighs an' looks up at the sky. "Looks like it'll rain soon. Do you want to stay here or head back?"

I think fer a minute, and what I really think is that I don't give a shit, personally, but I don't tell him that. Instead- "Well, we don't wantcha getting' interrupted by th'rain, do we? Better head on back now so that don't happen."

"Good idea. Let's go."

"Wait, nevermind. Can we sit here a few more minutes? It's nice."

"If you want. Cid?"

"Yeah?"

"When I'm done, will you tell me about yourself as I'm telling you?"

"If y'really want me to. But I can promise that there's nothin' remotely int'restin' 'bout me. 'Specially compared t'you."

"What do you mean by that?"

"Well, fer one, you c'n remember stuff from when you were two. I don't remember nothin' like the stuff you've been tellin' me. Plus, I jus' really don't have an int'restin' story."

"Maybe I'm interested anyway."

"Well, like I said, if ya want, I'll tell ya. Not 'til yer done, though."

"Thank you."

"Vince?"

"_Vince?"_

"_Yes?"_

"_Y'missed a spot."_

"_Oh, did I? Will you get that for me?"_

"_You bet I will."_

_I lean over an' lick the chocolate off his chin, then bring ma tongue aroun' t'his lips. I reach up an' grab his face, makin' 'im stay where I c'n reach. Looks like I don't hafta worry 'bout that, though, 'cause he's kissin' back, an' his lips are soft an' warm an' I c'n still taste the chocolate. I break away t'look at him, make sure it's real._

"_Cid?" he asks. "Why did you stop?"_

"_Oh, Vince," I say, an lean in t'kiss him again. "If y'don't want me stop, I never willm, not ever."_

"_Cid."_

"_Yeah, Vince?"_

"Cid."

"Huh?"

"Are you…alright?"

"Whaddaya mean?" I ask, blushin' 'cause I think maybe I know _'zactly_ what he means."

"Well, you kept saying my name, and it seemed like you had something to say. I guess not, if you didn't realize you were doing it. Are you sure you're okay?"

"'C-course I am. Why wouldn't I be? I can't just keep sayin' th'same thing over'n'over again without somethin' bein' wrong with me?"

"Having dirty thoughts, are we?"

"Wha- why would I- hey, yer laughin'? C'mon, man, that ain't funny! Y'shouldn't…fuck. Whatever. Okay, know what? You win. Fine. Whatever. I don't care."

He stops laughin' fer a second when he sees I'm pissed. "…You really were, weren't you?"

"…I ain't answerin' that."

He starts to kinda chuckle, that slight laugh that's usually just an amused noise, but then it rises to a real laugh, like the one I heard last night when he told me about being a sunburned superhero. Yessir, the world is missin' out, alright. But maybe, if this keeps up, it won't be missin' it fer much longer.

"Come on, you can tell me."

"Wha- whatever. Yer really just weird. I know fer sure now. An' anyway, maybe it ain't you. Maybe it's the damn chocolate y'still have all over yer face…ya did that on purpose. Sadistic bastard."

Then, still laughin' a little, he says, "Let's go back. The rain's starting."

"Ignorin' the question, huh?"

An' ignorin' the fact that I jus' admitted to thinkin' 'bout 'im like that, obviously. I always fuckin' tell on m'self. Hate that so much.

"You didn't ask a question. You only made accusatory statements."

"Same damn thing!"

"No, it isn't, or I would have answered your question. In this case, it doesn't exist, so I can't answer it."

I cross m'arms. I think maybe he wins this round, but only 'cause he's a smart smart-ass. I'll get him.

"Fine, whatever. Let's go."

He's _still _laughin', like a kid. Damn ShinRa.

In th'elevator, he taps his clawed fingers 'gainst the metal support bar. I can't keep my eyes off th'thing. I don't know if it's 'cause it keeps flashin' when he moves it, or 'cause I can still feel where it was diggin' inta ma shoulder las' night.

Back in th'room, he sits first an' waits t'see where I go, I guess. I decide t'hit 'im with 'is own medicine an' sit right next to 'im, on 'is left side.

I can tell he's 'bout t'start talkin', an' I don't wanna distract 'im, but I can't help m'self.

I reach out an' grab the claw lightly, an' start runnin' m'right hand over it while the left starts bendin' th'claw at the fingers, jus' t'see how much he'll fight me. He lets me get away with it fer awhile, an' the whole time I'm doin' it, he's got this amused, half-smile look on 'is face.

He pulls away. I think maybe I made 'im sad or somethin'. He's not lookin' at me; he's lookin' at th'claw.

I watch, confused, as he pulls it off an' hands it to me. I take it an' look fer jus' a second, an' I figure out he thinks I wanna fool with it s'more. I set it on the table an' grab 'is hand the same way I'd grabbed the claw, jus' not movin' m'hands around this time. I pull off the thick glove an' set it next t'the claw.

I take 'is hand again with m'right one, an' lace th'fingers t'gether. He looks at our hands fer a long time, then squeezes m'hand jus' enough fer me t'feel it.

"This okay, Vince?"

He looks away, an' I don't know why. "It's fine."

I start t'let go, thinkin' he's lookin' away 'cause it ain't really somethin' 'e wants, but he ain't willin' t'tell me so.

He squeezes harder. "Don't let go just yet," he half-whispers, half-croaks. Th'only logical explanation I c'n find fer this is perfec'ly illogical, 'cause Vince don't cry. It just don't happen.

Instead o' callin' attention to it, I squeeze back an' get another one in return.

The skin o' the hand I'm holdin' has that feelin' that's almost like the way skin wrinkles after bein' soaked in water fer a long time. I'm guessin' 'e really don't take off the claw very often, much less th'glove. So, I guess it's been soakin' in 'is sweat fer quite a while…but even thinkin' 'bout all that disgustin' shit can't make me wanna let 'im go.

I guess he's calmed down some or somethin', cause he's startin' t'talk again. B'fore 'e gets too far, I haft'ask somethin'.

"You mind if I stay like this?"

"Will you come closer?"

"'bout here?" I ask, scootin' jus' close enough that our shoulders touch.

"That's good, yes. …Thank you," he says, givin' m'hand a good hard squeeze that almost hurts.

"Y'know it ain't a problem."

"Hm." He closes his eyes a minute, then starts where he'd planned to a few times already t'day. "Well, I was eleven when I entered my 'specific formal education'. The fieldwork wouldn't start until I turned fifteen, so I was in a classroom setting until then."

* * *

Vince said that he was two years younger'n most o' the kids in 'is classes. He was moved to a new dorm made specifically for the Turks-ta-be. The age range was usually thirteen t'sixteen, an' then there was Vince, eleven an' helpless, an easy target 'cause he had no friends.

Once y'get t'a certain point, random name-callin' jus' ain't a satisfyin' form o' torture anymore. At that point, y'move on ta physical threats, sometimes even actual violence. An' when yer pickin' on someone jus' f'r the hell of it, it's worse 'cause y'ain't got nothin' t'lose, so y'ain't shy about what y'threaten or do.

Yeah, so I was a bully growin' up. But this ain't about me.

The teasin' was still goin' on, an' Vince still didn't see the point in tryin' t'make friends. The change in schools helped a little; it wasn't the same kids still pickin' on 'im, an' there weren't as many. The problem was that it was like an elite group o' kids whose only goal was t'torture th'others in any way they could. Now, Vince bein' the youngest of all of 'em, the dorm split inta two groups over him- the ones out t'beat him up an' break him down mentally an' run 'im out jus' for the hell of it, an' the ones who wanted ta protect him. Sure, two or three were indifferent t'the whole thing, but they mostly sided with Vince when it came right down to it.

He was oblivious fer a long time, he was so excited about 'bein' ShinRa'. He went about his studies like he always did: top o' his class an' in every advanced course he could fit himself into. As a result o' that, he barely spent any time in the dorm, an' that was the only time the 'big kids' could really mess with 'im. Plus, when he was there, he was in his room an' he had a good roommate. He was thirteen before anythin' really happened.

He'd been reassigned over the summer to a new room. The teachers seemed to know what was goin' on', the teasin' an' all, an' they all liked their good student Vince, so they made sure he was assigned t'one o' the guys who'd stuck up fer 'im before. Problem was, somethin' else stuck up fer Vince, so to speak.

Luckily, the guy really was a good person an' 'e didn't try anythin'. But it got t'be pretty obvious after a while, even t'someone as oblivious t'everythin' as Vince.

That wasn't fer a while, though.

That year, Vince started collectin' articles an' stuff his dad showed up in an' puttin' 'em t'gether in a kind o' scrapbook.

He saved every'thin' related t'the ShinRa Science Museum, too, an' any'thin' Turk-related, includin' th'announcements 'bout the risin' stars. He wasn't old enough t'be on that list yet- it was reserved fer th'ones in the next stage o' trainin'- but he kep' 'em anyway 'cause they meant somethin' to 'im. They meant that he could be somethin' one day.

By th'end o' the year, ever'body knew about the book, an' he made his first couple o' friends when people showed up wantin' t'look at it. He wasn't really too thrilled about the attention, but it sorta made him feel good jus' the same that he'd done somethin' people liked.

Over that summer, he took the bus home and got there ta find not only his mom waitin, but his dad as well. He ran to 'is mom first, a little shy around the man he hadn't seen for almos' eight years. They'd written a lot, though, an' his dad was always sayin' how proud he was o' Vince an' how much the instructors who doubled as scientists were always braggin' on what a good student he was.

Now, though, it was awkward t'say the least. He stepped forward an' held out his hand, but changed his mind when he saw the disappointed look on Grimoire's face. He pulled back 'is hand an' held 'is arms out fer a hug, an' Grimoire complied b'fore Vince could change 'is mind. They stayed like that fer so long that Victoria decided to go on inside an' leave 'em alone.

After what was really only a few minutes, the hug broke an' Vince an' Grimoire started walkin' aroun' the yard.

"So, you'll be fourteen in a few months, right?"

"Yeah." Funny t'think o' Vincent sayin' "yeah". Funnier to hear it.

"Guess you don't have a girlfriend, huh? I was already dating your mother at your age."

Vince felt his face heat up. "No, we don't get to spend much time with the girls."

"Oh, but there is one you like, huh?"

"No, that's not it," he said, still blushin'.

Grimoire remembered the incident with the pink dress. People would say that two was too early to tell, but…

"Son, are you trying to tell me that you're, um-"

"I don't know Dad, okay? Can we just talk about something else?"

"Sure. Good job on that last report. I got a copy of it."

Vince calmed down an' jumped back inta the conversation. "You thought it was good? I practically threw it together overnight. How'd you get it?"

"President Shinra-"

"Whoa, whoa, the _President_ read it?"

"Yes, and he was very impressed. He told me he hopes you'll be equally adept at the application of the theories you're studying."

"The President read my paper. The _President_ _**read**_ my _paper."_

"That's right," Grimoire said, laughin' a little. "And I've never seen him so impressed by a piece of paper in my whole career."

"…Wait. Dad, you _know_ the President?"

"Uh, 'duh', to use your word."

"No, I mean, you really, really know him? Like, you talk to him and everything?"

"Yes, I do. We're actually fairly good friends."

"No way."

"Yes way." Grimoire frowned a little, hopin' he was keepin' up with the slang. I imagine it woulda looked a lot the frown we see on Vince when he's tryin' t'figure why somethin' he said offended somebody.

"That is SO cool."

"…Really?"

"Ch'yeah!"

Grimoire only stayed fer a few more days. Said he had t'get back t'meet his new assistant. She was real young, jus' a kid really, but s'posedly brilliant. She was still technic'ly a student, but she had so much potential, and the ideas to put it t'use, that they wanted her in the field right away.

"What's her name, Dad? Do you know?"

"Something about the moon…Luna? No, that's not it. Uh…moon…crescent….that's it! Lucrecia. Lucrecia Crescent. She's really only about two or three years older than you, really. Maybe I'll bring her by to visit sometime."

"Yeah, that'd be cool, I guess."

I really wish I coulda known Vince as a teenager. Bet 'e was really somethin'.

Well, Vince spent the rest o' the summer studyin' fer the next school year. He thought once or twice about writing to Calais, his roommate from the year before, but somethin' 'bout th'other boy made Vince a little uncomfortable, so 'e decided not to. Besides, he'd only ever written to 'is dad, an' he kinda wanted ta keep it that way.

Anyhow, the rest o' the summer was borin' an' uneventful an' "not worthy of this discussion."

Goin' back t'school was the only thing on Vincent's mind from the day Grmioire left. He'd had ta wait two an' a half months fer it, but it finally came.

The first day back, he found out he was roomin' with Calais again, since they'd gotten along so well. Vince was overjoyed, even though he thought somethin' was a little off. It didn't matter much to Vince, whatever it was; they were friends, an' he wasn't gonna let that go so easy, since it hadn't come easy.

He was a little sad that that year'd be Calais' last one in the same area. At the end o' the year, he'd be shipped off to some nowhere place (so the rumors said) an' dependin' on whether or not he was good enough, he'd become a Turk at th'end o' three more years' trainin'.

"Hey, Vincent! Come on, we have the same room as last year, too! Let's go put our stuff up, 'k?"

"Sure. Race you."

"No fair, you're way faster!"

"That's the point!" Vince yelled from the top o' the stairs at his friend, who was just standin' there an' shakin' 'is head.

The first few weeks ever'thin' was fine. It was jus' around Vincent's fourteenth birthday that shit started ta pile up.

See, with all the older guys havin' left, an' Vince havin' grown up some, he wasn't in so much need o' constant defense. Most o' the bullies were gone, too, an' that was a plus. But one or two were still haingin' around.

Calais got a bunch o' people he looked to as friends, or that he knew Vince got along with, t'gether in th'den area t'celebrate 'is birthday.

"Happy birthday, Vincent!"

"Uh, thanks, guys. You didn't have to, you know, do anything. I…no, don't give me gifts. I don't…oh, fine. Thanks."

He started openin' the presents an' thankin' the c'ntributor one by one. After presents, there was cake. Vincent's favorite- chocolate with chocolate icing.

"How'd you know?"

Calais scratched the back o' 'is head an' smiled sheepishly. "It's not exactly a secret that you're, like, a chocolate fiend."

"Oh…is it that obvious? Hm. Well, thanks."

After the party, Vince and Calais headed back up to their room.

"Hey, Vincent?"

"Yeah?"

"I kinda had somethin' else I wanted to give you."

"What?"

"Well…can I kiss you?"

Vince never had time to think about stuff like that. He was so naïve that he was sure "Cal" jus' wanted t'kiss 'im on the cheek, like 'is mom used to. He found it a little weird, but he was kinda curious.

"I guess."

"You sure?"

"Sure."

"Well, okay…c'mere."

Vince got closer t'where Calais was sittin' on 'is bed, and his roommate grabbed him –a little roughly- an' pulled Vince onto 'is lap. B'fore he could do anythin', Cal's mouth was on his, his lips movin'. Vince…liked it, but he didn't want anymore. It made him feel dirty.

He pulled away an' stared at Calais, confused an' a little aroused. "What was that about?"

"You said I could."

"I know, but I thought you meant…I didn't know you meant…I'm going to bed. Thanks for the party and the present. Presents. 'Night."

"Hey, Vince, why…oh, shit. That _was_ your first kiss, huh? The guys said it would be, but I figured you must have a girl at home, or something…shit, I'm sorry."

"Don't apologize. It had to be someone, correct? I'd rather it was someone that I care about. I don't know if you knew I did, but…whatever. I'm going to bed."

* * *

"I wish," the present-day Vince says, "that I could have somehow saved that first kiss, and several other firsts, for someone else. I regret so many things, and somehow, even with all I've destroyed, the personal regrets are some of the highest ranked. I suppose that makes me selfish."

I tell 'im it don't mean he's selfish, jus' that he's human, but he don't listen ta me.

"We should take a break now, I think."

"Why?"

"For one thing, it's time for lunch. For another, I need you to think carefully about whether or not you want to hear it."

"Well, it's part o' the story, ain't it?"

"It could easily be omitted without making much difference."

"Y'wouldn't even've brought it up if ya didn't wanna talk about it. What's so importantly unimportant 'bout this, anyway?"

"Lunch."

"But-"

"I'm hungry. We're eating."

"Ohh-kaaay."

"That's right. Where should we go?"

"Yer the one who's hungry. You tell me. The hospital?"

"Cid, I am NOT a vampire."

"An' I s'pose y'ain't grouchy when yer hungry, either."

"Oh, I'll admit to that."

"Do it then."

"I just did."

"Nuh-uh."

He glares at me. I ain't scared o' that glare no more, 'cause I know it don't mean shit when it's directed at me. "Let's just go. Give me my claw."

"'Kay. Let's go fer lunch. Whaddaya say 'bout pizza?"

"No."

"…I guess fast food's out too, huh?"

"That's right. I know a place. If it's the bill you're worried about-"

"Naw, it ain't that. An' don't offer ta pay. I'm payin', if anythin'."

* * *

...something in my head just snapped, and the soundtrack to Les Miserables (I mourn the lack of accent mark keys on my computer) is now playing in my head. Is that relevant to this story? No, it is not. It is, however, the best musical ever, in my opinion.

Anyhow...thanks for reading, and all that jazz. More is on the way, but this chapter's my personal favorite for a while.

-PfenixB P.S. I'm thinking of changing my pen name. Yup, I think I will.


	5. Trail of Breadcrumbs4

Warnings: Okay, so quite a bit of semi-angst here. And I know I said there'd be semi-smut, but there isn't, really. It's just dialogue that, um, conveys rather clearly what's going on. And- *gasp*- a disruption in the valenwind development? How evil of me...

Oh, by the way, I'm not trying to make Vincent seem like a slut. He isn't, not at all. It's a trust thing. And I do have my reasons for him giving it up as young as he did. You'll see, my pretties. All in good time.

Don't own any characters except Calais, and I honestly have no use for him. Poor guy, created just to be forgotten. I also don't own the semi-quote from The Wizard of Oz I used a second ago.

Apparently I _also_ don't own the ability to do anything that isn't semi-something.

Thanks to **ShadowChild Of Death, The Double-Faced Muse, BMIK, Chibi Koun, MadzCheesyfied, Product Of A Sick Society, Solo-Strifer, Phosphate-Blues**, and **robertmarilyn. **Ack! That almost extends to a second line! Thanks again to all of you, and the readers who just read!

Alas, I have lost a reviewer for a while :( Phosphate-Blues won't be able to read this for a few weeks, and you know what that means- the rest of you have to pick up her slack!

* * *

"So where we goin'?"

"A small place. I know the owner."

"Okay. What kind o' place? Other'n small, I mean."

"It's a very personal type of restaurant, everything cooked exactly the way you like it, never made until you order."

"Well, that's a bit different. How d'ya know the owner?"

He sighs. "You'll see. Wait, maybe we shouldn't…hm. We should go somewhere else today, actually."

"What? Why?"

"It doesn't matter. Let's just go to the sub shop on the corner. I could go for a sandwich."

"Hey, Vince, wanna do somethin' today? After lunch, I mean? We could, say, go to a movie, or maybe head fer the Gold Saucer. Sound like fun?"

"No thank you."

"Hey…once yer done, yer jus' gonna go off somewhere, aintcha? Yer gonna regret tellin' me all this, an' yer gonna be embarrassed or somethin' an' yer jus' gonna go off back to the creepy mansion-"

"I will not go back there. It was enough that I had to go back this past year, but…never again. I'm not…going to regret telling you. I made sure of that before I started. If anyone leaves, it will be you, inspired to leave by your disgust of me."

"Y'could never disgust me."

"We'll see," he says, an' looks down at 'is feet.

"Yeah, you will see."

He looks back at me; his eyes lock with mine. He stops walkin' an' shakes his head, closes 'is eyes. "You don't know how much I need that to be true."

If we weren't in public, I think I'd prob'ly pull 'im into a bear hug. "Well, it will be. Let's hurry up an' eat so I c'n prove it."

"Hm," he says, an' even in that one syllable I can hear 'is voice shakin'. When we get back to th'hotel, or somewhere private, he's gettin' that bear hug.

We grab subs an' eat fast, like I wanted. I think he's as eager t'get on with this as I am, jus' fer differen' reasons. He needs to tell somebody, whatever it is. I need ta prove to 'im that there's nothin' he could ever do that would make him less than what he is t'me. But that might not mean much to 'im right now anyway, 'cause I've never got the courage up t'tell 'im he means damn near everythin' ta me.

Fuck, when he was gone…but I don' wanna think 'bout that now.

"Vince, ya sure ya don't wanna hang out fer a while?"

"Not today. I think perhaps you should reserve yourself a room for tonight, as well."

"Gonna need space?"

"I might. I'll pay for it-"

"No, ya won't. It don't matter if I end up not usin' it or whatever. If ya want me stay, I'll stay. If ya need me to go, I'll have a place ta go." I say this softly, so as to let 'im know I mean it completely.

I'm dyin'- I wanna tell 'im what I need 'im t'know, but I don't think he could take hearin' it t'day. An' I don't know how he feels. Shit, no one ever does, not completely. I get 'im more'n the rest o' the world, though.

He don't say anythin', so I guess he decided t'let me have ma way.

"C'mon, baby. Let's go back." I grab 'is arm, choosin' t'ignore the fact that I just accidentally called him 'baby'. Done it tons o' times in my mind, in my dreams, but never out loud. He doesn't say anything 'bout it, so the blush goes away quick enough.

But I still wanna pull 'im inta that hug, an' now I wanna whisper over'n'over in 'is ear while I hold 'im- _babybabymybaby_

But I gotta c'ntrol m'self, 'cause he doesn't need me to get all sappy an' shit t'day. But I do. I need ta hold 'im. I need ta let him know what he means, 'cause I can tell he feels worthless t'day, by the way he's movin', the way he ain't sayin' much anymore. But I know 'im well enough t'know that tryin' ta tell 'im otherwise right now'll only make it worse. An' it's all about what he needs, not what I need.

I'm still holdin' 'is arm -well, now I have 'im by the hand- when we get back ta the hotel. I lead 'im ta the front desk first an' reserve that extra room. I lead 'im up to the room he'd been stayin' in an' step back.

"There was really no need to lead me here. I could have done it myself." He smiles as he says it, an' it reaches 'is eyes like a real smile would, an' it _is_ a real smile, but I can tell what he feels under that. I'm sure of it. Ain't like I want him t'feel that way, it's just that I can read him well enough by now to know how good he is at hidin' pain. He'd have to be good t'have made it this far.

"I don't fuckin' care. I didn't feel like lettin' go. Got a problem with that?"

He shakes his head from his seat on the bed. I'm still standin' by the door.

"Come sit down."

"Don't wanna."

"Please."

Fuck. Can't say no ta that. "Fine."

I sit close to 'im again, but on 'is right side this time.

"Have you decided whether or not you'd like to hear the next bit?"

"I dunno. Ya didn't exactly tell me-"

"I think you know."

"Yer, uh, first time?"

"Yes, and not in the most, shall we say, _conventional_ way," he says, an' looks away.

"I wanna hear whatever ya need ta talk about."

"That isn't what I asked-"

"Yes, it is. I know how it feels ta need ta say somethin', and to need someone ta not jus' listen, but really care what yer sayin'. I understand. An' I want ya know that whatever it is ya need ta say, I'm here ta listen. Really listen."

"So you'll listen, but do you really want to hear?"

I think about it for a second, an' decide it's best t'be honest. "I can't honestly say that I wanna hear about ya doin', ya know, with whoever it was."

"Whomever, Cid."

"_What_ever, Vince."

"Is my body so hideous that the thought of me being intimate repulses you?"

So _this_ iswhat he's been broodin' about. "That ain't it." That definitely ain't it.

"Are you worried, then, that I might have," he coughs an' blushes, "_preferences_ that you find disgusting?"

"I don't think there's much chance o' that."

"Then what- Cid, is this…personal?"

It's personal, alright. Very fucking personal. But how do I say that? I don't. Not now.

"S'nothin', Vince. Jus' go ahead, alright?"

"Very well," he says, but he's a little confused. I'm glad, 'cause it means I haven't hurt 'im, an' that he's considerin' the fact that I might feel somethin' for him. "It was probably a few weeks before the end of the school year- yes, in fact, it was April, I remember because it was a little more than six months after my fourteenth birthday."

* * *

Things between Cal and Vince had gotten ta be awkward, but not so much that they quit bein' friends. It was more like little changes, fer instance what used t'just be layin' on one o' their beds t'gether an' readin' or studyin' or watchin' TV turned inta Cal sometimes touchin' Vince a little more than he was comfortable with- keepin' a hand on 'is shoulder fer a long time, or strokin' down 'is back. He never tried anythin' real forward, an' he never tried t'kiss 'im again, but Vince still didn't feel quite comfortable with the way things were goin', not that he was gonna say anythin'.

Then one day, he got inta his first fight. One o' the guys who took on the challenge o' Turk trainin' (but was failin') was tauntin' 'im, apparently in response ta Vince sayin' he wouldn't help the guy cheat.

"Teacher's pet. What is it ya do for 'em that makes 'em like you so much, huh? Bet you let 'em do whatever they want, dontcha? Yeah, bet that's what you've always done. Bet you ain't as smart as ya say you are, an' that's why you won't take the test for me. Bet you haven't earned a thing in yer whole life. Bet they-"

"Shut up."

"Ooh, struck a nerve, have I? Fine, come on. Show me whatcha got. Make me shut up."

Vince was faster than th'other guy, an' smart, so it only took one well-aimed punch t'send the kid fallin' to the ground.

"What's going on- Vincent? Why are you shaking? Did you- oh my goodness. You all. You never saw anything, you understand? None of this happened."

"That's not right, Ms. Cambridge. I shouldn't have let him provoke me. It wasn't right. You shouldn't just let it go."

"But Vincent, you've got a perfect record-"

"Yeah, well, I guess I screwed it up, didn't I? That's just too bad, isn't it?"

He stomped upstairs to 'is room an' went straight t'sleep.

The next day, after classes, he walked inta his room and saw-

"My scrapbook. Cal, wh-who…?"

"I don't know, Vince. I'm so sorry. I just got in a minute ago and found it like this."

The pages seemed to have been shredded, an' some even burnt, an' they were scattered 'roun' the room.

"There's…a note. I don't know what it means, though. You…didn't hit anyone, did you?"

"…Fuck."

"Vince!"

Under different circumstances, I woulda laughed my ass off hearin' Vince say "fuck", but he was too serious fer me t'even think about laughin'.

The note read: "Thought you could get away with it, didn't you? Hit me again and see what happens. You like this? You'll love what happens next time."

"Vince, you should tell someone-"

"No, I can't, don't you see? She made everyone else pretend it never happened, and I told her not to do that, to let me get in trouble, but she wouldn't, and now if I bring it up, she's in trouble and so is everyone else who saw. I can't do anything, I can't…and I can't get these back. Cal, what am I…all my dad's letters were in there. All of them. And the articles, and…"

"I'm so sorry, Vince."

The taller boy with the grey eyes moved closer t'the dark-haired boy who was obviously tryin' real hard to block out his emotions, like Turks are taught to do.

"C'mere, it'll all be okay."

"No it won't." Vince sobbed into 'is friend's shoulder. "It won't be okay. I can't…I'll never be a Turk. I can't be, if I'm going on like this over some stupid pieces of paper."

"Vince, you're fourteen…shit, you're _only_ fourteen. You can't expect yourself to be…you're still figuring out what it feels like to…well, to feel."

He licked his lips a little before continuin'. "Let me show you what else you can feel, before we both have to give up feeling."

"Wh-what do you- Cal, what're you…mm, stop. No…Cal?"

"Shh, it's alright." He was kissin' Vince's tears, an' movin' on to 'is neck, where he bit down jus' a little bit, makin' Vince gasp, an' makin' 'im change course an head fer the mouth whose first kiss he had been, an' he kissed 'im again, more confidently but more gently than he had on Vince's birthday.

After that kiss, he pulled away but didn't let go o' Vince's shoulders. "Was that good?"

Vince nodded slowly, still feelin' the dirty feelin' he'd felt before, but this time he wasn't caught so much off guard.

"Want more?"

"I…guess. Yeah. Yeah, I do."

In short, they went from that ta Cal pinnin' Vince ta the bed in about ten minutes.

"Oh shit. I can't take this, Vince, I…will you…let me?"

"Let…you?"

Though a little less naïve by now, Vince was still quite different from the other boys; he spent all his free time studyin' an' hadn't ever considered actually "doin' it", especially with another guy, an' he certainly wasn't gonna understand what Cal wanted unless it was spelled out fer 'im. An' with 'is head spinnin' like it was, it wasn't makin' it easy t'even understand what had happened.

"You know, um, t-take you."

"Take me…where?" He shot a confused look at his roommate, who made a crude gesture meant t'show Vince what 'e wanted. "Oh! You mean…but, why…why me?"

"You're fucking beautiful and I've wanted you for so long. Vince, I…I leave this year, you know? I'll be gone, and you might never get to see me again. I've waited for so long. Will you please let me have you, just this once?"

Well, needless ta say, if the hormones wouldn't've led Vince t'say yes anyway, the guilt factor certainly worked, like it does with all young people.

Cal was, y'know, _with_ 'im that night, when he took what Vince says now he wishes he would've saved fer someone else.

"Cal, what're you…oh! Oh, it hurts! Make it stop!"

"Ssh, I know. Oh, I want you so bad. I can't wait much longer…"

"…hurts."

"I know. It'll stop. I promise it'll stop. I'll make it good, Vince. Just hang on for me."

* * *

"It never did get 'good'," Vince says. "I can't say I ever really told him to stop, and I was more than willing, even if for the wrong reasons, but by the end it was only about him getting what he wanted and leaving me completely alone afterwards. He didn't even stay with me through the night, just went to his bed and left me sore and crying and confused."

Fuck, and I thought I'd die if I heard it was good. I wanna fuckin' kill this guy fer hurtin' Vince. I'm shakin' so hard tryin' not ta yell that I know he can feel it.

"Cid?"

I let out the breath I'd been holdin' since, well, prob'ly since I'd figured out what was 'bout t'happen, if it's possible t'hold a breath that long.

"Tell ya what, Vince. I'm gonna go out fer a smoke, m'kay? An' then I'll be right back, so don't go nowhere."

He just nods while he's still facin' away from me, an' I get up an' step just outside.

Soon as I light up, I feel a little bad fer leavin' 'im in there alone I start ta put it out an' go back in, but I realize maybe he needs a minute, too. Guess I don't know what I want any more than I know what he wants.

What happens is somethin' I never thought about.

I'm leanin' over the railin' on m'elbows when he comes out.

"I'm sorry I asked you to listen to that." He's standin' next ta me- surprisin', 'cause he can't stand it when I smoke.

"Yeah, well, ya didn't make me do nothin'."

He puts a hand on my shoulder- it's his left, but no claw. "What is it that's got you so upset?"

Takes me a second t'figure out why he thinks it even needs clar'fication, but then I realize he can tell…somethin'.

"I guess…it hurts me knowin' he hurt you."

"As much as I appreciate that, this isn't about you."

Fer a second I'm shocked, I think he's bein' selfish, but then I remember he's right, this ain't about me. I'm s'posed ta be listenin', lettin' him tell it all without judgin' 'im on any of it, an' here I am doin' just that by condemnin' the one person who was his friend when no one else would be. An' ain't that what I was thinkin' earlier? That I was forgettin' it was about him, an' not me?

"I've forgiven him. I still consider him a friend, though he is now considerably wiser and, strange as it is, the age difference between us now is much greater. Can't you forgive him as well?"

"Guess I can," I say, but I'm still shakin'.

I'd have been gentler. I wouldn't have left him t'cry an' wonder just what the hell had happened on his own. I wouldn't have left him to hurt alone. Fuck, I wouldn't've asked a fourteen-year-old boy ta give that to me! 'Specially one who wasn't thinkin' clearly.

"I know," he says, an' steps closer. "I know you wouldn't have. There's no need to apologize to me for what I did almost forty-five years ago."

Forty-shit. I keep forgettin' how old he is. "Said all that out loud, did I?" I look around at him without takin' m'elbows off the railin'.

He nods an' looks down inta the parkin' lot.

"There's Reeve."

"Prob'ly lookin' fer you. Does 'e have ta show up now?"

"Hm. I'll go meet him in the lobby."

He goes back in fer the claw b'fore he walks off, an' I realize that I know exactly who it is he wishes he'd saved all his firsts for, an' it ain't me. It was never me.

An' that makes me wanna throw m'self off this balcony.

* * *

And there ya go. Chapter, uh, 4, technically. The first one was just an intro. I'm so proud of myself for not posting this last Saturday. I had it done, you know. I used self-discipline :)  
And this is only a semi-cliffhanger. It's not in the middle of action. It's not even really a cliffhanger. But you know what? Chapter after next, I'm leaving off mid-sentence. Ha.  
Thanks again,  
PfenixB- oh, you can see I decided to be too lazy as of yet to change the pen name. If I do, though, it'll be CatharticBreakdown, so if you can't find me under PfenixB, look there.


	6. Brief Interlude

Different chapter here, and the next one will be, too. They focus on the relationship in the present rather than the Vincent's past. But I promise I'll get back on track. Soon. I know I said no update 'til Saturday, but I think you'd prefer to get the chapter after this for Valentine's Day.

Thanks to **ShadowChild Of Death, The Double-Faced Muse, BMIK, Chibi Koun, MadzCheesyfied, Product Of A Sick Society, Solo-Strifer, Phosphate-Blues**, **robertmarilyn, BlackCoat, **and **darkbloodymoon.**

* * *

I think a lot as I stand there. 'Bout how it ain't fair, how nothin's fair.

But I can't make m'self wanna leave. I'm hooked on 'im. Hooked bad. An' I hate it, but I can't do a thing about it.

Seems like I'm waitin' forever when I'm standin' there, but by the time 'e gets back, I realize I ain't had near enough time.

"This might interest you," he says, holdin' up an envelope.

"Doubt it," I say, an' put out the fourth, or maybe fifth, cigarette I've lit an' forgotten t'smoke.

He stands there fer a second, then shakes his head like he don't even care what I'm talkin' about. He prob'ly don't care, now that I think about it.

"Hm."

"Why is it you can say 'hm' all ya want an' we all know whatcha mean, but when I do it it just comes out soundin' stupid?"

"You don't have my powers of expression."

I blink. I wasn't actually expectin' an answer.

"Are you hungry?"

"Nah, not really. Think I'm gonna go hit somebody up fer drinks, though. You c'n eat without me if ya want."

"Fine."

He goes back in 'is room, an' I go to _Johnny's Heaven._

Pers'nally, I think that's a fruity name. Def'nitely sounds like a gay bar. But whatever. S'really more of a diner now than a bar anyway, but it don't matter. There's alcohol, an' nobody I know is gonna show up there.

"Oh, it's you."

"Yeah, it's me. An' yer you." What the fuck is up with this guy? How does he even know me?

"So what, Tifa go outta business?" He says that like he hopes it's true, butcha can tell he'd be real sorry if she ran inta trouble.

"Nah, jus' don't feel like bein' there t'day."

"I getcha."

"I can smoke here, right?"

"All you want."

"Nice change. I might be comin' back."

"Tifa's got a no-smoking policy and she stays in business?"

"Nah, it's just a no-smokin'-fer-Cid policy."

"Sorry t'hear that."

"Meh."

I light my umpteenth cig of the day, hopin' I actually get ta smoke this one b'fore it burns out. "Y'know what?"

"What's that, buddy?"

"We're in th'same boat, you an' me."

"What boat might that be?"

"Well, you'd still want Tifa if she'd have you, yeah?"

"You bet."

"An' y'ain't got a chance, yeah?"

"That's mighty harsh."

"It's the truth."

"She's still after the blond? Cloud?"

"Nah, she's figured out she ain't gettin' nowhere wi'him. She's got 'er eye on someone, er, a bit different."

"Who's that?"

"Well, y'know that loudmouth Turk?"

"Yeah…"

"An' y'know his partner? The big bald guy?"

"Yeah…"

"Well, she went out with him th'other day. Said he treated 'er real nice an' they're goin' out again next chance he gets."

"…Bald?"

"I know, right? Not ta mention ever'thin' else Cloud ain't. They're both quiet, an' that's it."

"How exactly does this put us in the same boat?"

"Ah? Oh. Well, see there's this guy- say, does that bug you?" He looks at me, confused.  
"That my version o' Tifa's a guy, I mean. That bother you any?"

"'Ey, I don't care. Ya think I could run a decent business if stuff like that turned me off?"

"Women are overrated. Y'know? So anyway, this guy, right?"

"Right."

"I really like him, see, an' he's been actin' like he's 'bout t'confess his undyin' love or somethin' to me. Turns out it ain't me he's wantin' t'confess ta. I ain't worth nothin' to 'im. Nothin'a tall."

"'ey, that's rough."

"Rough is an understatement, my friend. I'm fuckin' miserable."

Some guy sittin' the bar a couple seats down snorts.

"Buddy, ya see the hair on that fella who just sat down over there?"

Long and dark like Vince's. Wonder why I didn't notice b'fore. How long's he been there?

"Oh, I been listenin' t'you so intently I forgot about him, 'til he started laughin' at you. Hold on a sec'. Lemme go see if he wants anything." Guess he didn't really care if I answered.

"Cert'nly. Don't let my blabbin' stop up yer business."

Keepin' m'self from thinkin' 'bout Vince is impossible. I know Johnny prob'ly don't give a shit what I'm sayin' but I gotta get it out, I guess, an' I'm payin', so he don't get t'complain. Anyhow, I wasn't _plannin'_ t'complain to nobody. I was jus' gonna come here an' drink. I know I said I was gonna stay with him, an' I'll go back. I jus' gotta quit thinkin' fer a while. Ain't even had nothin' t'drink yet. Jus' been talkin' at the poor barkeep. But I bought a drink. That's what counts. …yeah, yeah. I know. Don't count fer nothin'. Jus' makes me feel better t'say it. Shit, I ain't even makin' sense ta maself.

I see him walkin' back over to me with a weirded-out look on 'is face.

"Hey, y'ever seen anybody with eyes like that?"

My heart skips a beat. I feel like a fuckin' schoolgirl fer thinkin' about it like that, but that's what it does. "Eyes like what?"

"Red. Like blood."

"…shit."

"What?"

"I gotta get outta here, man."

"And where exactly do ya plan to go?"

"Somewhere."

"Excellent plan, Chief. Your intelligence astounds me."

"G'way."

I don't look at him after I say it. Mostly 'cause I know I ain't bein' fair to 'im. Chances are he don't know how I feel, an' he wouldn't get why I was mad if I did. Plus, I know he's hurt, even though he'd never let on. I'd see it in his eyes.

He's so fuckin' patient, though. Makes it worse that I know I'll never…that he don't…I'm tryin' real hard t'hate 'im.

"It's time to go back. You haven't eaten."

"When'd ya get here an' how'd ya know where I was?"

"Does it matter?"

"Yeah, it does."

"I don't think it does."

An' that means I lose. He ain't tellin'. Always. He _always _fucking wins.

"Well then, why dontcha jus' go on back an' let me alone, huh? Pretend ya never heard nothin', an' all."

"I don't think I can do that."

"An' why's that?"

"You've just made something I've tried to ignore for years exceedingly obvious."

"Yeah? An' what might that be?"

He takes a deep breath an' looks dead at me. "Cid Highwind, you are an idiot.

* * *

Leave it to Vince to be blunt. You'll like the next one! I hope...Anyone catch the 'hidden' message? No? Sad...


	7. Brief Interlude2

Happy Valentine's day...and here's your Phoenix-brand Valenwind fluff! I hate this holiday. But I give you love on it anyway! And then you hate me at the end of the chapter...

Thanks to **Chibi Koun, BMIK, ShadowChild Of Death, darkbloodymoon, BlackCoat, Solo-Strifer, robertmarilyn, Phosphate-Blues, The Double-Faced Muse, Product Of A Sick Society,** and **MadzCheesyfied**. I did that almost entirely from memory.

To read the fluff part without the Cid narrative and in a sort of different situation, I'm also posting it(revised, obviously) in my All it Takes collection. Still taking requests there...

* * *

"Damn, Vince, it's one thing ta not return feelin's, but ya don't have t'insult me."

"You really are an idiot."

"Wouldja stop that? I feel bad enough as it is."

"We're going back."

"_I'm_ goin' home."

"You rented a room."

"People rent rooms all th'time an' don't use 'em."

"Touché. I suppose you won't object to me coming back with you, then."

"I…" Guess he ain't as oblivious as I thought. He obviously knows I can't tell him no. "I guess I don't care."

"Good. I've already packed."

"Why?"

"I could tell you were going to do this when you left the balcony."

"Creep."

I don't mean it. He knows it, too. Oh, well.

"I'll call the boys t'come get us." Just remembered somethin'. Shera ain't home. Went off to the coast or some caves or somethin' with a friend.

"Fine. The WRO landing pad?"

"Guess so." Don't wanna use the ShinRa one. They got a bigger base out here now. Mr. Prissy President's there, more often than not. Don't like him too much.

"You'll be able to see Reeve, then. He did want to say hello."

"Ain't sayin' nothin' to 'im."

"Idiot," he says, an' walks off ta go get his stuff. I just head t'the base an' hope Reeve don't notice me.

I walk in the door an' clear th'landin' with the assistant chick at the counter, an' head up ta the roof.

Thought fer sure I'd run inta Cait Sith at least, but I guess I'm off the hook. Vince shows up 'bout ten minutes later, carryin' one suitcase.

"How've ya been livin' here almost three weeks on just that?"

"I wash my clothes. Most people do."

"Whatever."

"Is there a cabin I can use?"

"Y'know there is. Ya been on it b'fore."

"I didn't ask if there was a cabin, I asked if there was one I could use. There's a difference."

"Only if ya think about it too damn much."

I feel a little bit bad fer bein' so…bitter…at 'im, but hones'ly? Not too bad. He deserves it.  
…No he don't. I can't blame none o' this on him. It ain't his fault.

…shit.

"Do you plan to tell me exactly what it is that you're so upset about?"

"Nah, not really. Hang on, y'already figured it out. Ya said so."

"I only said that you were an idiot, I didn't say-"

"Will ya quit that? Y'already said it enough! I know I am, okay? Just shut the fuck up, _Vincent_."

Well shit. That ain't gonna help nothin'. Least he listened to me.

"Alright, Chief."

Hate it when he calls me that. He's th'only one who does, an'…well, I kinda like it, ya know? So I hate it. I hate it 'cause it reminds me he's special t'me, not that I ever need that reminder. It ain't somethin' I forget.

I especially hate when he says it like that, all quiet an' all. Makes 'im sound, I dunno, defeated. I don't ever wanna be the one t'make 'im feel that way.

Sometimes I wish I could forget how special he is ta me. Wish he could be worthless t'me like I am t'him. I know I'm bein' overdramatic, but damn it all, I _wanna_ wallow in self-pity a while! So he's gonna have ta put up with it.

I can't win. I feel bad again. Real bad now.

"Vince?"

"I know."

"Thanks."

Still can't look at 'im.

We stand there, totally silent, fer another half-hour b'fore my crew o' morons fin'ly decides t'show up.

"Well that took long enough," I grumble as whoever's flyin' makes a sloppy landin' an' almost hits the buildin'. "An' that's why I don't usually let people fly ma baby."

I can see Vince's lips twitchin', an' I think it's on the tip o' 'is tongue ta crack a joke about when I called him "baby" earlier. He's jus' too polite ta do it. An' I gotta say, I'm pretty damn grateful fer that right now, even though I'm always tellin' 'im ta lighten up.

"Alright, morons! Get yerselves t'yer posts! An' if I ever find out who made- _tried ta make_- that landin' just now, I will make sure pers'nally y'never fly again!" They all pretend ta cringe, just fer effect, an' Robbins comes over, deathly pale an' shakin'.

"I'm sorry, Cap'n. I didn't mean to go down so low…"

"Heh, I know. I ain't that mad. It was better than yer last try." I wink –somethin' I only do when I'm really preoccupied an' ain't thinkin' straight, winkin' is fuckin' creepy- an' clap 'im on the back. He deserves it, too. Last time, he actually _did_ hit the buildin' he was tryin'a land on. I dunno why he keeps tryin'. Admire it, though. He'll be great, if he ever stops bein' awful. Why they let 'im fly the Shera, though…I jus' don't know.

"Vin, y'know where the cabins are. They should all be open fer now."

"Thank you."

"An' o' course, yer welcome t'join us all up here."

"I won't be doing that."

Damn. Now that he's here, I can't help but think about the last time he was on the ship. But I ain't gonna think about it now, 'cause I won't be able ta fly if I do.

An' I'll be damned if I let us crash with Vince on board.

…I'm really screwed. Royally fucked might even be more accurate. Ya'd think I'd care about the crew a little, too. Or maybe even maself. But I don't, today. How'd I get ta this point? How d'ya fall head over heels fer someone an' not even notice? When's it love, when's it obsession, when's it nothin' but lust? I'll be damned if I can tell the diff'rence.

Well, I get us there fine, an' I manage t'keep ma mind on the ship the whole way. Whoop-de-doo fer me. Ain't feelin' no better, an' I ain't any less screwed.

When we touch down –an' I do a much better job than Robbins, I notice- ever'body jus' piles off the ship all at once. I don't get it.

"Captain, was it really necessary to attempt to break the sound barrier?"

"Huh?"

"You got us from Edge to Rocket Town in ten minutes. How are you not even dizzy?"

"Uh…" Shit, did we really go that fast? Heh. Cool. Just wish I woulda noticed…well, guess I wasn't as focused as I thought. Or maybe- yeah, I was _more _focused than I thought. That's exactly it.

"Well, sorry, fellas. That's how it's done."

Guess I oughta go check on Vince. He ain't a fan o' speed when it ain't his own two feet he's relyin' on. Yeah, I'll do that. I go back to the cabin he stayed in last time, figurin' he'd be in that one b'fore any o' the others, jus' on the basis o' familiarity.

"Vince? Thought ya'd be here. Y'alright? Apparently I went fast. Really fast."

"That you did."

"Yeah…sorry 'bout that."

"I'm fine." He pats the bed next to 'im, like he did a couple days ago- or was it only yesterday?

"What?" I ask as I kinda perch on th'edge o' the bed, pretendin' t'be mad, 'cause I can't really be when he's this close ta me.

An arm comes 'round ma shoulders an' squeezes. I reckon I c'n take a hint. I scootch closer to 'im, but he squeezes again, so I guess it ain't enough. I try again, an' I guess he gets fed up with me not gettin' the cue. Well damn it. I _thought_ I knew what he wanted. Guess I'm losin' ma touch.

Anyhow, he musta gotten fed up, 'cause he pulls me against his chest, somethin' that's only happened once before. I lean ma head against him, enjoyin' the long lost feelin' he jus' gave back. Somethin's diff'rent…

"Hey, Vince? Yer heart's beatin'."

"It has to now. Chaos is gone, and the protomateria with him. Nothing sustains me now but life itself. I am, once again, nothing more than an average man."

"Bullshit." He could never be just average. Not Vincent Valentine.

"Hm."

I remember hearin' 'im cryin' in 'is sleep, an' tryin' ta wake 'im up. "Vince?"

"_Vince? Y'alright, man? Hey, wake up. Vince?"_

"_Highwind. What are you doing?"_

"_Wakin' y'up. Y'were, uh, havin' a nightmare, I think."_

"_And you felt the need to slap me across the face?"_

"_Hey, I couldn't find a heartbeat!"_

"_Of course you didn't."_

"_I'm serious!"_

"_As am I. Listen." He pulls me close to 'im, so fast I almost fall over. Freaks me out, y'know, 'cause he ain't a touchy-feely kind o' guy._

"_I'm listenin'."_

"_And what do you hear?"_

"_No-nothin'." Not a thing." I knew it! Ya really are a fuckin' vampire!"_

"_I am not. Chaos…has a life force of his own, somehow. He sustains me because I am his vessel for the time being. How long that time may be, I know not, but as long as I serve as his only way of staying here and alive, I will not have to rely on my own body, nor will I use my own life force. It is the same reason I do not age, the same reason I may be here forever, watching as those around me grow old and die."_

"_Damn. Never heard you say that much all at once. In fact, I don't think I've ever heard you say that much, period."_

"_Hm."_

"_You gonna _

…let me up now?"

"In a moment." He wraps his other arm around me so that 'is hands are locked t'gether just above ma left hip. I'm in a damn awkward position. He don't seem ta care.

On impulse, or maybe as revenge, I wrap _my _arms around _him, _an' snuggle in closer, jus' 'cause I can. "So, it beats now, huh? It always beat this fast?"

"No, not always."

"Only after ya made a transoceanic trip in ten minutes?"

"I don't think that was it."

"Huh."

He makes an "oomph" noise as I squeeze him just a little, then he presses his face 'gainst the top o' ma head. Jus' fer a second, though.

"While you're there, listen." The words're muffled 'gainst the top of ma head.

"I'm listenin'."

"Hm." Guess he remembers, too. "Listen carefully. I'm only saying this once."

"Gotcha."

He picks his head up an' brings his lips ta my ear. I can feel 'em brushin' against me as he talks, an' it's makin' me crazy.

"There is nothing between Reeve and myself."

I gulp. I dunno why, an' I'm pretty damned embarrassed by it, but it jus' happens. "'Kay. Uh, good fer y'all?"

"Don't you understand yet?"

I shake ma head, even though I'm pretty sure I know where he's goin'.

"Cid Highwind, you are an idiot," he says, and

* * *

Don't hate me...I'm sorry! Yes, it ends mid-sentence. I'm sorry! It's worth it...anyone wanna take a guess what happens? ...you're all contemplating murdering me as I sleep, aren't you? Don't. It was a sweet little chapter anyway, wasn't it? If you're good, and you leave NICE reviews, I'll post part2 of this chapter later today.


	8. BriefsnortInterlude3

Because I'm nice. And because I broke 500 hits! Not a very impressive number, I guess...but the fic's been going less than a month, and it's only seven chapters long! Well, eight now. I think.

Thanks to **Chibi Koun, BMIK, ShadowChild Of Death, darkbloodymoon, BlackCoat, Solo-Strifer, robertmarilyn, Phosphate-Blues, The Double-Faced Muse, Product Of A Sick Society,** **MadzCheesyfied, Valitiel, **and **HinoYashaKitsu.**

Really, thanks so much, all of you. But, um...all you guys who just fave and subscribe? It'd be really, really cool if you'd review, just once. I mean, just leave a smiley face or something. I'm such a hypocrite. I do that all the time, subscribe without reviewing. But since I asked nicely? And gave you two whole updates in one day? Please? A Valentine's Day gift. Perfect. You know what I got for Valentine's Day? A singing stuffed cow from my dad. I love it very much. Reviews would be almost as fabulous.

Pay close attention in this chapter. It's not always easy to tell what Cid's actually saying and what he's thinking, since I didn't bother to italicize his thoughts. Why would I? Everything that isn't dialogue is his thought.

* * *

-and he pushes me off the bed. "What the hell?"

"Which room am I staying in?"

I gape at 'im. I genuinely hate that word, but there ain't another one ta describe what I'm doin'.

"Hm?"

"Uh…firs' one on the left, upstairs, I guess?"

"…Isn't that yours?"

"Oh, um," now I'm blushin', too. "Nah, I, uh, relocated. Yeah, I'm, uh, stayin' downstairs now, y'know?"

"Uh-huh…so you cleaned out your 'office' and converted it to a bedroom, then?"

"Mm, yeah. Sure did."

"Don't lie to me."

"Ain't lyin'. I was _gonna_ clear it out an' convert it…"

He swishes his cape-thing at me an' leaves. I hate that thing so much.

I pick maself up off the floor, an' then slap maself in the forehead fer not gettin' up right away.

I follow 'im inta the house after one last walk through th'engine room.

"Where's Shera?"

"Somewhere with some chick."

"Do you really care so little about her?"

"Nah, she jus' don't really bother ta tell me nothin' anymore."

He nods and stares out the window.

"…Yer correctin' ma grammar in yer head again, ain't ya?"

"Maybe."

"Hey, Vince, 'bout me bein' an ass today-"

"You're an ass every day."

I open ma mouth ta say somethin' back, but…there ain't really nothin' ta say. Tryin' ta defend maself would be a stupid idea now.

"Yeah, I guess," I say after recoverin' a little.

"Yet I tolerate it. You think I'd be upset by today specifically?"

"It was directed at you sp'cific'ly taday. Ya have a right t'be pissed."

"I'm not. In fact, I find it…somewhat endearing that you care enough to show me how you feel."

"What the hell does that mean?"

"It means, Chief, that I know you hide things from everyone, if not quite as well as I do."

"Eh."

I dunno what ta say now…but I think it's still my turn, ya know?

"Um…so, we gonna get on with that story or what?" I don't really wanna, but…

"I thought you had business to attend to?"

"An' I thought you knew I was lyin' when I said that." He smirks. "Oh, ya did, huh? Fine, rub in ma face that yer smarter'n me. I'll getcha soon enough, you'll see."

"Thank you, Cid."

"Fer what now?"

"You told me before that you would not reject me for anything I told you. I didn't believe you, but as you said I would, I see now. And…I thank you."

"Y'know I couldn't've if I'd tried," I say, an' sneak a look at 'im. He's lookin' away, o' course.

"I'm afraid, however, that there is more to come. Worse things to come. If you…if you choose after that point to send me away, I will understand. You will know when we reach said point, believe me."

"Not 'til t'morra, though. T'night we're restin'. I need a break from the fairy tales, yeah?"

"Hm."

"…Ya gotta teach me how ta do that."

"I don't want to."

"Huh?"

"You'll use it against me at every chance you get. It's my trick. I don't share."

God, I love 'im. I dunno why that just hit me again. Maybe 'cause he just cracked a joke. Maybe 'cause he's smilin', an' I know I'm one o' the few who gets ta see it, an' maybe the only one who knows how much each one costs 'im. Except maybe Cloud. They're kinda alike, but Cloud ain't…I dunno. He ain't Vince.

"Hey, didja hear 'bout Cloud?"

"What about him?" His tone says he don't care, an' I know he really don't. I don't either, really, but I gotta say somethin'.

"Sounds like he found someone. Some Squall or some weird name like that."

"Good. It's time he moved on."

"What about you, eh?"

"I'm with Reeve, remember?" he says dryly, an' I can hear a little bit o' resentment in 'is voice.

"Oh yeah. Sorry, forgot already." I smile, hopin' it'll push away the resentment I jus' drew out o' hidin'.

"Hm."

"…stop _doin'_ that!"

He laughs, not the real kind, but the chuckle we used t'get every so often. I laugh with 'im, jus' 'cause I can.

He goes outside after a minute, an' I decide ta make some tea. I ain't done it m'self in a while, but I know just how I like it, damn it, an' I ain't gonna let bein' out o' practice mess me up.

It comes out jus' fine, like I knew it would. I stick ma head out the door. "Hey, Vince, get yer ass in here an' drink yer goddamn tea!"

That gets a real laugh from 'im, an' when he walks past me he looks at me fer more than half a second. It gives me time to see somethin' new in 'is eyes- affection. It ain't somethin' he shows easily, an' I think maybe he don't feel it so easily either. Don't matter t'me- 'm gonna take what I c'n get, an' knowin' it don't come easy jus' makes it even more worth lookin' fer.

He sits an' drinks the tea, even though I know he really don't like it.

"Ya don't have ta drink it."

"I'm going to."

"A'ight then."

It's startin' ta get dark. It was dark in Edge when we left. I feel kinda bad fer not tellin' Tifa an' them we were leavin'. They'll be wond'rin where their new breakfast buddy is t'morra. Bet Marlene'll be really sad.

"Come see."

See what? Guess I'll find out.

I walk around ta his side o' the table, an' see he's pulled out the envelope Reeve brought earlier.

"Hey, Vince, I know this'll prob'ly jus' piss ya off, but I gotta ask. Do you realize that if you'd been anybody else, Reeve woulda sent the papers with Cait Sith?"

He puts his fingers on his forehead an' glares up at me through 'em. Heh, I jus' got a real reaction. "Are you trying to set me up with him or do you resent him for trying to catch my attention? You aren't making it very clear."

"I was jus' wond'rin if you noticed."

"I had. He's asked me a few times to join him at dinners and formal occasions, but I don't really…"

"Ya don't hafta say anymore." I could tell he was feelin' off about almost insultin' a good friend. " I understand."

"I know," he says, an' it's warm. That warmth kicks the jokin's ass. Maybe even th'affection's ass. "Look," he says, an' holds out a folder he took from the envelope.

I sit down next to 'im an' put the folder on the table b'fore openin' it.

"What is it?"

"Something I didn't think I'd see again. I believed all copies to have been destroyed. How she would find it, when I did not..." he trails off, shakin' 'is head.

What's so important? I open the folder, an' th'answer ta ma question comes in the form of 19-year-old Vince in his Turk suit on 'is induction day, lean an' not hidin' 'is body, hair cut short an' kinda feathered. If I'd been standin' up, I mighta fell down.

"Damn…Vince, y'oughta cut yer hair again. An' ditch the vamp-cape."

"You think so?"

"Yer hot here. Uh, I mean…uh…"

"I don't mind. Except," he frowns, teasin', "are you saying I'm not attractive in my old age?"

"Wha-No, ya still look fuckin' great, buddy! Don't get me wrong! But this is jus'…I wish I'd known ya when you were that comf'table around people. I mean, the picture's faded, but ya still can kinda see an air of 'casual' followin' y'around."

"Flip back a few more pages."

I do, an' I see a picture fer every year he was a Turk, includin' a double o' the last one attached to a file that says, "missing".

"That's what ya were, huh? Missin'?"

"Mm, I'm afraid we're not _quite _there yet. I'll explain soon You may…keep the extra one, if you want it."

"Really?" I sound like a schoolgirl fawnin' over a crush. Or maybe how Cloud would sound if somebody offered him pictures o' Sephiroth nude. Unfortunately, I do know what that sounds like. Stupid ninja brat hadda tease th'poor kid like that.

How does he do this ta me? Oh well. The embarrassment's worth it. I now have in my possession a picture of 27-year-old Vince, his face smooth an' his eyes happy. He musta been in love when this was taken. Oh, yeah, that's right. That chick.

He catches me starin' at it fer way too long. "I take it you like that one as well?"

"What can I say? Happy looks good on ya." I stop fer a second, an' decide it's safe t'add the next part- "an' so does love."

He doesn't even "hm" at me, jus' bites 'is lip an' looks away. "I _was_ in love."

"Ya can tell."

"Is it ever the same twice?"

Huh? "I wouldn't know. Only happened once fer me," I say as quietly as I can. But I needed ta say it out loud, an' I woulda done it even if no one was in the room with me at the time.

"I don't think it can be the same. But it _is_ possible to love that deeply more than once. That much I know."

Can we please just clear the fuckin' tension that's buildin' up here?! I don't know how, and I know he don't know how, but somethin's gotta give, sometime. …Right?

I hand back the folder after I flip through the files one more time. "Hey, what's that 'Victorious Strength' labelin' ever'thin' fer?"

"It was a codename of sorts, one just for the scientific files. It's what my name means. It was one of the simplest to assign; other people had ridiculous names that meant nothing."

"So ya got a middle name?"

"No."

"Oh."

"You don't, either."

"How d'_you _know?"

"I just know."

"Whatever." I love you.

"Agreed."

"Vince."

"Hm?"

"Jus' wanted ta say it."

"That's always your excuse. Tell me you weren't having more inappropriate thoughts concerning myself and chocolate?"

"Nah, not this time. But now that ya mention it-"

"Stop now and no one gets hurt."

"Okay, okay."

Is it real bad that I wanna launch maself onto 'is lap an' stay there? I'd like ta kiss 'im while I'm there, too, but it wouldn't matter if that part didn't happen. I jus' wanna be close.

Damn. I'd been fine fer so long with admirin' from a distance. Then he jus' had ta let me share a bed with 'im voluntarily an' consciously at th'same time. Now I can't live without bein' close.

An' I jus' thought I was screwed b'fore.

"What are you thinking?"

Stuff I shouldn't. "Nothin'."

"That isn't surprising."

"Hey!"

"I'm just kidding."

"Guess I knew that. Hey."

"Hm?"

"The room on the right up the stairs's free. Guess I never really answered ya earlier."

"Are you sure? I liked the idea of staying in the one on the left."

Fuck, Vince don't do that t'me… "Hey, I'm sleepin' in my own bed tonight. Spent damn near two weeks stayin' up all night, not bein' able ta sleep…"

"I know. I'm…so sorry." It ain't sarcastic. I wish it was. That wouldn't'a hurt. This does.

"Ain't nothin' t'apologize for. Y'came back, dincha? An' ya saved the world, too. An' don't answer with 'hm'."

"Mm." It has a kind tight sound to it, strained, or somethin'. 'Fact, s'almost a squeak.

"It's gettin' late. Y'oughta get on ta bed."

"It's only nine-thirty."

"Yeah, an' that's way past yer bedtime, bat-boy. Don't make me carry ya upstairs."

"You couldn't if you tried."

"That a challenge?"

"Not today. Perhaps later, if you still feel inclined to try it."

"You got a deal. Now go to bed."

"Nine-thirty is _not_ past my bedtime. And if you don't mind, I'd like to take a shower first."

"Be my guest." Be my baby. Be my lover. Be my…just be mine.

"Thank you. There is one downstairs, correct?"

"Yup. Y'know where it is?"

"I'll find it."

"Yeah."

He leaves. I sit an' think fer a long time, but I can't figger out fer the life o' me what I'm thinkin' about. Can't seem ta focus on one thing fer more'n two minutes.

Finally I decide ta shower too, an' change out o' these clothes I been wearin' fer…I don'wanna think about it.

Guess Vince is already in bed when I leave the bathroom an' head back up the hall t'm'room. I don't see or hear nothin' of 'im, that's fer sure. Whatever. Good night's sleep, an' I'll be back on track in the mornin'.

* * *

Hopeless romantic Cid is back...and so is totally-in-control-of-every-situation-Vincent. Fun stuff. I left off at a reasonable place this time!


	9. The Gingerbread House

Thanks to **Chibi Koun, BMIK, ShadowChild Of Death, darkbloodymoon, BlackCoat, Solo-Strifer, robertmarilyn, Phosphate-Blues, The Double-Faced Muse, Product Of A Sick Society,** **MadzCheesyfied, Valitiel, **and **HinoYashaKitsu.**

There's a severe overuse of the word 'sir' here, and light mentions of character death/suicide. I don't own Square Enix's characters, but I do own Jesse. He just never exactly has a set story/personality…and he's not all that important here.

**Chibi Koun-** there's a little shout-out to you in here, sort of. I couldn't resist once the conversation took that turn…

* * *

Some days I dunno why I even bother wakin' up. Just don't seem worth it sometimes, y'know?

But this ain't one o' those days. Today, I have Vince ta wake up to, an' that's enough reason fer me. Hell, I think I'd come back from the dead if I knew he'd be there when I woke up. …I gotta get over this. …Who'm I kiddin'? I don't _wanna_ get over it.

I go downstairs, an' I can't honestly say'm surprised ta see 'im already awake an' helpin' 'imself ta breakfast. …'kay, yeah, that surprises me a little. Normally he don't do nothin' without askin' first. Eh, I did tell 'im ta be my guest.

"Mornin'."

"Afternoon."

"Huh?"

"Twelve-thirty-four."

"Oh. Afternoon, then. How long ya been up?"

"Long enough to learn that you have almost no food in the house."

"Shera does the shoppin'."

"The tea's still hot. I think you need it."

"Y'made tea?"

"You may not like it…"

It'll be perfect. You made it. "Ah, it'll be fine. Better'n nothin', at least."

I pour a cup from what's left. "Smells fine."

I take a sip, not really expectin' much o' nothin'. Vince don't really strike me as a…as a…"Damn."

"It's that bad? I apologi-"

"This is the best tea I've ever had." He doesn't even like tea that much. Why would he know how ta make it like this?

"I'm glad."

"Yer not allowed ta leave. Yer gonna replace Shera. Uh, I won't make ya wash dishes'n'shit, though."

"I appreciate the thought, but I've already done the dishes."

"…Why?"

"They were piled up."

"But yer the guest. Ya don't work here, 'cept the tea."

"Maybe I enjoy doing dishes."

"Doubt it."

"Someone dropped by with a message for you."

He hands me a note. It says : "Captain, we sort of need you at the hangar today…we'll explain when you get here. Just some technical problems we need to work out." –Jesse

"Damn idiots. Prob'ly fucked somethin' up bigtime. Jesse's their spokesman fer when shit goes really wrong. Got a way with words, see? An' it's real hard ta get mad at 'im. He's like a kid or somethin'."

"I suggest you get there right away, then. I think I'll do a bit of shopping. Chances are I'll be here for a while. You may be content with starving, but I prefer to eat."

"Yeah? Nobody'd ever guess that lookin' atcha."

"I'm not _that _thin."

"Nah, guess not."

Well, I leave after I wolf down a piece o' toast. That's all. It goes without sayin' that I ain't too happy by the time I get to the _Shera_.

"Alright, boys, what'd ya break?"

"Well, that's just it, Cap'n. We, uh, we're not sure. Um, Jess?"

"Yeah, yeah, I'm comin'. Alright, so…we tried to get her started up this mornin' and she just wouldn't go. We checked everything- hell, I made a double-check myself- and I just don't see anything wrong. That doesn't change the fact that she won't leave the ground."

"One question."

"Shoot."

"Why the fuck are ya tryin' ta get _my_ ship anywhere without _my_ permission?"

"Um."

"Is that it?"

Jess nods, tryin' to pull the puppy-dog eyes. Too bad fer me, it actually works.

"Yer all lucky I don't jus' fire ya here an' now."

"Yessir," they all say.

"Lemme go check through once. I'm gonna see what's wrong, start 'er up, bring 'er back here, an' then proceed t'interrogate each o' ya until I figger out why ya were tryin' ta move 'er in the first place."

"Yessir."

"Jess, come with me."

"Yessir."

"A'right. Now ya gonna tell me what's goin' on or do I have t'keep ma threat?"

"Well, ya know how Robbins is determined to prove he's worthy of being on the team?"

"Yeah."

"And you know how he's obsessed with proving to you that teaching him to fly would be worth your time?"

"Yer not tellin' me he-"

"Well, we came in here today to check 'er over –heard ya worked 'er pretty hard yesterday. Ten minutes from Edge? I'm sorry I missed it."

"Yeah, well that was yer own fault, spendin' time with yer girl, just 'cause it was yer fifth annivers'ry…how's she doin', anyway?"

He smiles real big, an' I don't think he really remembers what we're talkin' 'bout anymore.

"She's…Cid, she's pregnant. We've been trying for, well, five years, ya know? And, finally…"

"Happy for ya, kid. Tell 'er I said so."

"I'll tell her. And…well, we want to ask you to be godfather. Would you?"

Aw. …Wait…did I really just think 'aw'? "Heh, sure I will. I'd be honored, really."

"Thanks!" He hugs me. Tight. I think ma head's gonna pop off. "I'll tell Danni as soon as I get home. She'll be so happy."

"Hey, a'right, let go now, kid."

"Sorry…"

"Meh. So anyway, ya'll be wantin' to take some time off, I 'magine."

"Yeah…"

"Well, lemme tell ya this. Long as ya keep it under a year, I'll pay ya the whole time yer gone."

"Wha- no, Cap'n, I can't ask you ta-"

"Ya didn't ask. Think about it, Jess. Ya been workin' with me for…a long time. Ain't nobody been half as good at what ya do as you. Ya deserve some time off, an' I c'n afford ta pay a good employee an' a good friend. Think of it this way, if ya want- first couple o' years, ya got some really shitty pay. Let this make up fer that, huh?"

"…You're the best, do you know that?"

"Yeah, I do. Don't hug me again jus' now, I'm still tryin'a get ma breath back."

"Okay. Still, ya know…"

"Heh. So back ta Robbins an' the _Shera…"_

"Oh! Totally forgot. Heh, sorry. Well, we came in ta check up on 'er, an' we walk in to find 'er a few feet of the ground, kinda…y'know, wobblin', a little. And we call up there ta see f'it's you, drunk again like that one time, an' Robbins yells back at us ta get him down an' make it stop an' all. So we talked 'im down, an'…well, he asked us to tell you he left the team. But we don't know if he sabotaged 'er or what…but she doesn't wanna fly."

Shit. Little asshole. Killin' ma baby. "Well, lessee…" I start th'engine, an' it turns on. I turn it off, an' it goes off.

"Well that ain't it." I move on ta th'ascension mechanisms. "Hey, Jess, flip th'engine switch again, yeah?"

He does, an' I let it run fer a sec, then press the "lift" button, an' she lifts.

"Ain't nothin' wrong, asshole! Ya jus' wanted ta get me down 'ere, dincha?"

He smiles at me. I could kill 'im. "Actually, all the rest is true. Robbins did try to fly 'er an' he left. I figured you'd wanna check 'er out yerself, but I knew nothin' short o' tellin' you something was wrong would actually get you out here, what with your new buddy bein' there an' all."

"Gonna kill all o' ya."

"Yeah, yeah."

"Ya couldn't'a jus' said that? I mean, c'mon. Would it really've hurt t'try honesty?"

"I _was_ honest. Except the part where we tried to start 'er up after Robbins walked out."

"No wonder she wouldn't leave the ground then, dumbass. Oh wait, ya knew that. I'm the dumbass here, right?"

"Right!" he agrees, way too cheerfully. An' ta think I'm still gonna give 'im that paid vacation.

"Stupid kid."

"You love me anyway."

"Yeah, I do."

He blinks. "Whoa, gonna have to mark that on the calendar."

"Yeah, yeah." Can't help it if wakin' up ta Vince makin' breakfast puts me in a good mood.

"Guess we'll let ya go then, Cap'n. Catch ya later."

"Yup. An' don't do nothin' stupid like that again, ya hear?"

"Sure, sure." We both know it'll only be a couple o' weeks b'fore 'e does. Like that one time he told me he was bein' chased by a kyuvilduns. I went out there ta get 'im, an' he was jus' sittin' there with 'is car broke down. Said he figured I woulda just called 'im an idiot fer lettin' 'is car break down if he'd told the truth. He'd'a been right.

Walkin' back, I notice how much has changed. I never planned ta come back ta Rocket Town after I left. The rocket ain't fell yet, an' I'm still here. So maybe nothin's changed. But still…four years ago, _nobody_ lived here. We were a nowhere town o' sorts, an' there wasn't much goin' on. Now we got our own theater, couple o' strip malls, an' a library. From jus' about nothin', in jus' four years. S'pretty good, I guess. I dunno. Kinda liked it quiet.

Anyhow, I'm so lost in thought I don't notice I'm passin' ma house.

"Going somewhere?"

"Huh?" I turn aroun' an' see Vince sittin' on the porch swing Shera begged me ta put in last year.

"Are you headed for parts?"

Heh, he cares. Or he's pretendin' to. "Nah, she was fine. The boys were bein' stupid. I jus' forgot where I was goin' fer a minute."

"And here I was, thinking you cared about me. Obviously I was wrong, or you wouldn't have forgotten to come back to me."

"Wasn' you I was forgettin', Vin. Don't worry 'bout that."

"Yes, well, either way, you're still standing in the street, and I'm still having to raise my voice louder than I'd like to speak to you."

"Oh, sorry. Wait, I ain't talkin' loud."

"But I have advanced hearing."

"Oh yeah." I go back a few steps an' turn right ta go up the steps. I stan' there fer a secon', not sure if it'd be okay fer me ta join 'im on the swing. Ah, what the hell, it's my house.

I sit down, far enough t'give 'im 'is space. Plus, sittin' on the'edge like I am, I have an armrest. Ain't plannin' t'_use_ the armrest, but that ain't the point.

"So what'd you do t'day?"

"You were only gone forty-five minutes."

"But you were up b'fore me."

"I made breakfast, remember?"

"An' other'n that?"

"Watered your flowers, did some shopping, and put the cat out."

"…I don't have a cat."

"Well, someone in your house must."

"Nope. Unless Shera's been hidin' one on me."

"I doubt she would. She feels so indebted to you-"

"That's 'zackly why she woulda hid it."

"Hm?"

"She woulda felt too bad t'ask me ta keep it, but she woulda felt too bad fer it ta throw it out, so she woulda snuck it in an' kept it without mentionin' it to me."

"Ah."

An' he thought I didn't know 'er. "Hey, Vince?"

"What?"

"I just won."

"You did indeed. Congratulations."

"What's my prize?"

He coughs an' looks away, an' I realize what I said. "Hey, no, I didn't mean it like that…get yer mind outta the gutter! Heh, didn't think I'd ever hafta tell _you _that."

He looks at me with one eyebrow raised. "What _are _you going on about?"

Damn. He set me up. "You know what I'm talkin' about."

"I suppose I do." I think he's blushin'. Maybe. Or that might be me. I can't tell, 'cause I ain't lookin' at 'im no more.

"Well anyhow…"

"I'm going inside. I made some chicken salad for lunch, if you'd like to try it."

"Where'd ya get chicken an' all that shit?"

"I went shopping, remember?"

"Oh yeah…hope ya didn't wear that stupid cape." He never got up. Said he was goin' inside, but I guess he'd rather talk ta me, even if I am bein' embarrassin'.

"Of course I did. It's a cloak, not a cape, by the way."

"S'a cape an' you know it. Y'ain't grown outta the superhero stage yet. Y'just think ya have."

"And you would know, because you're the one who studied psychology for three years."

"Didja really?"

"Yes. It was part of our training. Supposedly one cannot ignore the human psyche without first understanding it completely."

"Seems a little backwards. F'ya know all about it, ain't ya gonna notice it more, an' then…feel worse 'bout it?"

"One would think. But…they may have known what they were doing, after all. Knowing how the mind reacts to fear made it easier, later, to…"

"Ta kill people who were tryin'a reason their way out of it?"

"Yes. It's not something I've ever been proud of, except at first…" he looks off down the street, away from me.

"Don't get sad, Vince."

I move ta put an arm around 'im, but I stop when he looks back at me. He don't say anything, but I know he knows what I was doin'. He leans back in the seat just the tiniest bit, like he'd been tense an' now he's relaxed.

An' this where I get conceited, 'cause ain't nobody else woulda known what that meant. Might even be no one else woulda noticed it.

So I scoot closer, but when I get there, I let him put 'is arm aroun' me, instead o' the other way around.

We get ta sit like that fer maybe thirty seconds, an' that damn cat d'cides it gets ta sit in Vince's lap. I push it off without thinkin'. I didn't even see it comin', it's just suddenly _there._

Bein' a cat, it jumps right back up after I push it away. I try again, jus' t'get the point across. Does it work? Nah. Now the dumb animal thinks we're playin' a game. I know how this goes with cats. They keep playin' 'til they poop out an' fall asleep wherever they are. Seen one fall asleep mid-jump.

So o' course I know that if I keep pushin' it away, it'll end up sleepin' in Vince's lap. So I figure I'm gonna lose anyway, an' jus' leave it alone.

"Jealous, Highwind?"

He really shouldn't say stuff like that. Not in ma ear. Not when he's sittin' this close with an arm aroun' me. Not when he can't possibly know that yes! I'm fuckin' jealous!

"Pfft."

"Hm."

"Glare."

"…You don't _say_ 'glare' when you're glaring. It ruins the effect."

"Yeah, well, I wasn't sure ya could tell I was glarin', ya know?"

"To be fair, you don't glare very well. You just look goofy."

He frowns after he says it, like the word's not really familiar, or like…y'know when ya say a word too many times, or ya think about it too much, an' it starts ta sound weird an' ya can't 'member what it means? Yeah, that's what 'e looks like.

Anyhow, "goofy" just ain't a Vince word.

"Yeah, then I guess you'll hafta teach me how ta do it then, huh?"

"No."

"Oh, c'mon. Ya gotta share at least one trick. Otherwise how'm I gonna get back atcha when yer givin' me the silent treatment?"

"I suppose you'll have to do what you always do: keep talking until I either decide to talk back or hit you."

"Ye've never hit me…oh yeah, except that one time…an' when…oh, an' that time I was drunk an' I flew out ta Kalm just t'bother ya…hey! Yer a damn abusive friend, y'know that?"

"Hm," he says, putting emphasis on it 'cause he knows it'll piss me off.

It does, o' course, an' I can only think o' one way t'respond. "Hey Vince, thought y'were goin' inside."

He gets up an' leaves. Prob'ly I haven't offended him, an' he's jus' carryin' on the game. It is a game. A fucked up one, I guess, but still a game. Ever'thin' we say an' do t'each other. It'll be over when…well, when the tension's fin'ly gone. An' I dunno about him, but if the game ends the way I think it might, I'll consider m'self a winner. Only hope he'll consider 'imself one, too.

After all, I am quite a catch. Heh.

I give 'im a few minutes, which is enough time fer Shera's damn cat –it is Shera's, I guess, cause it has a collar on- ta climb inta my lap. It's either stupid or just an attention whore. Or maybe it has shitty short-term memory. I dunno, but whatever it is, it done forgot about me not likin' it already. Or, not likin' _her,_ I guess I should say. 'Parently 'er name's Jezebel. Fittin' name, tryin' ta take over Vince. Oh, shit, am I really jealous of a fuckin' cat? Heh, maybe I'll learn from it- her. Yup, one day soon, I'm jus' gonna jump right up inta his lap an' see what happens.

Yeah right. I have too much respect for 'im than that. …damn respect. Time ta get rid o' that.

"Hey, Vince! Wanna make me a sandwich while yer in there?"

"You can do it yourself."

"But I want _you _ta make it!" I laugh as I say it, 'cause as far as I know, that line only works with Shera. We'll see…

"Didn't you just get through telling me that I don't have to work while I'm here?"

Damn. "Yeah, yeah, alright. I'll make it maself."

After all, he made the salad. Figure I c'n make my own sandwich.

When I walk in the kitchen, he's lookin' at the files again. "Thoughtcha put those away?"

"Hm."

"So whatcha lookin' fer?"

"A sandwich."

"Huh?"

"Aren't you making sandwiches?"

Damn it! "Yeah, sure." I catch 'im smirkin' as I walk over ta the fridge. I make two sandwiches an' bring 'im one, an' sit down next to 'im with the other one.

"All I've told you up to this point," he says, "has been my trail of breadcrumbs. ShinRa was my gingerbread house, but unlike the traditional version, Gretel never existed for me until I reached that house."

"Guess I oughta get comf'table, huh?"

"We may be here a while, yes."

"Lemme eat first?"

"Of course."

I take a bite, an' he puts down the folder. He looks at his sandwich like he didn't notice it was there until just now. I think he wants ta say he wasn't serious when 'e asked me ta make 'im one, but he's too touched or embarrassed or somethin' that I did it to let me down. S'kinda sweet.

"Cid?"

"Yeah?" I ask, with ma mouth full. Shitty table manners, an' all, I know. But I don't really fuckin' care. Never have.

"Would you like to visit her with me?"

No. No I would not like ta sit there an' stare at yer dead- petrified, crystallized, whatever- girlfriend. No, I would not like that at all, Vince.

"Sure, Vince."

"Thank you."

"Ain't a problem."

He jus' looks. I dunno f'e's lookin' at me or what. He's jus' lookin'. Makes me a little uncomf'table. Finally his eyes snap back inta focus or whatever, an' I can tell he's really seein' me now.

"S'good stuff."

"Excuse me?"

"This chicken salad. S'pretty good."

"Thank you."

"Thank _you_."

We finish off the meal in silence. I fuckin' hate the quiet. Well, it has its place, it's jus' that its place ain't at ma table. I hate when it's quiet at ma dinner table. Lunch, whatever.

"Ready ta go?"

"Hm," he says, an' nods.

"M'a flyin', or…"

"You'll have to. With Chaos gone, I am human, remember? I can't fly anymore."

Let me be your wings, then. Damn, I just think cheesier by the minute. "M'kay. That cave place? Where they found y'a coupla weeks ago?"

"Yes."

We load up, not onta the Shera but onta the Little Mustang, an improvised 'n' improved version o' the Tiny Bronco. Miss that Bronco, man. They don't make 'em like that no more.

The flight's quiet, too. Damn it, if there's one place I hate quiet more'n ma table…it's ma fuckin' airships! They oughta be buzzin' with people enjoyin' the flight an' shit. All I got this time is Vince standin' an' starin' out the window the whole time. I could prob'ly put 'er on auto an' go stand with 'im fer a second, but I ain't gonna.

I dunno how long we're in the air, but ma guess is it's a while, 'cause, my feet hurt from standin' still when I see the field-thing in front o' the cave. I land there, tryin' ma best not ta disturb anythin'.

I let 'im get off first an' give 'im a good head start while I check th'engine an' do a couple unnecessary double-checks. He goes inta the cave, an' when I finally go in after 'im, I hang a few feet back, so 'e can say hello to 'er without me bein' there. He only takes a second ta do it, then he turns an' motions fer me ta follow 'im.

We get right up close ta the- water? I ain't steppin' in it, that's fer sure. He sits down, one knee pulled up to 'is chest, the other stretched out. I get a sudden flash o' what 'e musta looked like as a teenager- sittin' like that, pencil b'hind 'is ear, or maybe b'tween 'is teeth, notebook propped up on the raised knee as he looks out the window. No wonder the roommate had the hots for 'im.

"Sit." I sit. An' then that creepy voice with no body rings out.

…_I'm…so…_

"Lucrecia?" Lucrecia, all right. This is fuckin' weird…

…_So…happy…_

"Lucrecia…"

…_Vincent, I'm so…so happy…_

"Thank you."

I don't say anythin'. I feel fuckin' dirty bein' here, list'nin' ta this. It ain't fer me. It's b'tween him an' her. It ain't right fer me to be here.

"Vince?"

"She's probably done for a while. Did that…upset you? I'm sorry."

…_So sorry!_

"Oh, not both o' ya…I ain't upset. Jus' felt like I was intrudin'."

"I assure you that you aren't. Where was I? Oh, the beginning."

Beginning? We been on this shit fer days now…

"My first mission as a Turk…"

* * *

His first mission was ta escort President Shinra ta Nibelheim. He was goin' there ta talk ta the village officials 'bout puttin' in the mako reactor. The people were overjoyed- energy, right in their own backyards. It'd be cheaper since it was closer, right? Plus, there'd be more of it ta go around with a new reactor. There was no trouble. Sure, build the thing. Won't ever bring nothin' but good. Yeah, that worked out just fine.

It was when Vince got back from that mission that he met Hojo fer the first time.

"Valentine? Excellent. You are to report to the lab at once to see Dr. Hojo."

"Hojo, sir?" He was talkin' ta the Pres. They'd just gotten back from the mission, an' the Pres had been paged.

"Yes, yes. The doctor. He has a new injection for improving eyesight. That could hardly hurt your sharpshooting skills, hm?"

"Yes, sir. Right away, sir."

He got ta the lab an' found a greasy, ugly man with a black ponytail standin' over some poor fella strapped ta the table, holdin' a syringe.

"Dr…Hojo, sir?"

"Hmmm? What? Who are _you_? _Ohhh…_Valentine, yes? Yes, yes, very good…right this way, boy."

Vince already didn't like the creepy-ass no good shit. Who could, eh?

"Right here, sit right here! The vision injection, right?" The creepy fucker made that gigglin' cackle thing we all ended up hearin' way too much of.

"Yes, sir."

"So polite…it's a shame…mmph-mm…Turk…scientist, like…."

"Sir?"

"Nothing, nothing, I wasn't talking to you! Now, this may hurt, it's a big needle…" Creepy-ass cackle.

Vince says it hurt like hell, but he didn't say nothin' 'bout it. He kinda had the feelin' that Hojo'd see it as an excuse t'keep 'im down there longer, an' Vince didn't wanna spend any more time there than was necessary.

He went on fer another year or so, an' he never saw 'is father once. Sure, he'd been there on Vince's induction day, but they hadn't really gotten ta talk.

He wasn't talkin' to 'is mom anymore- b'fore he'd left fer 'is last years o' trainin', she'd told 'im he'd never be a Turk. He knew she was just upset that he'd d'cided ta work fer ShinRa, but it didn't change the fact that she'd insulted 'im. An' there was a time when he was proud. There was a time when stuff like that could hurt 'im.

It'd be safe ta say that with those words, she set 'im on the path to becomin' what 'e is now. Be safer ta say he did it 'imself. Diff'rence is, he did it by fallin' in love.

Problem with that bein' that the one he fell in love with was a woman o' science. But that was after. After, well…

"Valentine. I'm afraid we have some…rather _bad_ news for you."

"Sir?"

"It's your father, Vincent," one o' the receptionists said.

"My…father?"

"Yes. I'm afraid there was an…accident."

"An accident, sir?"

"He's dead, Valentine. A lab accident."

"Accident…what happened?"

"I'm afraid we cannot disclose that information. Simply know that we offer our condolences. He will be greatly missed. He was as good a man as he was a scientist."

"Th-thank you, sir."

"Wait…just a moment, Valentine."

"Yes, sir?"

"Your…mother, Vincent…"

"Sir?"

"I'm afraid she…didn't take the news very well."

"May I…see her?"

"I'm afraid she's in no condition to see anyone."

"I don't understand, sir."

"She…she killed herself, Vincent."

"What?"

"We're very sorry." We. We're sorry. Never "I'm sorry" or "is there anything I can do?" or even "We feel for ya, man." Just a cold, impersonal, indifferent "we're sorry." ShinRa bastard. An' ta think I worked fer 'im later. Happily, fer a while. Fuckin' bastards. I fuckin' hate 'em. All of 'em. Every last one.

Two years after that, Vince was called inat th'office again.

"Valentine."

"Sir?"

His loyalty hadn't wavered. He was still a lapdog o' the Company, an' that's all there is ta that. He's ashamed of it now, even though I tell 'im 'e shouldn't be. He jus' calls it another one o' his sins that'll "never" be forgiven. But the point is, he was still gonna do whatever they said, still gonna follow orders without questionin' it.

"Your new orders."

"Yes, sir."

He handed Vince a file. _Administrative_ _Research, Manufacturing. ShinRa Electric Power Company._ "You will have full responsibility for the safety of one Dr. Lucrecia Crescent for an indefinite amount of time."

"Y-yes sir."

"Something wrong, Valentine?"

"N-no sir."

"Are you…quite sure?"

"Yes, sir. It's just been a hectic day, sir."

"Very good. Meet her in the lab at once."

"Sir."

Vince headed down ta the lab, thinkin'. He knew he recognized the name- it'd just taken 'im a second ta figure out where he'd heard it. But then 'e remembered- she'd worked with 'is father years ago.

"_Something about the moon…Luna? No, that's not it. Uh…moon…crescent….that's it! Lucrecia. Lucrecia Crescent!"_

But Vince decided t'let sleepin' dogs lie. Why? It might've interfered with 'is work if he asked 'er about Grimoire. So he decided ta keep it a secret that he knew she'd known 'im, maybe even been there fer that accident. So he pretended ta know nothin' when he met her. When he met 'er, an' she said…

"Why…would they send his…" He pretended t'have no clue what she was talkin' about. He pretended he'd never heard 'er name before he was told by the Pres ta go meet her that day.

"Although," he says, "to be completely honest, I may not have been able to remember if I'd tried. As I said, there was no one after Calais, and I never considered him a first love, only…a friend. Lucrecia," it kills me how 'e says 'er name. It still hurts 'im so much, even though she says she's happy now. "Lucrecia was different. I was charmed at first sight, and the love came later. But…that's all we'll discuss while we're here.

* * *

He stops talkin', an' I realize that his head's on ma chest, an' I've been runnin' a hand through 'is hair. I dunno how long we've been like this, but he ain't stoppin' me. I'm layin' kinda parallel ta the water- I'mma call it water e'en though I know it ain't- an' his feet are 'bout at the edge of it. He makes a kind o' bridge fer whatever might be in here that don't wanna walk on the ground.

He turns 'is head an' looks at me, an' I stop pettin' 'is hair. I've been propped up on one arm an' goin' through 'is hair with th'other, but now I take the one I been layin' on an' wrap both arms 'round 'im, so that they're layin' on 'is chest. It's a bit of a reach, but what the hell. He scoots a little farther up, a little closer t'me, that is, an' it's more comf'table. He looks at me again. After a minute, one o' his hands moves up an' closes over both o' mine, an' he closes 'is eyes.

It's quiet again, but that's alright. That's just fine. Quiet belongs ta this place, belongs ta _now._


	10. Fattened Up and a Missed Opportunity

And here we have flashbacks, some fluff, Yuffie, bold Vincent who soon gives way to pissed Vincent, Cid being a big fat dumbass, and…ooh! I managed to make the most awkward point in the past coincide with awkward parts of the present! Hooray for me. There's also severe overanalysis of Cid's jacket, and I need to get rid of Jesse because he distracts me. So does Jezebel, for that matter, but more often than not, she's "helping me" type this anyway, with her caps-lock loving paws.

Sorry it's been so long! I decided I had to wait at least until Saturday, then the site crapped out, so...well, here it is! I'm home! We got here at 3:37 a.m., and I went to sleep and woke up at 3:15 p.m. As I was working on this while traveling (hooray for cigarette lighter adapters), pieces of my little excursion can be found in authors notes across the next few chapters. I'll start you off with a bit now (this chapter was done before I left, and I'm just now adding this at...4:49 p.m. 2-25-09). We locked ourselves out of the van not five minutes after leaving home. Wouldn't have been so bad if we'd left at a civilized hour rather than 5 a.m., when my entire town is still asleep, except the gas stations. So what did we do? Well, we were borrowing the van from my uncle because our cars weren't up to the trip. He was on vacation out of state in his RV. He had an extra set of keys at the house. So, we called him at 5 a.m. on his vacation to see if one of his buddies had the key to the house and could pick up the car keys and bring them to us. We sat there for two hours waiting for the guy. Fun, fun, fun. We then commenced our 11-hour journey.

Thanks to **Chibi Koun, BMIK, ShadowChild Of Death, darkbloodymoon, BlackCoat, Solo-Strifer, robertmarilyn, Phosphate-Blues, The Double-Faced Muse, Product Of A Sick Society,** **MadzCheesyfied, Valitiel, **and **HinoYashaKitsu.**

Anon. replies are at the bottom.

* * *

If wakin' up knowin' Vince is in the house is incentive ta get up in the mornin', wakin' up with 'im next ta me like this is incentive ta stay in bed.

Layin' here makes me run through it all again in ma head, how we got here, how nice it'd be ta wake up ta this ev'ry day.

* * *

_After I dunno how long, he squeezes ma hands. I know what it means, 'cause…well, I just do. I let go, an' he stands up. "Let's go."_

_The ride back's pretty quiet, but it's still okay. Dinner's quiet, too, an' that's when I start ta get uncomf'table again. _

_He goes ta bed early, an' I spend a few hours thinkin' back on what 'e's been tellin' me, an' jus' relaxin', thinkin' a little on my own, ' bout the rocket an' Shera, an' then 'bout seein' the stars with Vince a couple weeks back. When I get ta that point, I decide it's time ta go ta bed._

_I go up, an' have a hard time gettin' ta sleep. _

_I think I've been tryin' ta go ta sleep fer 'bout an hour, an' now I hear…I hear what I used ta hear, when I'd get up at whatever hour it was ta wake 'im up. I guess really all those other times, I was wakin' 'im from one nightmare to another. Not anymore. His livin' nightmare's over, an' I'll be damned if I'm gonna let 'em get 'im in 'is sleep. _

_So I do what I've always done- I go in there ta wake 'im up._

"_Vince?"_

_He's still shakin', an' lettin' out those…I dunno what they are. They ain't screams exactly, but they ain't insignif'cant moans either. They're quiet, but…I c'n hear 'em, an' they…they fuckin' break ma heart. _

_I sit down next to 'im on the bed. "Vince…"_

_I shake 'im, but he only tosses 'is head so that he's facin' me. Lookin' at me, I realize. Or….through me, I guess, 'cause he's still sleepin'. His eyes are open, but he ain't awake. His eyes…they're so sad in the dark. _

"_Your…own-"_

_Huh? "Vince!"_

_He don't wake up. As I see it, I got two options- one, leave 'im alone an' go back ta sleep, which I know I can't do without hatin' maself an' tossin' an' turnin' all night, or two, smack 'im awake, since he ain't wakin' up fer nothin' else._

_Option two it is. _

_He jerks awake._

"…_Cid?"_

"_Yeah, s'me."_

"_Why did you…it was happening again?"_

"_Yeah. Y'alright?"_

_He scoots over, an' I slide in next to 'im._

"_Y'aint wearin' a shirt."_

"_I was hot."_

"_Yeah, th'a/c c'n be pretty stupid." I lean up against th'headboard an' pull 'im against me. He lets me, an' he also lets me wrap both m'arms 'round 'is shoulders._

_It's quiet fer a long time, b'fore he says, "Stay?"_

"_Y'know I will." Y'know ya don't hafta ask. Y'know I want to. Y'know there ain't no place I c'n think of I'd rather be right now. _

_He doesn't thank me, just accepts it. I think I like this better. _

_I hold 'im 'til 'e stops shakin', an' then I slide down so we're both layin' on the pillows._

"'_Night."_

"_Don't…" he starts in a whisper. He trails off, but I know what he wants ta say. _"Don't let me go." _Well, I ain't lettin' go. It'd take another fuckin' apocalyptical phenomenon t'get me ta let go. An' then, ya know what? I might still hold on._

_I wanna tell 'im that I ain't gonna let 'im go, but I know it'd just embarrass 'im that he thought about askin' somethin' like that. But I c'n hold 'im, he wants me ta hold 'im, an' that's what I plan ta do. With ma whole fuckin' life, if that's what 'e wants. _

…_I'm so fuckin' screwed!_

_

* * *

_

Now, layin' here, bein' close an' knowin' he wants me close, knowin' that as long as he's asleep I can stay like this, it's impossible fer me ta keep maself a healthy distance away from 'im.

I scoot a little closer so ma nose is touchin' his, an' I close m'eyes fer a second. When I open 'em, he's awake an' watchin' me.

Fuck.

He moves closer, too, an' my nose is suddenly nuzzlin' 'is cheek, an' his eyes're still watchin' me.

My turn. Fuck.

I know what I want, that's fer sure. An' I know what he's actin' like he wants. I dunno what he needs. I dunno if we're ready fer what I want. I guess what I mean is, I dunno if _I'm_ ready. There ain't a "we." Not really.

I put a hand on 'is waist. He smiles. He's so close I c'n _feel_ 'im smile.

Damn it! That counts as a move fer him. Ain't gonna cut it fer me, though.

What's ma next move? I dunno. I don't fuckin' know.

"Vince-"

Shit. Wrong move, I guess. He's up now, an' gettin' dressed.

"Fuck."

He glares at me an' walks out. Fuck_ fuck_ _**fuck**_! Damn it!

An' I think I know 'im so damn well.

I try ta go back ta sleep, but it's impossible between thinkin' bout 'im in nothin' but 'is black boxers, layin' here next to me, damn near beggin' ta be kissed, an' thinkin' 'bout how I managed to fuck up even that.

So after broodin' fer a while, I get up an' d'cide ta start the day with coffee an' cigarettes. Ain't in a tea mood right now, funny as that is. I know it's supposed ta calm the nerves an' ease tension an' all…but once again, I w_ant_ to wallow in self-pity an' shit. I think I have the right ta do that ev'ry so often.

But do I get peace in ma kitchen? 'Course not. Vince is in there, readin' _As You Like It._ Never could get through Shakespeare, m'self.

"Why ya readin' that?" There goes ma wallowin'. Hadda talk to'im, dincha Cid? Can't even let yerself brood in peace…

"I happen to like it."

"Eh."

"One of the characters reminds me quite a bit of you."

Why? Is he constantly chasin' somethin' fuckin' impossible? His dreams always come crashin' down 'round 'is ears? Or, rather, tip over an' ever-so-gently, ever-so-slowly fall, breakin' 'is heart the whole time an' remindin' every second of 'is life 'im that effort is wasted on beautiful things? That for ev'ry vict'ry he thinks he's won, he has ta take two steps back?

Fuck…now I'm startin'a angst like him, too. Stupid emo-vamp influence.

"Oh yeah? Why's that?"

"He's very crude and vulgar, and when confronted with a real situation, he slinks away from it."

"That ain't-"

"You're right. I'm sorry." He does look sorry, but…he has a point, too, I guess. From his point o' view…that's exactly what I did. Prob'ly the only reason 'e apologized is 'cause 'e hates insultin' people.

"Me, too. Jus'…I dunno."

"Let's save this for later, shall we? Shelke wants to visit for lunch. Do you mind?"

"Not at all." Yes, I mind. Thinks she can make a move on you, little stuck-in-a-ten-year-old's-body freak. An' ya know, th'only reason I think she's a freak is 'cause she spends all 'er time in that damn creepy-ass mansion.

"I'm sure she'll call back, then."

"Why don't you call her?"

"Meh."

…D'he just "meh"?

"Y'sure we didn't swap personalities or some shit overnight?"

"Quite sure. _You _wouldn't be reading Shakespeare."

"True."

I look at the clock. It's only ten. "I'm gonna go visit Jess. Hey, did I tell ya he asked me ta be godfather?"

"I don't even know what you're talking about."

"Oh yeah, huh? Hey, wanna come with? I been promisin' Danni I'd visit fer like, three months. But, ya know, shit happened."

"It certainly did."

"So ya comin'? Jess already said 'e wants ta meetcha."

"I don't see why not."

He puts down the book an' goes ta stand in the doorway. "Though you may want to think about getting dressed before you leave, as ap…"he trails off, shakin' 'is head an' lookin' a little confused.

As…appealin'…? as me in nothin' but boxers is? Is that what 'e was gonna say? Damn, can't tell no more.

Well, I get dressed, an' jus' ta spite 'im, I pick out light colors an' tight material. An' then, jus' ta top it off, I decide it's time ta wear my jacket instead o' tyin' it aroun' ma waist.

After all, ta me, it's always sorta symbolized chasin' the stars, y'know? I wore it when I worked in the ShinRa space program efforts, I wore it when Rufus took over an' I thought there was a shot of me gettin' ta try again, I wore it when we were Sephiroth-huntin' 'cause I was doin' somethin' with m'self other'n sittin' aroun' doin' nothin'. So it's only right I wear it now, 'cause I'm chasin' dreams again.

T'be perfec'ly honest, I dunno which one's more distant, the stars or Vince.

Well, I don't get the reaction I wanted when I go downstairs. Which is ta say, I don't get any reaction. I dunno what I _wanted _exactly, but I was hopin' fer somethin'.

So I'm dressed like that, an' it's fuckin' hot. Jess' eyes jus' 'bout bug out when he sees us, whether it's cause Vince is wearin' his dumb old cape an' claw an' shoes again or 'cause I'm dressed the way I was when I found the kid.

Heh. I'll have ta tell Vince about that one later. He might enjoy it.

"Cap'n?"

"Hey there. This is Vin-"

"Vincent Valentine, yeah, I know. You never shut up about 'im. Nice ta meet you, sir."

Vince just does that half-assed noddin' thing where 'e forgets ta bring his head back up.

"Danni, the Cap'n's here! An' he brought his, um, friend."

"Boy, if ya don't wipe that fuckin' smirk off yer face I'mma do it for ya."

"Aw, c'mon, Cap'n!"

"Pfft."

"Cid? Oh, you're so sweet! I can't- we'll never be able to thank you enough. And thank you so much for accepting. Jess wouldn't've wanted anyone else, and I can't honestly say that I'd want anyone else, either."

"Hey, it ain't no problem, babe." I pat 'er back, an' the stupid kid she's married to smiles like a fool.

"So hey, Cap, you're all over my wife. Do I get to hug your boy here or what?"

"Lay a hand on 'im an'- sorry, Vince. S'up ta you, I guess."

"Hey, you all oughta know I'm just kidding by now…"

"Yeah, well, that don't change the fact that…" I shut up, 'cause…well, I don't have a clue where I was goin'.

"What fact, Cap'n?"

"Yes, Chief. Enlighten us."

Danni claps her hands an' looks from one guy t'the other.

Well, fuck. It's a conspiracy. They're all gangin' up on me. Best part is, I still dunno what I was gonna say…

Got it. "Well, it don't change the fact that he ain't mine, so it don't matter what I think."

That's either gonna win this round fer me, or it's gonna get me my ass kicked later.

Judgin' by the sorta hurt glare I'm gettin'…I think I prob'ly oughta watch my ass.

"Vince."

He looks at me, an' I swear it's like watchin' a cat's ears perk up. Well, shit. Now I dunno what I'm gonna say. Again.

"Hey, you guys stayin' for lunch?" And now I'm glad I picked the damn kid up that time.

"Nah, we were jus' gonna hang here fer a while. But we got a guest comin' fer lunch, so we prob'ly oughta get back. Thanks fer th'offer, though. I really jus' wanted t'introduce ya ta Vince."

"Alright, Captain. You take care. I'll let you know as soon as we find out the sex, okay?"

"You do that, hon. Jess…congratulations. Well, ta both o' ya."

"See ya, Cap."

"Yeah. C'mon, Vince."

It sorta cuts me ta the bone that 'e walks on th'other side o' the street the whole way back.

Shelke's already there when we get back. Damn kid must have strange opinions 'bout when it's lunchtime, 'cause it's barely ten-thirty. We were really only gone fer twenty minutes. Shortest visit ta Jesse's I c'n remember ever havin'.

An' suddenly, he don't seem like such a pain in the ass. I just saw a real one sittin' on ma porch. Peekin' inta ma window, actually.

"What th'fuck're ya doin' here, ya damn ninja?" I don't say it loud enough fer her ta hear, but Vince an' Shelke both look at me, so th'effort wasn't wasted after all.

Heh. Wouldja look at that? I got a nineteen-year-old trapped in a ten year old's body an' a ten-year-old trapped in a seventeen-year-old's body.

…Acutally, she don't look much more'n twelve, now that I'm thinkin' 'bout it…point is, they're backwards.

"Hey! Git th'fuck off ma porch if y'ain't invited ta lunch!"

Nobody moves, not even the cat.

"Vince!"

It hurts ta watch as Yuffie glomp-tackles Vincent. I say it hurts, 'cause I can hear all the breath go outta 'im in a stunned "whoomph" as she hits 'im full force.

He don't hug back. Never seen 'im hug anyone back.

She lets go of 'im. "You."

"Yeah, me. As if ya didn't know I'd be here."

She sticks 'er tongue out at me before she steps forward a little bit.

"What? Huggin' me too now, eh? Well, c'mon, b'fore I change ma mind."

She squeals an' launches 'erself at me. I hug back, but only fer a second. Am I really that huggable?

"Vincent Valentine."

"Hm."

He shakes her hand, asks 'er how she's doin', blah, blah, blah.

"Hey! Anybody else realize we're still standing outside? C'mon, Cid, let us in!"

"Alright, alright! Move it, yeh damn cat!"

"Mrow?"

"Yeah, ya c'n come in. Whatever. Don't give a flyin' fuck."

"Uh, Vince?"

"Hm?"

"Why're you staying with him? He's all…grumpy and stuff."

"Why does it concern you?"

"Heeeey, no fair! First I worry myself sick about you, and then you come back and you leave and I've been taking care of Shelke since you just _left _her, and-"

"Hey, that's enough, Yuf."

"Wha- ohhh, I'm gonna get both of you!"

As I finally get the damned door open, I let the girls walk in first, an' I see Vince mouth "thank you" over Shelke's head. I jus' nod, 'cause I don't feel much like sayin' anything.

"A'right. We got chicken salad, we got tuna, we got leftover pizza. Take yer pick an' help yerselves. I ain't servin' ya an' neither is Vince."

I don't pay too much attention durin' lunch. Basically, Vince asks about Shelke's research, they talk fer a minute about Lucrecia, an' Yuffie butts inta the conversation at random moments. I crack dirty jokes whenever there's an opening, make fun o' all of 'em when I get the chance, an' that goes on fer another two hours.

By the time they leave, it's a normal luch hour. Go figure.

Except…they take Vince with 'em.

"We're going on a guided tour of the rocket site! C'mon, don't you guys wanna come?"

Well, we've all already been in it. We've obviously seen the site…an' I've seen enough of all ot it ta last a lifetime.

"Y'all go on ahead. Vince, if you wanna…I'm gonna go talk ta Robbins. He seems ta think he wants ta quit."

"…I'll go."

"Yay! C'mon, let's go!"

Crazy kid's gone on that stupid, phony tour every time she's come near the town.

I have ta drive ta Robbins'. I get there in 'bout quarter of an hour, an' he ain't there. I walk aroun' the house an' check the shed, just, ya know, in case. He ain't anywhere.

I'd hate ta think of 'im…but he mighta. At least, I can't see 'im jus' runnin' away.

So I head back over ta Jesse's, hopin' he knows somethin'.

"Hey, Cap'n…twice in one day? What's wrong?"

"Just went ta see Robbins. He ain't there."

"Well, accourse not!"

"Huh?"

"He ran off ta Edge, hopin' for a new job with one o' them advertisin' companies."

"Oh."

"Hey, where's your boy?"

"Out with the girls."

"Shera came back?"

"Nah, Yuffie an' Shelke. 'Member me tellin' y'about them?"

"Yeah, sure do. Hey, you alright?"

"Just havin' some issues with Vince."

"He's holdin' out on ya, huh?"

"Hell, no! Y'know what? I love ya, kid, but I can't talk about this. Hope ya don't mind."

"Not at all. Sorry I can't help. Good luck, Cap."

"Yessir."

"Hey, Cid?"

"Yeah?"

"I miss you, ya know?"

"Yeah, me too. But yer better off like this than followin' me around all day."

"Yeah, I guess. But we oughta hang out soon. All four of us, if things work out with you two."

"Y'better make it five. Y'don't know how bad I'd feel leavin' Shera out."

"Six, then, soon."

"Yeah. I'm real happy fer ya, but it ain't that soon. 'Member that. Eight months still. That c'n take f'rever." I would know. I recently spent a week that lasted forever.

"Yeah, okay. But it'll be here before I know it, I know that much. Before I'm ready."

"An' I ain't got no fatherly-big-brotherly advice ta pass on, 'cause kids ain't ma thing. Sorry."

"It'll be alright." He smiles. "_We'll_ be alright. Don't worry 'bout us. I guess I'll finish out the year, an' then I'll be able ta have our first months together off."

"Sounds like a plan. I'm gonna get. Y'realize this is twice in one day y'haven't invited me in?"

"I asked if you were staying for lunch earlier."

"Yeah, but ya let us stand there fer a while first."

"You got me. I'm not technically allowed to have guests until I finish cleanin' the livin' room. I'll see ya, Cap'n. I gotta get back ta work."

"See ya, kid."

It's still early. I don't wanna go home. I left the door unlocked, knowin' there was a good chance the others'd get home b'fore I was done with Robbins. So I decide to take advantage o' ma day.

I go sit up on the roof o' the hangar fer a while. Couple hours, actually. That's a nap, in fact. S'a good thing I didn't roll off, y'know?

After that, I go to a movie without even botherin' ta see if the others are back an' might wanna come.

It's a crap movie, s'posed ta be action…but when ya been in war, seen the real thing, jus' the movin' pictures an' shitty cliché dialogue ain't nothin' to ya.

The movie's pretty long, too. It's almost eight when I get out, an' I spoil maself one more spoil- I eat dinner out. By maself, wearin' m'old jacket like I used ta. Needless ta say, I attract a bit of attention, an' I end up havin' dessert an' chattin' with Lizzie 'n' Flo fer two hours.

It's dark when I get home. The house is dark, too. I go inside an' shower, an' I honestly forget fer a second that Vince should be here somewhere.

After I shower an' put on ma pj's, it occurs ta me that bein' drug aroun' ba Yuffie all day is bound ta wear a man out.

I check the room Vince is stayin' in, an' he's in there, all right, sleepin' peacefully.

What the hell, I'm already in here. I walk ta the bed an' lean over it. It takes me a second ta talk maself inta doin' it, but I kiss 'im on the cheek an' push back a lock o' hair, like somebody in cheap cheesy fairy tale romance movie.

As I'm pullin' away from the kiss, if y'c'n call it that, I notice his eyes are open. I stare into 'em fer a secon', then pull ma head back, away from him.

I walk out, an' as I close the door, I see 'im bring one hand up ta touch his face where ma lips were.

I go to bed, hopin' ta get a decent night's sleep. I'm sure now he won't have nightmares. I dunno how, I'm just sure.

The door opens a few minutes later, an' I'm sure it's him. S'gotta be him. Maybe he's comin' ta…

No, it's just Shera's fuckin' cat.

Stupid thing jumps on the bed an' curls up next t'ma face. Ain't they s'posed ta be nocturnal? Whatever. I ain't gonna push it off, 'cause it's actually kinda nice, havin' it layin' there an' purrin'...

I wake up the next mornin', after a really good sleep. People always flip out when they figure out I'm an early sleeper an' a late riser. I dunno why.

Anyhow, the cat's on the table in the kitchen, an' that's not gonna fly here.

"Vince, yer pet's on my table."

"Not." Uh-oh. Return o' the one-syllable answers.

"Yeah, I know it aintchers but it likes you, you like it, c'n ya get it off my fuckin' table?" Hey, if he's gonna go all quiet-anti-social-old-Vince on me, I'm gonna cuss at him. Kinda already feel bad, though…

"No."

…Did I do this? Sure hope not.

"Fine, I'll get it. 'ey, cat, c'mere."

"Mroe?"

"Yeah. Yeah, mroe, whatever that means."

I don't really wanna pick it up…don't have a problem lettin' it jump on me or sleep on ma pilla. But if I pick it up, it's like I'm invitin' it ta…guess I did that when I let it back inside. Oh well.

I pick the stupid thing up an' it starts purrin' right away. Just fer spite, I drop it in Vince's lap.

"Cid." It actually makes me cringe. Sounds like when yer a kid an' yer, I dunno, chattin' up the girls in back o' the classroom, an' the teacher catches ya. Teacher only has to call yer name in that certain tone, an' ya feel totally ashamed o' yerself fer whatever it was y'were doin'. Vince coulda been a teacher, lemme tell ya.

"Arright, arright, I'm sorry. Sheesh, woke up on the wrong side o' the bed today, huh?"

"Go."

Shit! "Damn it, Vince, quit doin' that."

"Why?"

"'Cause it's fuckin' annoyin'. Plus it's rude." An' it hurts. I just can't get it right, can I?

"Whatever."

He's actin' like a child. Never thought I'd be able ta say that about him. I don't feel like sittin' here an' not-talkin' to 'im, so I take ma coffee outside with me.

When I come back in, he's sittin' on the couch. Way I look at it, I got me two options. One, I c'n ignore 'im an' wait fer him ta come around, or two, I can get up ma courage an' confront 'im now. What was it he said earlier? That I slink away from things? Well, not this time. Nossir. I'm goin' after 'im.

But when I sit down next to 'im, he looks at me an' says, "Laisse-moi tranquille."

Well, I dunno what the fuck that means, but I know the look well enough. It means go away, I don't feel like talkin' ta you, m'angstin' right now, come back later, an' all those other things. So it's safe to assume he just told me ta get the fuck away from 'im. But I guess he woulda been more polite than that.

So I leave. I don't feel like hangin' out with the guys, I don't wanna see another movie- only so much o' that ya can do on yer own b'fore it gets old- an' I can't really think of anything else ta do but work.

I'm workin' on duplicatin' the _Shera_'s engine. Slow work when ya can't take apart the one yer studyin'. But I figure it'll be worth it, 'cause if I c'n figure out how she runs an' produce the same kinds of engines…well, I'll own the cuttin' edge technology, an' I c'n bribe Reeve to start a space program. Yup.

I always lose track o' time when I'm workin'. So much, actually, that by the time I realize I'm hungry, it's almost two an' I ain't smoked a single cig, even though I have in ma pocket. 'Course, smokin' ain't the smartest thing ta do 'round engines 'n' oil 'n' shit, but I figured I'd need 'em, the day bein' the way it is. Guess not.

I grab lunch from a new little restaurant in the strip mall on the corner. It's not half bad, an' when I accidentally work right up through eight o' clock (with almost no progress), I get dinner from the same place.

I decide it's too late t'go back ta work, an' it's pretty damn hard in the dark anyway, even if the buildin's lit up. Plus, Shera ain't here t'help me. Be damned if I ever tell 'er how much I'm missin' 'er right now. 'Cause other'n helpin' me with this little project, she'd be another person in the house. Take the pressure off a little. She oughta be back soon, though. Couple more days at the most.

When I get back, Vince is sittin' on the back porch, longways on the bench I made when I was eight. When he sees me, he starts ta move over, but I shake ma head at 'im an' grab a chair from the patio table. I turn it so when I sit backwards in it, like I am, I'm facin' the same way he is.

I don't say nothin'. Got nothin' to say. But I guess I don't hafta say anything. He's got it covered.

"Can…I…have a cigarette?"

"Jus' a sec'." Not gonna let 'im know I'm tryin' not ta laugh, not gonna ask 'im why, jus' gonna go in ma pocket an'- there.

"C'n I lightcha up?"

He nods, and I hand 'im the cig an' then lean over t'light it. He's holdin' close to 'is mouth, in 'is mouth, really, but still holdin' it, ya know, an' it feels…intimate, I guess, bein' able to do this for 'im.

It's also fuckin' creepy. The way the lighter makes 'is face look reminds me o' when I was a kid an' we'd put flashlights under our faces while we told ghost stories. Only, it was never really scary then. Now it's like a fuckin' horror movie monster come ta life.

The light flicks off, an' I hold ma breath fer some reason as I watch 'im take a drag an' exhale. He don't smoke like it's 'is first one, that's fer sure.

"I haven't done that in a while."

"Used ta smoke?"

"Not these."

I wanna ask if he means the brand or what, but now ain't the time an' I know it. I'll ask later.

It's quiet another few minutes, b'fore 'e puts out the cig an' closes 'is eyes, lookin' up through a crack in the patio roof.

"Do you know why I wear this?" he asks, raisin' the claw, not lookin' at me.

"'Cause ya like it? 'Cause it makes people wonder why ye're wearin' a claw?"

"Not quite."

He gets quiet again, an' somethin' hits me.

"We're there, ain't we?"

"Hm?"

"Ya said there'd be point I might wanna kick y'out. This it?"

"Yes, I suppose it is."

"Well, y'ain't goin' nowhere."

"Don't say that just yet."

"What, you wanna leave?"

"…No."

"Then y'ain't goin' nowhere."

"You can't say that ye-"

"Vince, what the fuck couldja possibly tell me that'd make me wanna get rid o' ya?"

"Sephiroth was my son."

Well, that's a kick in the gut, alright. Not enough, though. Nope, not enough fer me ta hate 'im or want 'im gone or any o' that.

"So what's that hafta do with the claw?"

Now he looks at me. "I just told you that the man who tried to take over the world -more than once- is my son and you ask about the claw? You're unbelievable." That's all he says, but under that, I c'n hear the "thank you" he's too shy (or somethin') ta say.

"What else would I've said?"

"'Get out of my house, now'."

"Well, you started with the claw. I figure it's gotta be important or ya wouldn't'a' brought it up."

"It is. But I've gotten ahead of myself. You recall that I referred to ShinRa as a gingerbread house- it was, for a time. But then the time came that I got too comfortable, and the witch saw that Gretel and I had been sufficiently fattened up, so to speak."

* * *

He said he knew he was in love with Lucrecia when she found 'im sleepin' in the field. Seems like she knew already he was out there relaxin', 'cause she brought a picnic basket an' a bottle o' wine.

They'd left Midgar for Nibelheim almost two weeks after he was assigned to protect her. All the experiments were done in the ShinRa manor, outta the way o' the main labs. Unfortunately…the Nibelheim labs were less restrictin'. No one there t'monitor 'em.

"I think you're in my seat." Those were the words that stole 'is heart. S'pretty funny, but it's sad, too. When ya fall fer somethin' like that, ya fall hard, 'cause it's simple an' honest, an' that's the most dangerous kind o' love, 'cause ya let down yer guard. Ain't no reason t'keep it up.

They shared the bottle o' wine an' their first kiss at that picnic. They'd been gettin' closer over the two years he'd been workin' with 'er, an' it was obvious on both ends that somethin' was there, but that sealed the deal. He says it was his first unrushed kiss, the first one he initiated. An' he says that felt good, havin' the choice.

I wish so much that I coulda been there ta warn 'im. To tell 'im, and her, that they oughta get out now, b'fore the shit hits the fan. But it's too late, o' course. An' that would mean, I guess, that any chance I might have with Vince never woulda happened, but…I could live with that, if it stopped…all this shit. If it woulda stopped 'im from bein' hurt like 'e was, stopped Hojo somehow, maybe. Yeah, I'd give it up if I got the chance.

It was another year or so –that woulda made 'im 26- b'fore they, like, hooked up. She was goin' on 29, an' hadn't ever been with a man before. He don't go inta much detail, but she cried an' he didn't leave 'er all night. It was a couple months later he popped the question.

They'd started, uh, bein' intimate on a regular basis, an' they were def'nit'ly in love. He was always there, she was always there, but…in the end, science came first.

"Lucrecia?" he asked, as they walked through Nibelheim.

"Yes, Vincent?"

"There's something I want to ask you."

"What might that be, now?"

He thought about droppin' t'one knee in the traditional way, but instead he just opened the box –not a diamond, but her birthstone, peridot- an' asked 'er t'marry 'im.

"Oh…" was all she said before shakin' 'er head an' runnin' away.

Vince found out later that she'd told Hojo she was pregnant first, not wantin' t'upset the man she loved. Hojo'd managed t'talk 'er inta believin' that Vincent wouldn't ever want her, would never consider raisin' a child with 'er, an' that the child was better off servin' as a test subject for Hojo's new design.

She'd believed him only 'cause she wanted so badly not to, wanted so much ta believe in Vince that she just knew it was too good t'be true. So when, two weeks later, Vince handed 'er the ring, she was devastated, disgusted with 'erself. She'd run away from him an' been found by The Bastard.

He started talkin' to 'er again right away- tellin' 'er that Vince only wanted 'er 'cause he didn't know about the baby, that he'd overheard Vince talkin' t'Verdot, sayin' how much he hated kids and hoped he never had any.

That's a fuckin' lie. You'd think she woulda known that. Prob'ly she did, but sometimes things like that are hardest, 'cause they seem too good t'be true.

Either way, Hojo figured out the only way he'd be able t'keep 'er from changin' 'er mind was t'offer t'marry 'er himself. So he set about wooin' 'er by way o' compliments an' science.

Sad t'say, it worked, but only 'cause Vince was "once bitten, twice shy." He hadn't talked to 'er any more than was necessary after the ring incident, an' neither of 'em had brought up the thing.

Hell, they'd even had sex again after that! They just didn't stick around after. You'd think maybe that woulda made 'em realize they needed each other. Guess not.

Couple weeks after proposin', Vince saw 'er kissin' Hojo, an' he said, "If she is happy, then I don't mind."

If she'd heard that, maybe…but she didn't. It was about a month after that when the shit hit the fan, as I like t'think of it.

"I'm against it!"

"It doesn't matter what you think, boy."

"Lucrecia! Your own child?"

"Stay out of this, Vincent. It's not for you to decide. You're complicating things."

It didn't help that later, he found files on Lucrecia's computer that had information 'bout Grimoire. He didn't find out then how 'is father'd died; that come later.

So they went on with it, an' the next time Vince tried t'intervene…they killed 'im. Well, Lucrecia didn't know, not 'til later, but The Bastard killed 'im. Shot 'im in the stomach, then experimented.

When Vince woke up, he was barely alive, an' when he lifted his hand, he saw fur. He screamed, an' then fell back to the brink o' death, but not before sayin' "This body…is the punishment for my sins."

He died, but Lucrecia came in an' found 'im like that, an' decided he couldn't die, even if…even if they couldn't ever be together. She stored 'im in a mako tube fer a a while, tryin' t'preserve 'im while she figured out what t'do.

It was while he was in the tube that she explained to 'im about Grimoire, how he'd died protectin' 'er, how he hadn't really died, just been consumed by a physical darkness. We met 'im later. Much later.

She prob'ly coulda done it different. That's why she's always sorry. 'Cause, she injected 'im with what she knew would cause Chaos t'possess 'im. There are prob'ly millions of other ways she coulda saved 'im, but her love fer science, her greed fer knowledge- they led her to destroy 'im even more. Or maybe she just thought Chaos would keep the others from emergin'. Either way, she was wrong fer what she did, an' I stand by that.

When he was there, he wasn't dead, but he wasn't alive. He could see and hear things, even with 'is eyes closed, 'cause his brain was goin' overtime, but he couldn't react. He worried 'cause the pains Lucrecia was havin' weren't normal. But then, hers wasn't a normal pregnancy.

Then Hojo came in an' called Vince an experiment of Lucrecia's, sayin' that even though Hojo failed, Lucrecia might be able to salvage him. She'd denied it, but later she came to realize that's exactly what it was. She'd turned the man she claimed to love, the man she did love, inta a fuckin' science project. She hadn't realized until then, prob'ly 'cause she just didn't want to.

If love is blind, so is the pursuit of knowledge. So is greed, an' so is lust fer power. An' out of all o' those, love just might be the most dangerous one.

Realizin' that made 'er try ta kill 'erself. She couldn't die, 'cause she'd been infected with Jenova cells. They kept 'er alive, so she decided to come up with another solution.

Until then, she told 'erself that she was doin' this fer Vince. I guess the fact that she didn't stick around to bask in the glory of 'er success proves she loved 'im. She sealed 'erself away b'fore she could even tell if 'e was gonna make it.

Or maybe that just makes 'er a coward- not wantin' ta be blamed fer failin' an' watchin' 'im die, not wantin' t'have ta face 'im if 'e woke up.

He did wake up, an' she was gone. All he could find of 'er at the time was a small packet on the successful birth of her baby- a boy. They'd given him the name Sephiroth, an' taken 'im ta Midgar. They'd packed up almost everythin' when they moved, but there was no record of Lucrecia bein' with 'em.

He couldn't find anythin' else, so he gave up. Goin' ta Midgar fer answers was out o' reach, 'cause they'd outnumber 'im somethin' awful, an' he was prob'ly on a wanted list or somethin' by that point.

All that added to the knowledge that he'd failed, that the experiment he'd died trying to stop had happened anyway, was too much. He tried t'kill 'imself, too, but o' course he couldn't die, either. I wonder if that was her original plan, fer the three of 'em t'live together after she had the baby. Things just don't always work out.

He got rid of everything that tied 'im to ShinRa, found the coffin, an' went ta sleep, inta his nightmare, his s'posed atonement. He tried ta die in there, too, hopin' that even the demons couldn't live without food 'n' water fer too long. He thought he'd eventually just fade away, that the nightmare would just end. That someday, his atonement would be complete, an' he wouldn't hafta live with 'imself an' 'is failures anymore.

* * *

"Evidently, I was wrong," he says, an' looks away, "and Hansel should not have been the coward he was. Had he burned the witch right away, none of this…" he leaves off, shakin' 'is head.

I get up from ma chair an' perch m'self on the little slice o' bench b'hind 'im, both knees facin' the chair an' arms wrapped around 'im, pinnin' his arms to 'is sides at the elbows. He tenses up, but doesn't fight.

"Vince."

Nothin'.

"Listenin'?"

He nods, an' when I try ta maneuver ma head t'look in 'is eyes, he looks away again. "Alright, I won't look atcha. But listen."

He nods again, but puts 'is head back down when he's done. "Don't blame yerself. Don't you dare."

I take a deep breath an' go on, "Ya done let this build up fer so long, it's time ta let it out now." I don't wanna use the word "cry" an' ruin 'is macho image, but I guess I don't have a choice. "Cry fer Lu, 'cause no one has in a very long time. Cry fer how much she loved you, an' how it all went ta hell. Cry fer Sephiroth, fer what he coulda been, fer what they made him, fer what we did to 'im later. An' damn it Vince, cry fer yerself. Y've had enough pain an' atonement an' loss that you c'n spare a few o' those tears fer yerself. Let 'em out. An' when yer done, you'll know ya made Lu happy, 'cause she won't have ta cry for ya anymore. It'll be done, an' she can be really happy. She can have the peace I know ya want for'er."

That took a good bit outta me…an' I ain't done. "But the second ya start blamin' yerself, the second one o' those tears is an apology ta Sephiroth fer not bein' able ta stop it, ta Lu fer not seein' what she was goin' through, ta the world 'cause you think yer ta blame fer all this, or t'me fer 'makin' me' sit through this, I'm gonna let go of you, an' I'm gonna make you do this on yer own."

"What…makes you so… sure I want you…to stay?" Poor kid, still tryin'a hold it back.

"Well, ya been holdin' onta me since I sat here."

"I have not."

"Look down."

He does, an' I know what he sees- my hands clasped together on 'is chest an' his hands holdin' 'em there, the claw on top o' the uncovered one.

"Oh. Hm." It's a shaky, broken "hm" but a "hm" nonetheless, an' it tells me he's gonna be okay.

"Here, lean back. I gotcha."

"Don't be silly, there's no room. You'll fall."

"Sure there's room. C'mon." I start t'lean back, pullin' him with me, but, well he was right.

There's no room, 'cause I was on the edge as it was, an' when I fall, he comes down with me.

"Shit! Sorry, Vince!"

"It's alright." It is alright, 'cause he's laughin'. Sure, he might be laughin' t'keep 'imself from cryin', but he's laughin' an' that's all that matters t'me right now. I stand up first, 'cause he's still borderin' on hysterics (which is not cool), an' hold out a hand t'help 'im up.

He takes it, with _ow ow ow the claw the claw the claw ignore it don't let go don't let go don't let 'im fall don't say ow oh shit it hurts!_

I finish pullin' 'im up, an' he looks down at our hands, still together. His eyes get huge an' the color drains out of his face. "Cid! Why didn't you let go?"

"An' let you fall?"

"Idiot," he says, an' pulls me in fer a hug. Well, that's a first. I could get used t'this. "I'm so sorry. I don't know why I used…let me clean you up."

"Sure. Ain't laced with poison, huh?"

"No."

He leads me t'the bathroom (could get used t'this) an' pulls out the peroxide.

"Peroxide?"

"No poison, but the wounds are magic resistant. You're…lucky you were wearing gloves. I'll replace them, as I've shredded this one."

"Ah, they're just old work gloves. Was gonna throw 'em out anyway- ow, shit!"

He had just pulled off the glove, an' that hurt like hell. He takes the hand in his hands -he'd taken off the glove as soon as we got inta the bathroom- and turns it over, lookin' at the cuts. They ain't deep, but they're bleedin'.

"They'll probably scar. They aren't deep enough for stitches, and healing with magic would be a waste of energy."

"I don't mind."

The way he looks at me, his eyes say "I do."

"Don't get all blamin' yerself again. It ain't yer fault. But I thought you were done with the claw."

"What do you mean, done?"

"Just…y'ain't been wearin' it, lately."

"I haven't felt the need, with just you here." He looks down, an' I c'n see the red through his eyelashes. I get why people always write romantic crap about that look now. It's fuckin' sexy, even if he's been cryin' an' he's all embarrassed.

"And t'night?"

"…Shame." He lets go o' my hand, an' shake it off. It still stings, but I ain't gonna say that, 'cause it'd make 'im feel worse.

"Tell me."

"Hm?"

"Has somethin' t'do with what you did back then, huh? You're ashamed o'…somethin' else? Tell me."

"It's the same answer as the question you asked earlier that I failed to answer. I didn't mean to dodge the question, forgive me."

"Quit apologizin'. Y'know how much of an ass y'make me out t'be? I hardly ever apologize, an' here you are, apologizin' fer stuff that ain't even yer fault. Just…tell me, please."

"It hides my shame."

"Don't make any sense t'me."

"I was born left-handed. Sephiroth is left-handed, as I discovered when I found the files. I crafted the claw before going to sleep. I wore it to train myself to use only my right hand, as the left would be virtually useless in daily tasks. It was to hide any connection to Sephiroth, from others- I didn't want them to know, and from myself- I failed him, I did not deserve to enjoy a bond with him like this. I had no claim to him, no right to call him my son." He stops fer a second, then, "I didn't want to remember."

Can't say I blame 'im. I wanna say somethin', but he's gone from the room 'fore I can, an' his claw's still here.

I pick it up an' bring it to 'is room, where I find 'im sittin' on 'is bed holdin' Cerberus.

"The hell're ya doin'?"

"Contemplating."

* * *

Thanks for reading and waiting so long! Did you enjoy?


	11. Breadcrumbs for the Birds

Yeah, I'm updating early, even though I didn't break either of the goals. I'm having a crappy day and now I'm indulging in all my little guilty pleasures, namely gorging myself on chocolate and Chinese food, and updating this thing so I may hope for reviews. Review to make my day better? I hear they're good for the flu, which I seem to be getting, on top of my other minor setbacks...

Disclaimer: Don't own the ff7 guys or the KH and assorted FF characters I'll be sneaking in soon...  
Suppose I should warn about spoilers? Yeah, they might happen. And parts of this are straight from the ff7 script, don't own that either.

* * *

"Don't you dare."

"Why shouldn't I?"

"'Cause ya…dammit, Vince, don't you even think it!"

"I'm not…" he trails off, shakin' 'is head but still lookin' at the damn gun.

"What are ya doin', if y'ain't…that."

"I told you, contemplating."

"But what?"

"Nothing. Everything."

"Well, can't ya do it without the gun?"

"Tracing the patterns helps me think. Do you really think I'm capable now of taking my own life?" He's sad when 'e says it, an' I remember how 'e tried so hard t'do just that b'fore, when he'd just heal up on auto. But I don't wanna just come out an' say that yes, yes I do think y're capable now, as much mentally as y'were then, but now physically too. 'Cause that might make 'im consider it. 'Sides, I know it ain't physically he's talkin' about.

"What else was I s'posed ta think? Y'accidentally slice me up a little, y'feel like shit over it an' apologize, run off, an' then I come in here an' see ya sittin' alone with a gun."

"Do I have to insult you again?"

"A'right, I'm an idiot. Okay. I get it. Now will ya put the gun away?"

"I scared you."

"Yeah, ya did, an' it ain't nothin' ta be proud of."

He sighs. It hurts. "I'm not." He puts the gun on top o' the dresser by the bed.

"Like, away-away. In-the-drawer away."

He puts Cerberus in the top drawer an' looks back at me. He smiles a little bit. "You're filthy."

"Well whad'ya expect? I been workin' all day."

"What are you doing?"

I tell 'im bout reproducin' th'engine, an' 'bout ma plan t'get rich.

"Hm."

"Don't think it'll work, do ya?"

"It…may."

"Y'really have so little faith in me?"

"You are not the one in whom my faith is weak."

"Would you _please_ stop bein' so proper? An' what were ya talkin' 'bout earlier when y'said 'everythin''?"

"I was…thinking."

"Yeah, y'mentioned that."

"I'm aware."

"So ya gonna tell me what y'were thinkin' about or what?"

"You."

"Me…m'kay. What about me?"

He shakes 'is head.

"Vince, whatever it is…it ain't nothin' t'be ashamed of."

"You say that."

"I mean that."

He sighs, an' one o' those sad laughs comes with it. "I know you do."

"So…?"

He looks away, out the window. "What do you see when you see me?"

"You, obviously."

"And who am I?"

"Vincent Valentine. You alright over there?"

"You know what I mean, Highwind."

"I guess you're…a man makin' damn good use o'his second chance. An'…someone tryin' so hard t'have 'is sins forgiven that he's missin' the fact that they already are, that they _always _were, that nobody ever blamed him. A man with demons, the kind he can shake an' the kind 'e can't. A man who ain't afraid o' nothin' an' don't run from nothin'. An'…an' don't tell me y'ain't this next thing, 'cause y'are an' you know it. A hero. A reluctant hero, maybe, but still a hero. An' not just fer takin' out Deepground."

"I'll never be forgiven."

"Dammit Vince…the only who ain't forgiven ya yet is yerself. An' I think you know that, too."

"I've run from things." He looks down.

"Y'always confront 'em in th'end. Like now, tellin' me all this. If that ain't facin' yer fears an' yer sins head on, I dunno what is."

"I am afraid of many things."

"Well who ain't?"

"You just said I wasn't."

"No, I said that's how I see you."

He looks at me, but not long enough ta make eye contact. B'fore I c'n read 'is face, he's starin' out the window.

"A'right. My turn. Whadda you see?"

"When I see you?"

"When y'see yerself."

"I see…I...don't want to."

"Alright, s'okay. M'sorry, shouldn't've asked."

"You had every right to ask."

"What _do_ ya see when ya see me? Will y'answer that?"

"I see a man who can work through the façade of another man without being caught breaking through, simply because there is more to him that what is obvious. You feel more for everything that what you show," he says, then laughs an' mumbles, "There's nothing simple about you."

Yeah, maybe. Maybe that's true. But don't we all feel more? Ain't we all concerned with what shows an' what we keep private? "Well, as much more as there may be t'me, what's obvious right now is the layer o' grease an' shit I'm gettin' all over yer bed. M'gonna go wash up."

"Goodnight."

"'Night, Vince."

I shower an' go t'bed, assumin' since 'e said "goodnight" I wasn't exactly welcome back in there. My hand still hurts a little. Suddenly I'm real tired. Just hope he's okay…still seemed kinda sad. Well, at any rate, sleep is soundin' like a good idea…

I wake up next mornin' t'bacon sizzlin'.

"Vince? I toldja, ya don't- oh, you."

"Good morning, Captain! I'm back."

"I c'n see that, dumbass."

"Um…is someone here?"

He ain't up yet? Huh. "Yeah, I'll go get 'im."

I hear 'er squeak "him?" at somethin'. Prob'ly th'cat.

"Vincent?"

"What?"

"Breakfast, buddy. C'mon."

"Now?"

"Yeah, now. What, you busy in there?"

"I could be."

"Can I come in?"

"Hm."

Well, it ain't a 'no'. I open the door. Oh. "Y'coulda just said, 'I'll be down in a minute, lemme finish with ma hair', ya know."

"Suppose I could have, yes."

I sit down at the foot o' the bed an' watch 'im brush it out. "Don't that take f'rever after ya sleep on it?"

"A while, yes, but certainly not forever. Shera's home."

"Yup."

"Hm."

"I agree."

He just keeps on brushin'. "Why are you staring?"

"I dunno…s'pretty."

"Thank you."

Whoa. M'eyes're buggin' outta ma head. He just accepted a compliment. World must be endin'. Again.

I reach a hand out t'th'already brushed part, an' he whacks ma hand away.

"Hey!"

"No one touches it until it's washed."

"…D'you just agree t'let me play with yer hair later?"

"It…seems that way, yes."

"Heh. Cool."

He frowns at me, still brushin'.

Finally he's done. "Let's go."

"'Kay. You eat bacon?"

"I eat what I'm served."

"Fine. You _like_ bacon?"

"I do."

"Good. Hope the fat-ass ain't ate it all 'erself already."

"She's not-"

"I know, I know. Lemme have ma fun."

"Cid." Teacher voice is back…dammit.

"Oh, fine. I'll behave," I say, and then add, "fer t'day."

"You think I didn't hear that?"

"I know you did."

Eh. Guess I pissed 'im off. He walks away an' goes t'stand b'hind Shera. She turns an' jumps when she sees 'im. I start laughin', but I try t'hide it.

"Mr. Val-"

"Vincent, please," he says, shakin' 'is head.

"Vincent, then. It's good to see you again. Maybe you'll put the Captain here in a better mood."

"Perhaps." His lips're twitchin'. I dunno what 'e's thinkin'…but I have a few guesses, from one end o' the damn spectrum t'the other.

"Well, we gonna eat or what, girl?"

"It's on the table, Captain."

"Oh."

"Aren't you going to apologize, Chief?"

"Right. Sorry Vince, didn't mean t'act like an ass in front o' ya."

He looks at Shera. "I tried."

She giggles. "You most certainly did."

"I'm right here, dammit!"

"We know," they say t'gether.

"Well anyway…y'all come eat."

They sit down an' start eatin'. Pretty soon they start talkin'. I'm stayin' outta this 'un. Don't want 'em gangin' up on me. I know they will, too, if they get the chance. I c'n see it.

"So you're helping the Captain with his new project?"

"No, I'm just visiting. On a rather…permanent basis."

How come nobody told me that, eh? Sheesh…

"Oh, that's excellent. He really respects you, you know?"

"I know." He looks at me. "Nothing to say?"

I shake ma head. M'keepin' m'mouth shut.

"How odd…normally he doesn't shut up. He's always talking at the table with his mouth full and everything…you're a good influence. It'll be worth cooking for an extra mouth."

"Thank you. I do what I can."

"And it's quite effective."

"I like to think so."

He's doin' this just t'get at me. Never seen 'im get on so good with anyone else…schemin' bastard. …Fuck, I feel bad even thinkin' that.

"Well, wouldja look at that? We're all done. Time fer me ta get t'work. See you lovebirds later."

I see 'er mouth "Lovebirds?" at Vince as I walk out. He just smiles an' ducks 'is head, but there's no collar fer it t'disappear inta.

'Ve only been here two hours, an' I'm bored. No, I ain't bored. I never get bored with this. M'just restless. Wanna know what's goin' on back at th'house. Can't be nothin' good, the two o' them...

"You know what, Chief?"

I jump. Wasn't expectin' 'im t'be here. "What's that?"

"You're already filthy again."

"Yeah, yeah. Don't see you doin' this an' stayin' clean."

"Would you like help?"

"Um…I dunno." Truth is, I like doin' stuff like this m'self. Makes me feel productive. Plus…I'd hate t'see 'im get dirty. He's like the doll yer gramma keeps on a shelf. Y'know, the one behind the glass? That one y'ain't allowed t'touch? Yeah…but f'I ever called 'im a doll, he'd prob'ly shoot me.

"You don't know?"

"I mean…I don't know…if you'd really…aw, don't give me that look!" Standin' there with his hands on 'is hips, tappin' a foot an' waitin' for me t'finish. How's he expect me t'get anything done…oh, I guess that's his point.

"Guess I wouldn't get much work done f'you were helpin', is all."

"And why is that?"

"I'd be too focused on not gettin' yer hair dirty." Yeah, that an' watchin' y'bend over t'get stuff…

"It has to be washed later anyway."

"Yeah, but…Fine. I always bitch when ya don't let me help you, huh? C'mere."

"That's more like it." He walks over an' squats down next t'me. "Where do you want me?"

Fuuuuck…does he know what sayin' stuff like that does t'me? Oi… "Mm…guess y'can…uh. Lessee…'kay, got it. Yer good with detail, right? Right. So, see these little bolts an' stuff? I need exact, perfect sketches of 'em so I c'n have more made."

"Certainly it wouldn't destroy the ship to take out one?"

"That's just it. I dunno, so I ain't takin' the chance."

"You'd call me a dumbass for saying that."

"Yeah, but…yeah, I would, but…c'mon now, dammit!"

"I'm just kidding. It's obvious that you pick and choose the subjects to which you apply that principle."

"…Right. So no makin' fun o' Cid." I point at ma chest with both thumbs, but I dunno why…obviously he knows who I am, right?

"I'll try to control myself."

An' I'll try t'control _my_self.

"Although…the spot of grease on your nose makes it a bit difficult."

"Aw, shut up. No wait, don't. You'll never talk again."

"I'm more mature than you're giving me credit for being, you realize."

"Yeah, I know. But I ain't."

He's quiet fer about five minutes b'fore, "…Alright, it's driving me crazy. Wipe it off."

I grab fer the handkerchief in m'pocket an' start makin' a half-assed attempt t'get the spot ta go away.

"You're spreading it. Give me that."

I don't give it- he snatches it. He puts in 'is right hand, the one he trained 'imself t'use, an' grabs m'face with th'left. "Be still."

Not a problem.

He wipes the spot off, lets me go, and hands back the kerchief.

"Thanks, Vince."

He snorts.

"So ya gonna get on that or what?"

"Right." He stands up, an' I already miss the way it felt t'have 'im that close. Maybe I'll call 'im back over an' "forget" why I called in a few minutes…nah, I actually need that work done.

I get back t'work. I trust 'im t'do what 'e says 'e'll do. Can't help but look over at 'im after a while, though…shit.

"Ooh yeah, sexy, Vince." I throw a smile over m'shoulder at 'im.

"Shut up, Highwind."

"Heh." C'mon, anybody'd think it was sexy. Vince with glasses? C'mon. He looks like a th'angry librarian…not gonna go there. Won't get any work done.

"I told you to shut up."

"A'right, a'right. I dunno why ya think y'don't look good, though…"

"If-"

"Alright, I'm shuttin' up! Damn Vince, chill out, man!" Still smilin'. Like a fool, in fact. Can't help it. I think maybe he is, too, but I ain't gonna try t'sneak a look. He'd throw somethin' at me.

We work fer a while, in the quiet. Maybe a few hours. I dunno. It's dark already, but it don't feel like it's been more'n fifteen minutes since lunch break. Tell ya, I just plain lose track o' th'time when I'm out here.

He walks over with a couple blueprint-size sheets o' paper, filled wi'drawin's of not just the bolts I asked fer, but everythin'. There's a full shot o' the'engine, all its parts, an' little separate drawin's of all the pieces, down t'the last details that I barely notice when I just glance over.

He even got the detail on the stuff y'can't see, the stuff on th'inside. Prob'ly not totally accurate, but the way it seems t'work, he's gotta be close.

"Hey, not half bad."

He tips his imaginary hat to me.

"Ready t'go back?"

"Would I have brought you the finished product otherwise?"

"Guess not. Yeah, Shera oughta have somethin' cooked b'now."

"You really should be kinder to her."

"I know…y'know y'r the only one who c'n make me feel ashamed o' m'self?"

"Then she's right; I am a good influence."

"Nah. It's just…I feel bad, y'know? 'Cause I ain't the only one t'have had 'is dreams crushed. Just that ever'body else seems t'handle it with more…dignity."

"You don't actually resent her anymore. It's more of a habit."

"Old habits die hard."

"And the greatest rewards come from the greatest conquests."

"I'll never love 'er."

"But you can treat her with the respect she deserves."

"Yeah, but…she ain't…ain't what I want." She ain't you.

"I understand. Be happy with what you have, Cid. Make it work, before it's gone."

"Oh, fuck. Vince, I'm sorry, ba- buddy. I didn't mean ta-"

"I know you didn't. I didn't mean to open the pity bar, either. Let's move on, shall we?"

"Sounds good." I stretch, an' look up. "Hey, y'see it?"

"See…what?"

"Chaos."

"What _are_ you talking about?"

"Look up. Y'see that big…splotch? It's like…a really big star, kinda weird shaped."

He frowns. "Yes…"

"Y'left that when ya…went up there. When we thought y'were stayin' up there. When we thought y'were…gone."

"You didn't think so."

"I hoped you weren't. Was scared t'death that y'were."

"I could never have stayed away. That's really there because of m…is that the Lifestream we're seeing through it?"

"Dunno. Could just be light, like it really did turn int'a a big splotch of a star, but either way, yeah, that was you. We saw it."

"She came to me."

"Lucrecia?"

"Yes." End-o'-discussion voice again.

An' that's all. "Almost home."

Home. It's home fer both of us now, I think. Oh yeah…

"Hey, Vince?"

"Hm?"

"Y'mentioned t'Shera…yer stayin' on a 'permanent basis,' right?"

"You noticed, I see. Do you have an objection?"

"No way. I was just wondrin' why I never heard nothin' 'bout it 'til then."

"I was originally going to ask, but the right time never came."

"Well, y're welcome wi'me as long as y'c'n handle me, that's fer sure."

"Thank you."

We turn in ta the house, an' I let him hold the door this time. Shera's sittin' on th'couch with 'er feet up. "Oh, there you are. Dinner's almost ready."

"Almost?"

"Well, it was ready, and then it got cold, so I put it back in the oven. It's probably warm, just…not hot."

"…Right. You eat already?"

"I did."

"Okay then. I think I'm gonna shower real quick b'fore I eat. M'all…gross."

I take a quick shower, just to get all the sweat 'n' shit offa me. When I walk out t'go eat, Vince is leavin' the table.

"Well, if you're done, I'm going in."

Thought he was gonna wait fer me…an' there's another bathroom downstairs 'e coulda used while I was upstairs…

"Shera's in the other shower. I'll have to use yours, is that okay?"

"S'fine. Oh, an' Vin?"

He turns.

"Wash that hair."

"Yes, sir."

The food's just kinda so-so. I mean, it's good, but I hate eatin' alone. …M'a damn finicky bastard, ain't I? Hard t'please, that's me…may not exactly be a good thing. Don't matter, I guess…what th'hell'm I goin' on about?

I go upstairs, thinkin' I'll get t'sleep early or somethin'. But I ain't been here five minutes an' somebody's knockin' on the door.

"Yeah?"

He comes in, wearin' a dark green turtleneck an' black pajama pants. "Still livin' from the one suitcase?"

"I'm an efficient packer."

"I see. Y'really gonna wear a turtleneck ta bed?"

"Why not?"

"Y'were just so hot th'other night y'had to lose the shirt…y'really think y'oughta _add_ heat?"

"Maybe I'll take this one off later, too."

Wish he'd take it off now…no, eyes back in yer head an' mind outta the gutter. C'mon, Cap'n. "Y'prob'ly will. Didn't putcher hair back up."

"Of course not. It would have been a waste. I'm sure you would have wanted me to take the band out."

"Well, yeah. Vince?"

"Hm?"

"This is weird."

"Well, I'm sitting down anyway. Is that acceptable?"

"'Course." If 'e snuggles up…I might lose it. At least, I'm gonna think he lost it.

He don't, though, just sits an' looks at me.

"So no story t'night?"

"Hm…I'll take us to the point of my meeting with Cloud."

"Yer awakening, y'mean."

"From the nightmare," he agrees, lookin' away. "Hansel left the gingerbread house to find his that meticulously laid trail had disappeared."

* * *

He says he dreamed while he slept, an' everythin' that wasn't a nightmare made 'im feel dirty, like 'e was shirkin' duty.

Sometimes he dreamed about Sephiroth growin' up, about a bunch o' people he didn't know. Didn't know then, anyway. He knows 'em all now.

One that he finds especially int'restin' now is this one he had of a little blond kid about six years old fallin' off a chocobo an' screamin' at the top of 'is lungs b'fore standin' up an' dustin' 'imself off. Then the kid kicked the bird in the back o' the knee an' it kwehed an' almost fell over, then ruffled its feathers an' ran off.

"That child seems awfully familiar to me," he says, smirkin'.

"That situation seems awful familiar t'_me._"

"I thought it might."

He says he dreamed about all the others, too- Tifa fallin' in the mountains an' Cloud makin' his decision t'join SOLDIER t'protect 'er, Nanaki's father gettin' turned t'stone, Barrett losin' 'is arm, Yuffie's village gettin' attacked, so on.

At one point, he dreamed the Pres had gotten his mistress pregnant, an' his wife a few years later. "Blissfully devoid of detail," he says about those ones.

He said he dreamed once about Yuffie actin' like she was beatin' up this dark-haired kid 'bout seventeen years old, an' he pretended she'd hurt 'im just t'humor 'er. We found out later he actually did it t'get 'er outta the way, but…

An' that dark-haired kid showed up a lot. We know now it's Zack, Cloud's old buddy. But then he was just some kid.

Vince remembers dreamin' about Zack an' Sephiroth t'gether a lot, sometimes with an auburn-haired girly-man with a book o' poetry or a broad-chested man who looked Wutaian. Sometimes all of 'em t'gether, but at least Zack or Sephiroth was always with 'em.

An' he saw when Sephiroth burned down the village. He saw when 'e Jenova in the reactor, the reactor he'd played a part in settin' up. He hadn't known that Hojo was hidin' shit there, but he saw it then.

He saw when Cloud "killed" Sephiroth after Zack got hurt, saw 'em both get carted off by Hojo after the whole thing. He says that was the worst part o' the nightmare, knowin' he was gonna try it all again. An' he hoped t'ever'thin' he knew ta hope to that it was all over fer his son, that he'd be at rest.

He didn't see in the labs; those five years were pretty much all his nightmare of Lucrecia, of his demons, of what he hadn't been able ta stop. He saw Angeal –an Angeal copy, actually- break Zack out, though, an' he started pickin' up their signals, so ta speak, again.

He saw the time that passed with Cloud catatonic, saw how Zack never once got frustrated with dealin' with 'im, saw how 'e never even considered leavin' 'im.

He saw 'im die. All those SOLDIERs, all o' ShinRa, out ta get one o' their own. Not only one o' their own, but one o' their best. It broke 'is heart when he saw 'em succeed. He saw Zack's last breath, saw 'im givin' Cloud the Buster, tellin' 'im t'live fer both of 'em. Angeal comin' down, Zack askin' fer wings, his body gettin' carried away by 'is old mentor, essentially gettin' absorbed by the planet.

He didn't have a clue how much time was passin', if any o' those events were real, who any o' those people were, fer the most part, an' he prayed that it wasn't his Sephiroth, wasn't his son, who'd gone crazy, been killed, been recreated an' was bein' hunted down again. He prayed with everthin' 'e had.

But when Cloud came t'wake 'im up 28 years after 'e'd fallen asleep, he listened t'the story an' learned it _was_ all true. He decided not t'say anythin' about all the stuff 'e saw t'the others, fer fear of upsettin' em.

"Someone is here...to wake me from the nightmare. Who is it!?"

He sat up, movin' slow.

"...Never seen you before. You must leave."

Spiky told 'im, "You were having a nightmare."

Boo-eh, Tifa had t'ask about it. Not like he answered 'er. "How bad was your dream?"

He just said, "Hm... a nightmare...? My long sleep has given me time to atone."

Spiky, blond he is, didn't have a clue what Vince was talkin' about. Vince tried t'clear it up for 'im.

"I have nothing to say to strangers. Get out. This mansion is the beginning of your nightmare."

Cloud did that thing- that hidin'-the-face-in-the-collar thing that he an' Vince c'n do perfectly- an' then he said, "...you can say that again."

It intrigued Vince."Hm? What do you know!?"

Sounds like Spiky was a little afraid o' Vince. "Like you said, this mansion is the beginning of a nightmare. No, it's not a dream, it's for real. Sephiroth has lost his mind. He found the secrets hidden in this mansion..."

Vince knew that name. Did 'e ever know that name. "Sephiroth!?"

Then him an' Spiky said the same thing as him at the same time. "You know Sephiroth?"

Vince said he backflipped out just t'see if 'e still could. He figured if he couldn't move like 'e used ta, he wouldn't bother gettin' up an' goin' with 'em. "You start first."

Spiky told 'is story, 'bout Sephiroth bein' alive an' killin'. At the end, he said, "...That's how it was."

Vince asked if Sephiroth knew who he was, how he was created.

Cloud danced aroun' the question. "...He was missing. But he just recently reappeared. He has taken many lives and is seeking the Promised Land."

Cloud made a gesture tellin' Vince t'go ahead. "Now it's your turn."

Vince backed outta his end. "Sorry... I cannot speak." He said he didn't tell 'em nothin' 'cause it mighta helped 'em kill Sephiroth, an' as much as he hated the thought of a bunch o' people gettin' killed…it was still his boy.

Tifa tried to flatter 'im inta talkin'. "Hmmm... I'm disappointed."

Vince got back in the coffin' expectin' 'em t'leave. "Hearing your stories has added upon me yet another sin. More nightmares shall come to me now, more than I previously had."

An' with that, Vince learned that every dream he'd had, pretty much, was a part of 'is nightmare, even if he hadn't known what was goin' on. He never was shirkin', really. We were all connected already, maybe even b'fore the beginnin'.

He laid down, askin' 'em t'go away b'fore closin' himself back up from th'inside.

When the group didn't go away, Vince came out again. "...You're still here."

"At least tell us your name."

"I was with... the ShinRa Manufacturing Department in Administrative Research, otherwise known as-- the Turks…Vincent."

Cloud flipped out a little. "The Turks!?"

Vincent corrected 'im right away. "_Formerly_ of the Turks. I have no affiliation with ShinRa now…and you?"

"Former ShinRa soldier, Cloud."

"You were also with ShinRa...? Then do you know Lucrecia?"

"Who?"

"…Lucrecia."

Cloud shook 'is head.

"The woman who gave birth to Sephiroth."

Cloud flipped out s'more. "...gave birth...? Wasn't Jenova Sephiroth's mother?"

Vince tried t'explain, but…he uses big words, an' Cloud's kinda dumb sometimes. Didn't work too well. "That isn't completely wrong, but just a theory. He was born from a beautiful lady."

He don't mention that a beautiful man was involved, too. "That lady was Lucrecia. She was an assistant to Professor Gast of the Jenova Project. Beautiful…Lucrecia." The way he talked about 'er, the way he still talks about 'er…I'd be jealous if…if I didn't totally understand how it feels t'love like that.

Cloud missed the point, but caught some o' what made sense. "...A human experiment?"

Vin went all emo-vamp on 'em. "There was no way to cancel the experiment. I couldn't stop her." He took one o' those deep breaths that isn't deep that he's famous for. "That was my sin. I let the one I loved, the one I respected most, face the worst."

After one more psyche-out, he agreed t'go with 'em, only because he wanted t'see if he could help Sephiroth, an' maybe beat the shit outta Hojo a million times b'fore killin' 'im..

Line

"Well, that," he says, "and I was rather impressed that someone had gone through the trouble of unlocking me from the coffin. It was not an easy task."

"Whaddaya mean?"

"I was locked away under a combination. The digits making up the combination were hidden in clues around the mansion."

"You did that?"

"Some of it. Hojo realized it was me, and reinforced it."

"Eh. How d'ya lock yerself in if ya gotta be on th'outside t'close it?"

"Magic."

"Right. So got any more dirt on me I need t'know about now?"

"I seem to recall a drunken hookup with one Reno St. Clair." **(A/N Yes, I know, it's usually 'Sinclair'. I restored it to the name it was derived from, okay? It's prettier this way.)**

"You saw _that?_ Ugh…blissfully de-"

"Not at all devoid of detail," he says, an' smirks, the tryin'-not-ta-laugh kind.

"Uh-oh."

"'Uh-oh' sums the whole affair up quite accurately, yes."

"Well, uh, changin' the subject…"

"Afraid I'd think less of you?"

"Nah. Afraid repressed mem'ries might come back."

"Was it that awful?"

"It was when that Tseng found out."

He starts laughin'.

"It ain't funny…alright, it is, but don't tell anybody, dammit!"

His phone goes off. Don't it always go down like that? Damn.

"Hey, when'd ya start carryin' that?"

"After the Bahamut Sin incident. I understand it was rather difficult to find me."

"Oh, right. Gonna get it?"

He opens it, looks at the ID, looks at me, an' answers it anyway. He don't say anythin'; waits fer the other person t'…oh.

"_Vincent?"_

"Reeve." Whaddaya want, dammit? Leave 'im alone…

"_There's a bit of a situation in Kalm…"_

"And you want me to take care of it?" Say no, Vince, say no…he's got two whole fuckin' armies! He just wants you there so 'e can…

"_Oh, would you? Thank you so much, Vincent. I don't know what we'd-"_

"I didn't say I would."

"_Oh."_

Yeah, that's the spirit, Vince! "But I suppose I will, since you asked."

I bang m'head on the headboard without thinkin' 'bout it. Vincent looks at me with the teacher-face. "Sorry," I whisper. Ain't too good at whisperin'…

"_Vincent? Is someone there?"_

"I'm…staying with Cid." He says it like…oh, he noticed that Reeve…oh. Well then.

"_Oh, that's…that's nice. Well, we can probably take care of this here if you want to stay-"_

"Nonsense, Tuesti! Y'done asked 'im, we're comin' now!"

"Cid!" It's a hiss, shoulda sounded mad, but…he's smilin'.

"_That's…well…oh, alright. But it may be cleared up by the time you arrive."_

"Yeah, right! I c'n get there in…half an hour, if y'want."

Vince just looks at me. I think I'm amusin' 'im.

"_That's really not…very well. I…fine."_

He hangs up, an' Vince does the same. "That was rude."

"Sorry. Y'know he was just tryin'a getch'over there an'-"

"I know. He's…not terribly subtle. Never has been."

"Neither'm I."

His face relaxes. Softens, I guess, t'be fairy-tale about it."But you don't…push."

"Push 'bout what?"

"Changing the subject sounds like a good option."

"Vince?"

"Not now."

"Okay." Damn, y'could cut the tension with a knife right about now…damn Reeve. We were just fine b'fore he called…

"We should get going. You did promise to be there."

"Yeah, let's go."

He goes down the hall t'get Cerberus an' his claw. I grab my Venus Gospel from the wall an' meet 'im in the hallway.

"No cape?"

"I would look like an elf."

"Yeah, guess you would." An' now I'm stuck on imaginin' 'im in those skimpy elf outfits the girls at the mall wear 'round Christmas. "Y'realize we're bringin' these fer nothin'.

"It's better to be prepared."

Right. …Where am I? Right. "So…the_ Mustang_ ain't up fer that trip. We'll have t'take the _Shera. _An' it's prob'ly gonna take more'n thirty minutes…"

"Will that interfere with your project?"

"Nah, ya got it all drawn up so nice, even if somethin' goes wrong-" ever'thin' out there forbid "- I oughta be able work from what I got."

"Let's hope nothing does go wrong."

"I agree. Now let's git!"

He stands close t'me the whole trip, up on ma little platform. He's just hangin', but he's like a moth or somethin', all nervous. An' he thinks he hides ever'thin' so well.

"Calm down, Vince."

"I am."

"Y'ain't. What's wrong?"

"Nothing. I'm fine."

I think I get it. "I'm gonna be polite, alright? Ain't gonna throw nothin' in 'is face, how y'know what 'e's up to an' all. I'm cruel, but I have m'limits."

"…Thank you." That ain't all. He don't wanna see any feelin's hurt, an' he don't wanna be the cause o' anger an' shit. An'…

"Vince…this at least oughta prove to ya y're worth more'n ya give yerself credit for."

He stops…flittin' around an' looks dead at me. "Change the subject." It's almost like 'e's beggin'. I don't wanna make 'im feel like that, but…

"We're gonna have t'get t'this sooner or later." I need t'know where I stand t'him…like, now.

"I know. Not…not now." This'd be the kind o' time I'd like t'hold 'im, calm 'im down, just be there. I would, if he wasn't so…scareable. Heh. Dunno if that's a word, but what the hell does it matter? It's 'zactly what 'e is. Guess it's a good thing, makes 'im who 'e is, but sometimes I wish 'e was more…reachable. Well, we're workin' on it, I think.

"Alright. We oughta touch down in ten minutes 'r' so."

"Fine."

He's quiet the rest o' the way, but when I make a PA call t'announce the landin' –just outta habit; it's just us an' he's right b'hind me- he moves forward an' grabs my arm, squeezes _tight -_with the non-painful arm- b'fore 'e goes down an' waits fer the plane t'touch down all the way.

* * *


	12. Not an Easily Titled Chapter

I'd like to take the time to thank **BMIK **who writes fun Yazoo-ness**, Chibi Koun**, who also writes Cid/Vincent**, **and **BlackCoat, **self-proclaimed villain, for being constant and specific reviewers. You guys make me happy.

Don't own. This is what happens when I get bored with a story I'm writing...but it picks up again later. Don't worry.

Everyone say "Hey, Cid!" because that's where we are.

* * *

We get off 'bout half a mile outta Kalm an' walk th'rest o' the way. Reeve's at the gates when we get there an' he don't look too thrilled t'see me. Can't really say I feel any different.

He opens up the gates an' moves forward t'greet us- well, t'greet Vince.

"Vincent, good to see you," he goes, an' steps in with 'is arms up. Wonder if 'e hugged 'im at the hotel?

But Vince puts up a hand t'grab one o' Reeve's arms an' pushes it down to 'is side. There's a look on 'is face I never wanna see again. It says plain as day, "don't make this any harder on either of us than it already is. Please don't make it hurt more." I bet he used that a lot as a Turk, just…the pain then wasn't his. Now it is, it's both o' theirs, an' I'm standin' by an' watchin like I have th'right t'do that.

"What…alright. Hello, Cid."

"S'up?" Be nice, be nice, be nice…good.

"Well, there's not actually…much…going on."

"We assumed as much. Reeve-"

"But there is something I'd like your help with, both of you."

"An' what's that?"

"Well…follow me."

We do, an' Vince feels like shit, which makes me feel like shittier shit, 'cause if not fer me…or maybe I got nothin' t'do with it. I dunno.

He leads us down inta this arena-lookin' thing.

"The hell is this?"

"It's an entertainment facility…I was wondering if I could count on both of you to occasionally make appearances…?"

"As in fightin' t'bring in money fer you?"

"Not for me, no! For the recovery effort, every cent of it. I can't run on donations alone much longer, generous though they may be…"

"Mebbe once'r twice. Could be fun." Why? 'Cause I feel bad. Plus, I like t'show off, ever'body knows it.

"And…Vincent?"

He looks down inta the pit, looks back up. "Not to the death?"

"Of course not! Maybe the two of you could even face off once, what do you say? A grand opening of sorts?"

"Wouldn't work," I say, an' resist (just barely) the urge t'blow smoke in 'is face. Why do I wanna do that? 'Cause if we were in a movie, I would. Just how it goes.

"Why not?" he asks, confused.

I say, "'Cause I'd kick 'is ass," right when Vince says, "He'd kick my ass."

Heh. Guess that goes t'show which of us is the arrogant, loudmouth pilot, 'case anyone was still confused about that. Don't see how anybody could be, though…

"Oh, I don't know. Vincent can hold his own."

"Sure 'e can. I'm just better."

"Er, right. Well, do you suppose the others would be-"

"Yeah, I bet they would. But is this a volunteer-thingy or what? I know Spiky could use the money…but then, he might not take it, fer somethin' like this. But if ya pull 'im away from 'is deliverin' stuff, y'better pay 'im." After all, somebody's gotta look our fer the kid…he don't do such a good job o' doin' it 'imself.

"Well, I think once it starts attracting large enough crowds on a regular basis, I'll be able to spare it-"

"Then Spiky ain't in 'til y'get that situated."

"Why don't I just ask him myself?"

"'Cause 'e sucks at makin' 'is own decisions."

"You do have a point…but unless there's some written agreement that-"

"Dude, ain't it obvious yet that I'm just arguin' t'be difficult? C'mon, y'oughta know me well enough by now."

"Oh."

"This couldn't have waited until tomorrow?"

Didn't notice 'til 'e said that, but Vince does look tired. 'Course, it was pretty late when we left, I guess.

"Well…I suppose it could have. But I thought…well, never mind what I thought. Thank you both for coming out-"

"'Ey, Reeve? Y'ever heard o' the boy who cried wolf?"

He sighs. "Yes."

"So don't be that kid, yeah? An' next time y'don't really need anything, wait 'til it's a civilized hour, whoever y're callin'. I'm sure no one appreciates gettin' paged at eleven-thirty."

"Right. I'm sorry, Vincent."

He nods an' goes back t'the ship. When 'e walks past me, I hear 'im whisper "I'm sorry." Gonna hafta throw m'self down 'is throat fer…heh. Not yet. An' hey…dammit, that ain't what I meant! Focus…right. He don't apologize anymore, not t'anybody.

"Catch ya later. Lemme know what ever'body else says, yeah?"

"I will. Cid?"

Here it comes.

"Take…take care of him."

I stop an' turn aroun'. "I'd be the world's biggest asshole if I didn't."

"Does he know?"

"Know what?"

"How you feel."

"Think so, yeah."

"…And me?"

"Yeah. M'sorry…" I scratch th'back o' my neck. Why's stuff gotta be so awkward all the time?

"It's not…I mean…"

I know what he means. He means "I dunno why 'e picked you. I dunno why I'm not good enough. It ain't yer fault, but it's totally yer fault." I know what 'e means.

"'F'it makes ya feel better…you mean a lot to 'im."

"I'm not sure that helps at all." Just makes y'wonder more, huh? Shit, I'm bad with this stuff…

"If I thought 'e'd talk to y'about it, I'd see 'f'e wanted t'stay here instead o' flyin' back, but…"

"He won't. Not to me."

"Not t'me, either, actually. Well…better get on back."

"Safe flight."

"Thanks, man."

I walk back t'the ship, glad t'see Vince's already on board. He's prob'ly holed up in a cabin…that's alright, too.

"Startin' up!" I say inta the mike, 'cause it's habit, not 'cause I think he cares if I warn 'im or not.

There's no answer, but I didn't expect one. I don't see hide or hair of 'im 'til we get back an' I let 'im know we're home.

I get off first an' leave the hatch open. C'n close it from th'outside. She's just that special.

He gets out an' goes straight inside. Good. I have time t'think. I close 'er up an' make sure ever'thin's shut off. She's stayin' in the garage since I'm workin' with 'er, so I make sure that's closed up, too, b'fore I head in after 'im.

I go right up t'bed, since I've already showered. I mean, I c'd use another one now, I'm sure, but I'm lazy. An' fucking tired.

He's in my room, lookin' out th'window.

"Vince? Y'alright?"

He turns real slow, but doesn't say anything. Oh shit, I know that look…

"Hey, don't even get started, y'hear? An' don't look at me like y'don't know what I'm talkin' about. Y're 'bout t'go off on 'I've committed another sin I must atone fer' an' all that shit, aintcha? Yeah, I know. Well I'm tellin' y'now, don't even start. 'Cause ain't nobody holdin' nothin' against ya."

"Against me, perhaps not. But…"

"Y'ain't really worried about ma relationship wi'him, are ya? 'Cause we never really got along, y'know. Even hate that stupid cat. It aintcher fault if things get worse. We brought it on ourselves, anyway." We sure did. Dangerous game, this. …But it ain't a game, is it? I been lookin' at it wrong th'whole time.

"I just…hate to cause pain." He clenches 'is hands an' looks back out th'window.

"I know you do. Look…dammit, Vince! Cantcha just fer once in yer goddamn life do what you want? Just forget what ever'body else wants. Y'fuckin' deserve t'have what you want. An' I know y'hate makin' people hurt, but sometimes that hasta happen. Otherwise the world wouldn't turn. That's it. I want you ta promise me right now that y're doin' what you want by bein' here. If y'can't do that-"

"I can."

"What?"

"I can assure you that being here with you is what I want, Chief."

"…Oh. Well shit…yellin' atcha ain't exactly the best way fer t'get this kinda point across…" Uh, whoops…

"Not exactly, no."

"Heh, sorry…You gonna stand there all night?"

"Just a little longer."

"Okay. Turn out th'light when y'go, alright?"

"I will. Good night, Cid."

"'Night, Vampy." Hey, I'm nervous. I gotta joke.

I ain't too surprised a few minutes later when 'e turns off the lights an' lays down next t'me. Don't think 'e's plannin' t'stay, though. Wonder f'I should pretend t'be asleep or roll over an' talk to 'im?

"Chief?"

"Yeah."

That's all he says. I dunno if my "yeah" sounded irritated or if 'e just pulled a me an' didn't have anything t'back it up with.

But he's still there when I fall asleep.

He's gone when I wake up, but I ain't surprised. I just hope 'e's, y'know, okay.

Shera's got breakfast done already by the time I get outta the shower.

"Seen Vince?"

"You haven't?"

"Nuh-uh. He might be needin' some space, though."

"What did you do?"

"Hey, don't use that tone w'me!" I say, mouth full an' wavin' ma fork around.

"Well, what _did_ you do?"

"Yelled at 'im. But I don't think that was it."

"What'd you yell at him about?"

"Ain't your business."

"You're right. And I can't possibly be of any help, as I'm a useless dumbass."

"Oh, c'mon…m'I really that bad?"

Her face tells me that yes, I am that bad. Huh. Maybe Vince was onto somethin' after all.

"Hey, I'm workin' on it, alright?"

"On…what?"

"On not bein' a bastard to ya so much."

"Well that's certainly something to look forward to."

"But we're gonna needa get that divorce we been thinkin' ' bout since…b'fore we got married."

"I suppose we will, yes. Why exactly did we-"

"I dunno."

"Oh well."

"Eating without me? I thought I was your guest."

"An' we thought you left."

"I did. I'm coming in the front door, am I not?"

"Then please forgive me fer listenin' t'm'body an' feedin' m'self…well, eatin', at least…b'fore I starved t'death."

"I doubt you would have starved overnight. Oh, no thank you. I ate."

Shera walks off, lookin' hurt that he didn't take the plate o' eggs she'd brought 'im.

"S'where'd ya go?"

"Not too far."

"M'kay."

Awkward silences suck. 'Specially when they last through th'whole mornin'…I'm old fashioned. I don't work on Sundays. Hangar's off limits t'me, courtesy o' m'self. So I'm here, stuck in the quiet nothin'ness o' zero-conversation world. Shera done ran off t'visit a friend, so it's just us.

"It wasn't long after they found me that we arrived here, you know."

"Yeah?"

"Hm. After getting here, we met someone…unique. Any idea who that may have been? He had dreams then, as he does now. "

"I ain't that unique."

"You are, Chief. Do you remember?"

"Yeah. Tell me anyway."

"Hm. In a way, that meeting reassured me that I'd made a good choice in choosing to follow the path Cloud had presented."

"How's that?"

"Let me tell you."

* * *

He says not too much happened on the way between Nibelheim an' Rocket Town.

First thing they saw, o' course, was the rocket. Spiky hadda comment first. "What's that? A rusty old rocket... Wonder what they'd make something that huge for?"

He asked somebody about it, an' that person d'rected 'em t'me. "Better ask the Captain about this town. He's the one in charge of it."

"Who's the 'Captain'?"

They told 'im I was a ShinRa pilot when the space program was goin' on. They said I was wastin' m'time dreamin' now that it was outta reach. Said I just couldn't let it go. Vince says…heh. He says he wouldn't have me any other way. Says I ain't wastin' m'time, never was. Makes a guy feel pretty damn good t'hear stuff like that.

"Everyone in this town was a mechanic back when they were planning to launch the rocket."

"That rusted old rocket is all that remains of the ShinRa's Space Program."

"This used to be a ShinRa base where they used to launch rockets."

"You saw the leaning rocket, right? That's ShinRa No. 26. It never got off the ground, though."

I dunno how the dude remembers all that, but that's the kinda talk they heard b'fore they hit th'inn. When they got there, they found somebody else d'rectin' 'em t'me. I'm just that popular, what c'n I say?

"Did you meet the Captain already? He's really the town's representative, so you should really talk with him.

An' then they headed fer where they heard I'd be. First thing they saw _there _was the _Tiny Bronco. _I do miss 'er.

"There's a ShinRa logo on it. _Tiny Bronco_..... This is cool."

"Let's take it! OK, Cloud?" Heh, Aerith, in all her innocence. Shera saw 'em at about that point.

"Um... may I help you?"

Spiky shrugged b'fore decidin' not t'ask 'til it was offered. 'Cause 'e's an ijit like that. "No... We're just looking at it."

"...If you would like to use it, please ask the Captain. He should be in the Rocket. I'm Shera. And what are your names?"

The kids all interduced themselves, an' Shera just kep' on talkin'. "Hmm.... So you're not with ShinRa. I thought the approval for the reopening of the Space Program came."

"Huh?"

"President Rufus is scheduled to come here. The Captain's been so restless all morning."

Damn right I'd been restless. That was my dream. I was gettin' another chance, 'r so I thought.

She left 'em, so she didn't see 'em go nuts about hearin' th'name Rufus.

They headed out t'the rocket t'find me, thinkin' maybe they could figure stuff out from talkin' t'me. I wasn't none too happy t'see people in the rocket, _my_ rocket. But I c'n be sociable when I wanna be. I just…didn't wanna be. "What're you guys doin' here?"

"We heard the Captain was here."

Made me wonder if I was really so unprofessional lookin'. I mean, I was right there, man! An' obviously I'm th'captain…who else would it'a' been?

I laughed, but I wasn't really findin' it funny. "Captain? I'm the Captain! The name's Cid. Everyone calls me, 'Captain,' though. Whaddaya want?"

They asked 'bout the rocket first, just 'cause they hadn't seen b'fore.

"Tell me about this rocket."

"Wow! Not bad for a kid. Alright then, I'll explain it to ya. Y'know Shinra developed a lot of technological gadgets durin' the meanin'less war, right? Now it's a mako company, but in the old days it was a weapons manufacturer."

Cloud nodded at me, so I continued.

"Well, they came up with a Rocket Engine. There was so much excitement about the thought of going into outer space. Our dreams got bigger and bigger. They put a major budget into it and made prototype after prototype! Finally, they completed ShinRa No. 26. They chose the best pilot in Shinra-- no, in the world-- me. I mean, come on."

Vince says I turned away then. Don't 'member that, but I guess I musta. He also says he believed me right off 'bout bein' the best. Wasn't a doubt in 'is mind, 'e says. An' since then I've only ever proven 'im right. S'what 'e says, at least. I like t'think 'e's right.

"An' finally we get to the day of the launch. Ever'thing was goin' well..."

Eh, guess 'e was right about me facin' th'wall, 'cause I do remember kickin' it then. "But, because of that dumb-ass Shera, the launch got messed up. That's why they got so anal! An' so, ShinRa nixed their outer space exploration plans. After they told me how the future was Space Exploration and got m'damn hopes up... DAMN THEM! Then, it was all over once they found out mako energy was profitable. They didn't even so much as look at space exploration. Money, moola, dinero! My dream was just a financial number for

them! Look at this busted Rocket. I was supposed to be the first man in space with this. Every day, it tilts a little bit more. At this rate, I don't know which'll come first, this thing fallin' down or me gettin' outta here."

Well, I'm still here. But it's alright now. I don't mind so much. Got out, didn't I? Heh, an' came right back. Damn cat told me I would, too. Never known 'im t'be right b'fore.

"M'last hope is to talk ta the President......"

"Is Rufus coming?"

"Yeah! Must be news about restartin' the Space Program. A young President, that's what we needed! He still has dreams,

too!"

"Can we borrow the _Tiny Bronco_?

Now _that _was funny. "You out of your fuckin' mind!? That's my most cherished possession. I can't let you take it."

* * *

"So what's that hafta do with makin' y'feel better about comin' with 'em? I was a fuckin' jackass."

"But you were a man who hadn't given up. Your dreams were gone, but you kept hoping. You kept dreaming. I wished I could be like that."

"Like what? Cynical an' jackass-y?"

"Persistent and cheerful."

"Y'have a damn weird perception o' me, baby." Shiiiit…gotta remember t'watch that reflex.

"You did it again."

"Ehe…sorry."

"Hm."

"What happened after that? All I 'member after that was yellin' atcha 'bout tea an' that Palmer dude manhandlin' ma baby –quit laughin', y'know what I mean- an' gettin' hit by a truck."

"Well, we went back to the house after talking with you."

* * *

"Excuse me.... Cloud?" That was Shera, comin' in from the backyard t'see what'd come outta meetin' me. "Did the Captain say anything?" She meant about lettin' 'em take th'_Bronco._

"Nope..."

"Oh...?"

An' then I came back in, yellin' ma fool head off just 'cause I felt like it. "Shit! Shera. What are you, blind!? We got guests!! GET SOME TEA! Fuck!"

"I... I'm sorry." She ran over t'the stove t'start the tea.

Vince said he thought he lost a little respect for me, seein' me order 'er around like that. Wouldn't blame 'im. Actually don't know why they didn't all d'cide t'hate me.

Spiky butted in 'bout then. "Really, don't mind us."

I musta looked a little drunk, the way I was waving m'arms at 'em. Was just tryin'a tell 'em t'sit down…but I was all worked up. Ain't my fault. "Shut up! Sit your ass down in that chair and drink your goddamn TEA! Arggggggh! DAMN, I'm pissed!" Heh, whoops. I was just a little over the top, wasn't I? "Shera! I'll be in the backyard tunin' up _Tiny Bronco_! An' make sure to serve them some tea! All right!?"

"Sheesh...!! What bad manners!" Yeah, but Aerith's so sweet an' all…

"Sorry. It's our fault." Well, we all know Cloud's got that thing that makes him attract guilt like a magnet.

"No, no. He's always like this." Damn, Shera! C'n y'be any more blunt?

"Is it always like this...? Why is Cid so hard on you?"

"No... It's because of my stupid mistake. I was the one who destroyed his dream..."

"What happened?"

"It was the day of the launch. I was working on the rocket, shortly before. The Captain was anxious, and…yelling.

'_Hey! Get your ass in gear! You work like a snail! Even the moon'd get tired watin' around for your ass!' _

"_I got up and apologized, but he just yelled some more. 'Don't take so much time checkin' that *%$^# oxygen tank Shera, bein' careful's good, but it won't do any good no matter how many times you check that oxygen tank. That thing wouldn't break even if hell froze over.' _

"_I tried to argue, but…that's useless. He waved his arms at me, like he did at you about the tea a moment ago. 'No buts!! You're not stupid, so be more efficient!'_

"_Everyone was so happy…they were all so excited. _

'_Captain! Our dreams are finally coming true!' _

'_We are so proud to be a part of the launch of Shinra No. 26.' _

'_Captain, preparations are complete! All that's left is lift off!' _

"_The Captain laughed along with them. He was so…so happy. 'Yeah! Leave it all to me! I'll be back in a few!'_

"'_All right, Captain! Fly our dreams into outer space!'_

"_They all stood by to watch him go into the cockpit. _

"'_Thanks, guys!' _

"_They all shouted their goodbyes, and he sat down, ready to go…checked once more, declared the ShinRa No.26 ready for launch, started the engine. With three minutes to go, the alarm went off. The alarm that told them that I was still near the engine. Cid came over the intercom in the engine room. 'Hey, goddammit!! Who the fuck's still in there?' _

"_I told him it was me, and not to mind. When he asked what I was doing…I told him that I'd felt the need to recheck an oxygen tank. He yelled at me, of course. 'You stupid little fucker! It's gonna get so hot in there that there ain't gonna be SHIT left when we blast off! Yer gonna be burnt to a crisp! Yer gonna die! You know that, doncha!?" _

"_I told him, 'I don't mind. If I can just fix this, the launch will be a success. I'm almost done." _

"_I went back into the tank, and he yelled, 'Almost done!? You're gonna die!'_

"_Then I heard, 'Cid, we must start the countdown. We won't make it if we don't!'  
_

"'_Starting engine!' _

"'_Hey, wait a minute! Shera's still in here!' _

_"'What are you going to do, Cid? If we cancel now, it'll be another six months until the next launch!' _

"'_GODDAMMIT, Shera... you wanna make me a murderer?' _

"_I tried once more to tell him to just go on with it…_

_"'Tank Number 7 check is complete. Once I complete Tank Number 8, _

_it's all clear.'_

_"'Come on, Shera... hurry up... You're gonna die…' _

"'_30 seconds until ignition. Beginning countdown.' _

_"'Hey, wait a minute! Shera's still in here!' _

_"'Cid! Forget about her. We won't make it in time!' _

"'_What... what am I... What am I supposed to do...?' _

"'_15 seconds until ignition. Internal temperature rising.' _

"'_Oh man, the moon... outer space... my dreams...'_

_"'Ignite engine!' _

_"'SH------------IT!'_

"He pushed the Emergency Engine Shut Down switch, aborting the mission, to save my life. After that, the Space Program was cut back and the launch was canceled. It's my fault his dream was destroyed..."

She shook 'er head, an' said, "That's why... it's all right. I don't care what the Captain says, I'll live my life for him."

That was when I came back in. And dammit, she hadn't given 'em their tea!

She apologized, an' I sat down an' put a leg up on th'table. "Hurry up and sit down! Or ain't my hospitality good enough for ya!?"

I was still fidgety an' restless. "They're late... Where's Rufus...?"

An' 'en that Palmer guy came in… "Hey-HEY! Long time no see! So Cid, how ya been?"

"Well, if it ain't fat man, Palmer. How long were you figurin' on keepin' me waitin'!?" I hate that man. Fuckin' idiot. But I was a_ little_ happy t'see 'im then, 'cause I thought it meant Rufus was comin' t'let me know it was all startin' again. "So? When's the Space Program gonna start up again?"

"Hey-hey! I don't know. The President's outside, so why don't you ask him?"

"Shit! Good for nothing, fat fucker!" Huh. Guess m'mouth _has_ gotten better. Now I wonder whose fault that might be…

"Don't say 'fat'!" Yeah, like that was th'most insultin' thing I called 'im.

"Hey-hey! Tea! Can I have some too? With lotsa sugar and honey and... oh yeah, don't forget the lard!" Yeah, but he ain't fat. No, not at all. Who the fuck puts lard in his tea? An' it wasn't even his tea! It was fer Vince…oh yeah, an' the rest of 'em. Bet he drank it all, the fat-ass.

Cloud followed me out an' heard the tail end o' the conversation.

"What the.....! You got me all excited for nothing!? Then, what'd you come here for?"

"I want to borrow the Tiny Bronco. We're going after Sephiroth. But it seems like we're been going in the wrong direction. But now, we think we know where he's headed. But, we have to cross the ocean. That's why we want your plane..."

"Dammit! First the Airship, then the Rocket, and now the Tiny Bronco! ShinRa took outer space away from me and now you want to take

the sky away from me too!?"

"Oh my...you seem to forget it was because of ShinRa, Inc. that you were able to fly in the first place."

"What!?"

Vince agrees wi'me- I never needed them. Shera came out t'see what all the ruckus was.

"Uh, excuse me..."

She called Cloud over, back inta the house. "You wanted to use the _Tiny Bronco_, right?"

She told 'em t'talk t'Palmer, 'cause he was prob'ly gonna take it.

That still makes me mad. "Like hell he was! That fat-ass ridin' ma baby!" Vince, the perv, snorts. "Aw, shuddup." He's really makin' too much o' one slip-up…okay, done it more'n once, but still...

Well, when Cloud an' them walked out, they say 'im sittin' on the _Bronco_. "Hmm... Why do I have to do this...? I'm the head of the Space Program..."

Cloud walked up to 'im. "We'll be takin' that _Tiny Bronco_."

"I've seen you somewhere before...I know! The ShinRa building! When the President was killed! Ulp! Se... se... security!!"

They fought 'im in m'backyard. The _Bronco_ started up, an' the fat-ass almost got scalped. He ran off an' got hit by a truck. Cloud an' them got inta the _Bronco _an' jus' went, 'cause they couldn't figure out how t'stop 'er. I ran up t'join 'em an' caught on as she was leavin' the ground. The bastards shot at me an' damaged the plane.

"Shit!! The tail's been hit!"

"Emergency landing..."

"This's gonna be a big splash. Hold onto your drawers and don't piss in 'em!" Yeah, crude. But y'know what? I was about t'piss m'self. But not 'cause I was scared. I was gettin' out! My plane was takin' me somewhere! Plus, I had an intriguin' little vampire sittin' near me.

We crashed inta th'ocean. I remember that plain as day.

"She won't fly anymore."

"Can't we use it as a boat?"

"Shit! Do whatever you want!"

"Cid, what are you going to do now?"

"Dunno. I'm history with the ShinRa and I've given up on the town." Yet here I am.

"How 'bout your wife? How 'bout Shera?"

"Wife? Don't make me laugh! Just thinkin' 'bout marryin' her gives me the chills." But I married 'er later. Still dunno why, 'cept that I felt bad fer treatin' 'er like shit…so I guess I d'cided t'treat 'er like shit with a weddin' ring. "What're you guys gonna do?"

"We're going after a man named Sephiroth." I wasn't even payin' attention, but I noticed Vince duck 'is head into 'is collar from th'corner'a my eye. Didn't think nothin' of it, then. "We'll have to get Rufus of the Shinra someday too."

"I don't know about any of that, but..." I stood up. "What the hell!? Sign me up!"

"How 'bout it, everyone?"

"Of course, no problem!"

"Glad to be aboard, numbskulls!"

"Numbskulls...?"

"Yeah. Anyone stupid enough to go up against ShinRa nowadays, has GOTTA be a numskull! I like it!" I especially liked the one with the pretty red eyes. But I wasn't gonna say that. "So, where we headed? Rufus was goin' after Sephiroth towards the Temple of the

Ancients."

"Really!? ...Where is it, that Temple of the Ancients?"

"Dunno. That numbskull kid was tellin' me he was headin 'the wrong direction'... so maybe it's off this way?"

"Let's just head for land and get some information. Temple of the Ancients... that name bothers me."

We just kept goin', headin' over th'ocean, hopin' we'd find Sephiroth, or at least somethin'.

* * *

"I almost miss that."

"Floating on your broken airship?" I know he knows that ain't what I mean.

"Nah, all of us bein' close like that."

"Some of us are still close."

"Some of us are closer now'n we were b'fore."

"Some of us are very glad for that."

"Some of us…" Some of us wanna get even closer. "Yeah, alright. You win. Again."

"Of course I do. Hm. Chief?"

"Whazzat?"

He shakes 'is head an' looks down.

"What is it? Y'c'n tell me."

He looks…shy. Weird on him. An' then 'e reaches an arm out, just a little. I'm gonna die. O' course I move over to 'im.

"See? Toldja you could tell me," I say as wraps his arms around me, loose enough so I c'n get away if I want. He drops 'is head, an' I think I feel 'is lips open against m'temple, but I can't really tell.

We sit just like that –except I put my arms around him, too- until Shera comes in.

"Oh…am I interrupting?"

I expect 'im t'move away, pretend we weren't just sittin' on the couch like a coupla kids. Well, no, 'cause a coupla kids woulda been makin' out an' shit. An' I ain't gonna say I wouldn't like that, but…not yet. Just like how he doesn't move away just yet.

"S'alright, Shera."

"Okay, Captain. I'll go make tea."

"A'right."

I feel 'im smile against m'head. I think he presses a kiss there b'fore he leaves, an' he leaves real slow, not like how 'e did when 'e took off th'other night b'fore I found 'im holdin' the gun.

It feels good, knowin' he doesn't wanna leave me. I'm just a little sad I didn't jump on the chance t'run m'hands through 'is hair while 'e was right by me. I reckon I'll get another chance later. Maybe even later t'day. Who knows? I'm just glad he's okay. Was worried fer a while.

Yeah, I'll be able t'sleep easy t'night if no shit happens durin' the day. Better knock on wood. Sayin' stuff like that attracts mess.

Shera whips up a quick lunch with the tea, an' I decide t'take a day fer me, away from the mechanics –yeah, it's ma passion, but sometimes a man needs a break- an' ever'thin'.

I grab a book an' go sit out on the back porch an' read. An' smoke, o' course, but mostly read.

* * *

LOL, what is she doing? By she, of course, I mean the author. And if she- well, I- could tell you, I would. But I don't think there's a real answer. Thanks, guys....


	13. End of the Trail Return of the Beast

Eventful chapter as an object of appeasement. A bunch of stuff happens, but nothing _happens_. Next chapter, I will focus on progression in the relationship that's taking so long to, uh, progress.

Everyone, welcome Squall to the stage. Not Leon, Squall. And a few others. And then prepare to usher them away as they fade into the background, imported for this chapter and this chapter only, as far as I can tell. Why? I wanted new toys. And I will do the childish thing and throw them away after the initial use. After that, I can be found playing with the box they came in 

Disclaimer: Don't own anyone from any of the FFs or KHs.

Speaking of which, we have reached the end of disc one! Which means there are spoilers in this chapter, as there have been before.

26 pages and over 8000 words of actual story! And LOL, I attempted to write action. Epic fail…

This will be the last weekly update, I think. I'm moving on to two weeks between chapters, which will hopefully result in chapters much better than this one. 'Cause this one kinda stinks. But it does have a bit of a point.

* * *

S'one more thing I get lost doin'. Y'wouldn't think it t'look at me, but I do like t'read. An' it ain't all jus' mechanics-related stuff.

Vince comes out 'bout two hours after I first came out here, sayin' Reeve called an' 'e'd like us t'be out there t'morra, ready t'go at about ten in the mornin'. Grand Openin' weekend.

"That's pretty short notice. How'd 'e spread the news so fast?"

"Apparently he built up the buzz before finding the fighters."

"Well that ain't no good. What it nobody'd showed?"

"He has monsters on backup, a small army of Cait Siths, and the ability to project very realistic holograms onto the field."

"Oh. So why's 'e need us?"

He shakes 'is head.

"Wanna spend the night out there? Be easier."

"We probably should."

Yeah. And damn, that ruins all ma progress, don't it? Maybe. We'll see.

"Well, I guess we can eat dinner here, whaddaya say?"

"Sounds like a plan. I should pack."

"You _un_packed?"

He ducks 'is head. "My things have been in the dresser."

"Huh." Aw…wait, aw? What's wrong with me…? "Well, don't pack too much. Y're comin' back, right?"

"Right."

Why'd I agree t'do this again? Can't remember. Don't _wanna _go nowhere.

I go upstairs t'pack, too, so I ain't stuck in the same pair o' clothes fer three days again. That ain't fun.

I decide a shower b'fore we leave wouldn't hurt. So I go downstairs an' throw m'suitcase by the door.

"Shera! Get dinner goin', eh? Y'comin' with us?"

"Um…where are you going?"

"Reeve's new bright idea. A monster arena or some shit. Wants us t'fight."

"Uh…no, I don't think so. I don't much like the idea of watching people get torn to shreds."

"It ain't gonna be- well, alright. I c'n see yer point. See y'in a couple days, then. Well, we're gonna eat first. Get cookin', woman!"

"It's only three."

"Yeah, well, slow as you move, it'll be six b'fore we're done eatin', so there."

"Alright."

I go back upstairs an' open the bathroom door.

"Fuck, Vince, I'm sorry!"

I close the door an' sit down, leanin' against the door. Damn, I'm too old t'react like this…an' he's laughin'!

"Aw, shut the fuck up in there!"

"Sorry, Chief."

"Yeah, well…lemme know when y're done…never mind, I'm goin' downstairs. Leave yer suitcase by the door so we don't forget, a'right?"

"Right."

Right. Now it's time fer a cold shower. Fuck…kinda wanna go peek again. Shouldn't. He might not mind, though. But then, he's prob'ly in the shower by now…mm, yeah, with the hot water runnin' over 'im, an'…no. Bad Captain. Oh fuck, that didn't help…

Somehow I get downstairs an' make it t'the bathroom. Well, I could just…nah. Vince'll be all I'll be able t'think about, an' it just seems…disrespectful. So cold shower it is.

An' that leads me t'this. I'm naturally aggressive. Ain't nothin' I c'n do about it. F'I was in the middle o' tryin'a get in anybody else's pants, I prob'ly woulda jumped 'im by now. But Vince…I respect 'im too damn much. It's time fer me t'figure out if he appreciates that or if 'e wants me t'let go on 'im. 'Cause, honestly, I could go on doin' either, so long as it's him. An' it won't ever be anybody else, not fer me. Not like this.

Shit.

I get out after maybe fifteen minutes. I get dressed real slow, 'cause I know Shera ain't done cookin' yet an' no significant amount o' time's passed.

Well, I gotta leave the room eventually. Fine, I'll go now.

An' Vince, o' course, is sittin' at the table with Shera.

"Sure y'don't wanna come, Shera?"

"I'm sure. Thank you for offering, though." Yeah, I know she's surprised by it. Wouldn't've asked 'er if…why _did_ I ask 'er? Huh.

I sit down at the table across from Shera an' sorta kitty-corner t'Vince. She gets up t'check the stuff in th'oven.

He leans in. "Like what you saw, Chief?"

"Dammit Vince, don't do that!"

He laughs again.

"Glad I amuse ya. Y'oughta treat me better, y'know? Coulda stayed in there, left the door open, somethin'." Recorded it. Yeah, coulda done that.

"Thank you for controlling yourself," he says, but I think I c'n hear a little bit o' "I wish you wouldn't be so careful with me" underneath it. Mmm…

"What now?"

"Nothin', Shera. Almost done?"

"Not even close. You're anxious, hm? Maybe you should go check on the ship, make sure she's up for the trip?"

Never been more grateful t'the girl in my life. Prob'ly never will be, either. "Yeah, good idea. Thanks."

I walk out an' hear 'er ask Vince, "Did he just thank me?"

He smirks –I know 'e does, even though I can't see- an' don't say anythin'.

I'm damned glad t'get outta there. He was really gonna make the most o' that, wasn't 'e? Never thought o' him as bein' so sadistic…oh, shit. Don't need more t'think about…

So I waste time double checkin' shit that didn't needa be checked. Feel like Shera. 'Sept m'life ain't on the line for it…can't believe she thought I woulda let 'er die. I ain't never been that cruel!

"We all know that."

Damn, I gotta pay more attention. Keep talkin' without knowin' I'm talkin'…ugh, wonder if I do it in m'sleep? Sure hope not. "Y'r'a bad influence, y'know that?"

"I thought I was a good influence?"

"Yeah, I don't think I talked t'm'self b'fore I started hangin' out with ya."

"Is that so?"

"Yeah, that's so. Callin' me crazy?"

"Maybe just a little. And dinner's ready; I was supposed to let you know."

"Oh. Now I gotta shower again…wouldja believe it? Fell inta that bucket over there." I nod at the bucket.

He wrinkles his nose. It's fuckin' adorable. "What's in it?"

"Rust 'n' water. Not too healthy t'keep around, but…well."

"You didn't get cut on anything, did you?" Health freak.

"Just you, th'other night. Think I oughta re-clean 'em?"

"You haven't been doing that anyway?"

"Well, no…" Peroxide fuckin' stings!

He closes 'is eyes, I think he just barely keeps himself from smackin' 'is forehead at me. "Time to go back, anyway. You make sure you clean those before we leave."

"Yessir."

He shakes his head. "You won't, will you?"

"Do I hafta use peroxide?"

"I've seen you nearly torn to bits and you're afraid of peroxide?"

"Ain't afraid. Jus' don't like deliberately makin' m'self hurt."

"Yet you sign up to fight for fighting's sake."

"S'different."

"How so?"

I shrug. "Just is."

He shakes 'is head again.

We walk back t'the house -which ain't far, o' course, not far at all- an' Shera's puttin' plates on the table as we're walkin' in.

"Captain, you're dirty."

"An' don't I know it." Tch.

"Well…I suppose you should eat first, though I hesitate to let you sit at the table like that…ah, well. It'll get cold if you don't eat now, and dirt comes off. But please don't sit next to me, hm?"

"Don't worry 'bout that. Have I ever?"

"Well, no…"

"So there." I sit down an' start eatin'. I thought about puttin' a foot up on the table just t'piss 'er off, but it's bad manners, an' Vince is here. Yeah. Yeah, that's good reasonin'.

I eat in a hurry, 'cause I'm kinda drenched an' its kinda uncomf'table.

I leave without excusin' m'self.

I shower quick, an' wash m'hair again, 'cause I dunno what's growin' in that bucket.

I get out an' dry off, an' realize m'clothes're in my room. So I wrap the towel around me an' hope I don't run inta nobody. They're prob'ly still in the kitchen, but just in case, I yell out, "Hey! Don't nobody look, alright?" as I walk out.

I get inta my room safe. I grab a pair o' jeans an' a shirt an' throw 'em on.

Vince knocks on the door. "Did you put peroxide on those cuts?"

"…No."

"Then come here."

"Don't wanna…"

"I will force you."

I open m'mouth t'say "Ooh, sounds kinky," but I prob'ly shouldn't…so I'll just keep whinin'. "That ain't fair…"

"It is fair. You won't take care of yourself properly if left to your own devices, or so it seems. It falls to me, then, to see that your hand doesn't get infected and require amputation."

"I don't want ma hand cut off!"

"Then take proper care of it." He's standin' right behind me. When'd he get it here? It's very distractin'. An' it ain't fair. "Now, Cid." Teacher-voice.

"Fine…" Why does he always win?

"Come on."

I follow 'im inta the bathroom, reluctantly, but behavin'. He parks my ass on the closed toilet an' grabs m'hand.

"Be still."

I just watch as he pours the awful stuff over m'hand. He was right; they're scarrin' fer sure. They cut from about halfway up the back o' m'hand an' get deeper as they go b'tween m'fingers. They're pretty deep fer maybe a centimeter or two on the palm, but he was standin' by then, an' he was lettin' go.

I watch the peroxide sizzle an' try not t'hiss as it burns. He washes it off an' dries the hand all the way b'fore he looks at me, looks back at the hand, an' raises it to 'is mouth. He bends the fingers down t'make a fist –still hurts a little- an' kisses in-between my fingers an' the skinny part on th'outside where 'is pinky got me. He looks at me one more time b'fore he lets go o' ma hand.

"Better?"

"Better."

"Let's go."

"Thanks, Vince."

"It was m-"

"Don't say your fault."

"I wasn't going to."

"I don't believe ya." What else would 'e've said?

"I suppose I shouldn't expect you to."

"Well, like y'said, let's go."

We grab our suitcases an' head out the door.

"'Bye, boys! Have fun!"

We get inta the _Shera _an' head off fer Kalm.

"Hey, Vince. Call Reeve an' tell 'im we're headin' in t'night an' we better get rooms free."

"No."

"Why not?"

"I'm afraid he might 'accidentally' arrange things so that I have to share his room."

"He better not."

"Precisely why I'm not calling him."

"An' that's what ya meant by pushin'?"

"Hm." That's affirmative.

We touch down maybe an' hour after that- it was comf'table this time, so I took it slow. "Regular old inn okay with you?"

"Yes."

"'Kay. I'll go get the rooms."

"Rooms?"

"Y'wanted t'share?"

"I was under the impression that we'd be sharing, yes."

"Well, I ain't complainin'. I'll go get the room."

"I've got the luggage."

He stands behind me 'til we get a room number. 28. How extraordinary.

He leads me t'the room an' I open the door, since he's carryin' the stuff. He sets the cases on the floor an' then points out that they done set us up in a one-bedroom.

"Well, th'place _is_ crowded."

"Do you mind?"

"That a serious question?"

"I thought I should ask." He shrugs.

"Well, you mind?"

"Not at all."

Soon as we get inta the room, Vince's phone rings. He picks it up.

"_Vincent?"_

"Reeve."

"_I wasn't sure if you were coming up tonight or waiting until tomorrow, but as you may find it hard to acquire rooms-"_

"We're already in town. We have a room, too."

"_Just one? Oh, I knew it'd be full. If you need the space, I've got-"_

"We're fine, thank you."

"_Oh. Well then, I'll see you tomorrow."_

"Goodnight, Reeve."

Reeve don't answer. Guess 'e hung up already. "Sorry, Vince."

"I didn't mean to say just one room…but he needs to know, I suppose…"

"Know what?"

He sighs. "That I'm…not- accessible. I'm…not, am I?"

…Lemme get this straight. He just…? "I…you sure?"

"Yes."

"Damn."

"The good kind, I hope?"

"Yeah, the good kind. The 'damn, I'm lucky' kind."

He smiles. "There's more to it than luck."

"That so?"

He nods. "We should get some sleep. We need to be there early."

"Hate gettin' up early."

"It'll be worth it. You'll have fun."

"Hope so. I ain't tired. Know what I think?"

"What's that?"

"I think y'should talk t'me s'more."

"I can do that."

We lay down an' get comf'table, which means he takes down 'is hair an' I take off m'goggles. He reaches out fer me but pulls 'is hand back.

"Hey. You listen'a me. Whatever you want, 'kay? Heh, don't hafta worry 'bout me not wantin' it."

"You leave yourself open for far too much." He sighs, laughin', an' reaches his hand back out. He brushes it real light 'cross m'face, like he's pushin' back hair, 'cept I don't have that problem. Then 'e cups th'back o' my head an' makes me look at 'im. He shakes 'is head an' lets me go, sits up, an' starts talkin'.

* * *

Well, I was there from that part on, really…but it's still better when Vince talks about it. We floated aimlessly on the _Bronco_ fer awhile b'fore we ended up by the Gold Saucer. We went in this little place an' the guy there told us 'bout the keystone. We traced it t'the manager at the Saucer an' went after it. He made Cloud fight an' then gave us the thing. We were all excited 'cause we were on our way t'the Temple of Ancients, soon as we figured out where it was…

I shared a room with Vince that night, too. He says he watched me sleep. Funny, 'cause I watched him sleep. We musta took turns.

He says he could tell somethin' was off the whole time, that somethin' wasn't right. An' then when the damn cat gave the stone over t'the Turks, that was prob'ly what he'd been feelin'.

When 'e threatened us with Marlene…wanted t'kick the bastard's ass. Vince says it still makes 'im mad, an' knowin' it was Reeve kinda only makes it worse, even though Reeve was sorry an' changed 'is ways.

An' then, we got t'the temple…Vince knew Tseng a little when 'e was still with ShinRa. Tseng was a new recruit, one o' the youngest they'd had. They didn't know each other too well, but…Vince felt bad seein' 'im hurt. But he cares 'bout Aerith- or maybe Zack, Vince says- an' he told us what t'do.

When we found Sephiroth after seein' 'im but not seein' 'im, Vince was sadder'n 'e had been in 'is nightmares. If I woulda known then, I woulda held 'im all the way. I never woulda let 'im be alone the way 'e was. We were so selfish, all of us…even if we didn't know it was his boy, we knew it was his girl's kid. An' that shoulda been enough fer us t'notice how hard it was on 'im…

Vince cried when 'e heard Sephiroth's plan about meteor, about b'comin' one wi'th'planet. None of us noticed that, either. Can't believe he's even tellin' me somethin' like that.

An' then Cloud freaked some more, nothin' new…

Stupid dragon attacked us…I got knocked out. Heh, too bad. But hell, they handled it on their own.

Vince wanted t'smack 'is forehead when th'idiot kid d'cided t'shake the model o' the room. It was obvious ta Vince what was gonna happen, but he kept 'is mouth shut, like always.

An' Reeve thinks givin' up a Cait Sith makes up fer all the shit- well, it did fer the time bein'. Vince was impressed. Then we got the materia, an' the dumbass kid gave it t'Sephiroth…damn mind-control powers. Vince was horrified. I was pissed. I cussed, he didn't say anything.

We got to Gongaga not too long after. S'where Spiky's buddy's from. Vince recognized the place from 'is dreams, but didn't say anything. Of course. An' he liked it there, he says. Maybe we'll go visit soon.

When Barrett started in yellin' at Cloud about how it was his fault…well, I just wanted 'em t'hush up so I could sleep. Vince wanted t'punch Barrett's lights out. 'Cause it ain't like Spiky coulda hung onto 'imself with Sephiroth controllin' 'im, an' it ain't like Sephiroth was really 'imself, either. Vince knew both o' those things. He tried t'say somethin' that time, but nobody listened. Guess that's why he didn't bother talkin' most o' the time.

But maybe Barrett heard anyway, even though 'e pretended not to, 'cause a couple seconds later he was all, "hey, ain't nothin' we c'n do about it, it ain't yer fault." Dumbass.

Took us f'rever t'get the damn Lunar Harp. Vince wondered the whole time why they even bothered, 'cause Aerith knew an' tried t'let 'em know she wasn't comin' back. It was stupid of 'em t'think they could save 'er, but they- we- were gonna try anyway. An' we did, but…

When Cloud woke us up, I remember tellin' 'im we had t'get movin', couldn't just sit around on our asses. But I think I knew what we'd find, sorta. Vince did, but he came along with us anyway.

An' then the sonuvabitch (I don't feel too bad thinkin' it, if I remember it was all Jenova's fault…so I guess I oughta say the bitch, really…) killed Aerith, an' we fought the stupid piece of it. It told Spiky he was nothin' but a puppet. Vince says those are prob'ly some o' the last words Cloud's ever taken t'heart. I'm glad he's got someone now. Maybe that'll help 'im. I mean, he's been doin' better, but…

Well, after that, Spiky laid Aerith t'rest in the spring. An' Vince says it hurt 'im when Cloud said he'd never forgive Sephiroth. He wanted t'scream that it wasn't Sephiroth's fault any more than it was Spiky's, an' that nobody should blame anythin' on Lucrecia's child, 'cause that child had never been anythin' but beautiful an' sad. Kinda like Vince. But once again, he held it in. An' once again, if I'd known…I woulda done more'n reassure Cloud we'd stick with 'im an' keep an eye on 'im. I woulda said that still, yeah, but then I woulda stuck wi'Vince an' let 'im scream all he wanted to. He coulda used ma shoulder. Hell, he coulda used both of 'em.

But we set off t're-get the black materia, an' Vince vowed t'avenge Aerith, 'cause if there was one of us shouldn't'a died, it was her. Fer all the mischief she got up to, she was a good girl.

* * *

"I believe that was when I knew the trail had run out. I'd suspected before, but at that point, after having set out to find answers and finding nothing positive, nothing good, I knew I would have to start over. There was never a better group of people to be with while trying to start over."

I dunno what t'say. So I don't say nothin'.

He does."We need drinks."

"Huh?"

"I feel we should toast to her memory. I always do when I think of her."

"Well, I'm sure she'd just be happy we're all still takin' care of each other."

"Hm."

"C'mon, time t'go t'sleep."

"It certainly is."

I ain't really tired, though. Thinkin' too much, now that I know how much 'e felt durin' all that…I'm gonna make it up to 'im. I really am. Yep…

I wake up snuggled against Vince. Guess I was tired. S'a lot colder over here than it is in Rocket Town, this time o' year. Plus, our a/c unit in the room's broke an' won't go off.

I start t'get up an' then realize he has an arm around me.

"Vince?"

His arm tightens. That mean 'e's awake or is it just a reflex?

I try t'sit up again', an' he still don't let go. Okay, I know 'e's stubborn, but he'd let me up if he was awake, right? …Right?

So then, that means…he's more expressive when 'e's asleep? Or…somethin'?

"Vince. Gotta get up. S'already seven-thirty."

"Hm."

"Are you even awake?"

He don't answer. I try t'get away from 'im again, but he ain't lettin' me go… "Hey, c'mon. At least lemme up. Gotta pee."

I don't really, but maybe it'll make 'im let go.

No such luck.

"Vince, baby"- shit, I did it again- "time t'get up. C'mon, you wouldn't let me just lay there."

I pull m'head back as much as I can t'look at 'im. His eyes are closed, he looks all asleep an' stuff…but that don't mean anything.

"Hey! Y'hear me?"

"I heard you the first time, Chief. Calm down."

"We gotta get up, though."

"Not right this instant."

"But soon. C'mon, it's been…eight minutes since I started tryin'a get away. Lemme go."

"Why?" He's smilin' like a little kid. His eyes're still closed, though.

"'Cause, dammit, we have a c'mittment."

"Fine."

He pushes me away, like he's mad. I know better.

I go to the bathroom an' get dressed an' walk out t'find 'im in 'is "I'm gonna kick the shit outta ya" outfit. An' wouldja look at that? He brought more guns with 'im than I thought.

"Ready, then?"

"We're late."

"An' whose fault is that?"

"Yours."

"I don't think so, Vince."

"If you hadn't made me so comfortable-"

"Oh, now that just ain't fair."

He smirks. "Let's go."

I follow 'im out the door 'n' down t'the arena. Reeve's standin' out front waitin' fer all the people who signed up, an' takin' money in exchange fer tickets t'watch.

"Ah, there you are! I worried that you wouldn't show up."

"Aw, we're here. Wouldn't'a backed out on ya. Hey, tell ya what. Since we're late, we'll buy tickets, too. How's that?"

"Not necessary, but I appreciate the donation. Thank you, Cid." I hand over th'money an' let 'im keep the tickets.

"Fer the whole keepin' attendance thing."

"Oh, I hadn't thought of that. Thank you."

We head on in t'the room he d'rected us to. Guess we are the last ones here, 'cause ever'one else is already waitin'. All o' AVALANCHE, at least, an' some people I don't know. Hell, there's even Turks.

"Hey, you guys."

"How ya doin', Spike?"

"Fine. Um…have you met Squall?" He grabs the shoulder of the brunet talkin' t'Tifa an' swings 'im around t'face us. The guy raises 'is eyebrows at Cloud an' I notice a scar across 'is face.

"Can't say I have. Heard about 'im, though. Cid. Nice t'meetcha."

"Mm." He shakes m'hand an'turns back ta Tifa.

"Seems, uh, nice."

"Well, he is, somewhere in there. So um, Vincent's staying with you?"

"Livin' with me, actually."

"Oh?"

"Yeah, kinda s'prised me, too."

I look over at Vince, who's talkin' t'Red an' Yuffie. Barrett's talkin' t'Shelke, prob'ly askin' 'er about Marlene. There's a Cait Sith or two runnin' aroun', _sans _mog. Maybe they're on security? S'what it looks like.

"Hey, get offa me, yo!"

Well, I know who that is. I turn around t'see what's goin' on. The ninja brat musta got bored with Vince, 'cause she was messin' with that Reno.

"Give it back!"

"I don't have anything! Lemme go!"

Well, it's amusin', but only fer about two seconds…'cause I'm bored.

S'a guy with a bunch o' bright colored rings 'r somethin', an' looks like he has a ship here, too. Maybe he brought ever'one else in?

"Oh, hey, Vince. Check all this out, huh? Don't look t'me like he needed us." I watch a skinny kid with almost purplish hair pry a poutin' blond off 'im. "Where'd he even dig all these guys up? Heh, look! S'a blonde Yuffie."

The chick I pointed at was bouncin' up an' down, pullin' on some other girl's hand. Th'other girl was dressed almost as skimpy as the blonde one.

"I have no idea where he found them. They do make a rather amusing bunch, don't they?"

"Sure do."

"_Competitors! Please report to the front gates to draw numbers!" _

We all head out there- hones'ly s'like a rampage, ever'body's so excited. Me an' Vince end up in the back, 'cause we ain't kids anymore, y'know? I mean, not t'say we're old or nothin', but…well, we ain't as worked up, is all.

We end up b'hind Spiky 'n' his boy. "Hey. Y'all know how this is gonna work? 'Cause we just kinda got recruited th'other day."

"It's an elimination thing. We draw numbers, and then for every match, Reeve or someone pulls two numbers and that determines who fights. The winners' numbers are kept in, and they're randomly paired up later, and so on until it's down to one."

"Hey, Vince. Give ya three guesses who's gonna win."

"I hardly think that's necessary, Chief. Frankly I'm surprised he's being allowed to participate."

"Hey, stop it…"

"Jus' teasin' ya, kid. Relax."

"Twelve? What kind of stupid number is that?"

We all look at each other an' start laughin'. "Gotta be Yuffie."

Vince, bein' the tallest one of us, looks over the crowd an' confirms it.

"You know she came to visit us after she visited you guys last week."

"An' that's how y'got hold o' the rumors, huh?"

"Yeah."

That's it fer the conversation. Vince c'n see more'n us- two inches makes a helluva lot o' diff'rence, y'know? -so he watches people an' smiles every so often. I don't even bother askin'. The guys in front of us are more int'rested in each other than us by now. That ain't somethin' I wanna see, either…

Finally, we're at the gate an' we get the bottom o' the hat. We ain't the _last_-last ones, but we're close. I make Vince pick first, an' he pulls out a piece o' paper. I grab "5". That's almost as original as our room number.

"Whatcha got?"

"Three."

"Eh."

"You're acting as if there was a chance my answer would have been interesting."

"Well, y'coulda had…I dunno, six-hundred-an'-thirty-seven, or somethin'."

"I don't think that's likely, as there are only sixteen contenders."

"S'gonna be a long day."

"That's true."

We all head back an' wait fer the matches t'be assigned.

First up ends up bein' Barrett against that silvery-purple haired kid. Kid wipes the floor with the big guy, too. Shame we didn't have him on our side fightin' Sephiroth. Woulda gone faster. Then it's Tifa an' that brunette Turk. I think Tifa musta been distracted, 'cause somehow she lost. To a girl! Dammit, Tifa!

"_Five and four, please report to the arena! Five and four!"_

"Well, that's me! Wish me luck, Vince?"

"Hm. You'll need it." He nods at Shelke, who's standin' up. "Good luck. Mm." He curls 'is hand at me, tellin'n me to go to 'im. I get a good luck peck on the cheek b'fore I go.

"Aw, I c'n handle her."

Damn, I'm likin' this…that's a lotta action when it's comin' from him. Might have t'fight more often. 'Course now I'm distracted.

I go out, an' Shelke's already on th'other side o' the ring, psychin' 'erself up, I guess. I know she ain't as strong now as what she was b'fore she left the Sviets, but she's still fast an' prob'ly fairly strong. She just ain't superhuman anymore.

The whistle sounds, an' she rushes at me. I don't even know what she fights with now! Shit…

But I knock 'er away right off, an' she charges right back.

She's startin'a slow down. She can't be worn out already, huh?

I get her exactly as far away as I'd need her f'I wanted t'run 'er through, which means I win, 'cause she's at my mercy.

Guess she ain't back up t'full strength yet. 'Cause I know she gave Vince a run fer 'is money not too long ago. I drop Venus Gospel an' listen t'the crowd cheer.

Feels good t'be in the center of attention. Sorta an empty vict'ry, though…guess she was just in it fer fun, like me. I ain't expectin' t'make it much further, not with Spiky still in the runnin'. At least, I'm sure 'e will be.

We head back in.

"Good fight, Cid Highwind."

"You too, girl. Y'haven't been really trainin', have ya?"

"No. I entered only because Reeve asked us."

"Yeah, me too."

I don't get t'see Vince b'fore he goes, 'cause he's on 'is way out as I'm walkin' in. The guy with the rings an' puffy-ish sleeves is in front of 'im.

Well this oughta be int'restin'. The hell's up with all these people with guns, anyway?

I climb up on the boxes an' shit t'try an' get a better look out at the pit.

On the way up, I hear, "At least you won't have to admit you lost to anyone short of the leading man."

The pompous idiot's on the side I was on, an' Vince has Cerberus aimed dead at 'im already. Suddenly the "leading man" moves an' the bullet hits the wall, an' then they both run t'wards each other almost too fast t'see.

I flinch when Vince gets whacked around a little. It ain't so easy fightin' at close range with a gun, least not while yer opponent's constantly attackin'. Don't have time t'focus. So how's th'other guy managin' it so well? Must practice a lot.

An' here comes the claw. Kid wasn't expectin' that, an' we can hear 'im yelp when he takes a hit 'cross the face.

"Get 'im, Vince!"

"Yeah! Kick his ass!" Yuffie, 'course.

Vince manages t'knock 'im back a good bit with a couple hits from the metal, an' then not-Vince finds 'imself with a gun in 'is face.

"Even a leading man takes a day off every now and then."

"Yeah!" Ninja yells at the same time I do, an' tries t'hug me from where she is, two feet b'low me. What happens is that she hits m'legs an' I collapse back t'the ground.

I jump up, ready t'pummel the brat. "Dammit, girl-"

"_Twelve and fourteen, you're up! That's twelve and fourteen!"_

"Alright!"

"Yay!"

I look at Vince. "Look, s'Yuffie vs. Yuffie."

"Should be interesting."

"Y'looked pretty good out there. Took y'awhile t'get started, though."

"I went easy on him."

"I know y'did. Didn't get t'wish you good luck, though."

He smiles an' gives me a "what're ya waitin' for?" look, so I step up an' return 'is "wish."

"Mm."

Yeah.

He looks at me, an' I think maybe he's thinkin' what I'm thinkin…

"Yipe!"

Well, that ruins the moment. Gotta see what I c'n see now.

The girls pretty much fight the same way, 'cept that blonde one uses knuckles an' claws an' shit, like Tifa. S'almost creepy how much alike they are.

The blonde does a somersault an' tries t'kick the brat in the face, but she misses an' goes head over heels an' ends up flat on 'er back. Yuffie pins 'er down with 'er shuriken, a point on each side of 'er head.

"Not good…"

"Ha!"

They come back in all gigglin' an' shit as Nanaki an' the blonde's friend head out. Still tryin'a figure out why we're all in the same room. Seems pretty dumb.

Well, Nanaki don't really like t'fight, so…well, it don't last long. An' he's the only non-human entrant here t'day anyway. He's here 'cause Reeve asked, like the rest of us.

So the tallish girl with the stupid braid an' short-shorts comes back in all bouncy an' happy an' shit, an' Nanaki walks back in with 'is tail droopin'. Dunno why. Ain't like he woulda been proud of 'imself fer winnin'…

Cloud goes out next, an' that other blond. As that other one's carryin' an instrument…No way Spiky's gonna even break a sweat.

He don't, either. The fightin' musician pulls some kinda water trick, but Spiky likes his lightnin', y'know? So that's over almost b'fore it starts.

That leaves Turkey-boy an' Cloud's boyfriend. I guess that's what 'e is, anyway.

Reno looks all proud of 'imself –he always does- an' Squall (think that's 'is name, anyway…) just looks bored. He's got some kinda weirdo weapon…right, gunblade. Heard about that one. Guns again, dang. What's up with this? Maybe I oughta switch over.

He fights with it like a sword now, an' crosses "blades" wi'Reno's electro-rod thing a couple times. Turkey don't ever lose that smug look, not 'til 'e looks down an' notices he ain't holdin' nothin' no more.

"Oh, shit."

"_And that concludes the preliminary round! Congratulations to those of you who moved on. There will be a half-hour intermission during which time you may recuperate and prepare for the next round. To those who didn't make it through, please exit the waiting room and move to the stands. Thank you."_

"Well, that leaves eight of us, huh? Mm." I kick back on the bale o' hay I found a second ago. Vince sits on th'edge an' th'others kinda crowd around us. Dunno why they wanna do that…

Well, we pretty much just chill fer the half hour. Those fights weren't nothin', really. I mean, I'm a little outta shape, yeah, but they were still just there t'separate the serious contenders from the kiddies. Or from the drunks.

Nobody talks much, 'cept that one girl, an' nobody listens to 'er. Vince sits by me until I try t'pull 'im down. He gets pissed an' walks off. Be hearin' about watchin' the PDA later. Heh. The group breaks up after that.

Cloud an'…yeah, Squall, that's 'is name…go off t'get food or somethin', an' Yuffie pesters Vince. Little emo kid sits alone an' stares at a wall and the Turk girl distracts Yuffie fer Vince's sake. She seems diff'rent from other Turks. Nicer. Maybe not. I dunno.

"_Contenders, please return to the waiting area and prepare yourselves. You have five minutes…"_

The rest o' the message is drowned out by the crowd. They musta been bored. Heck, we were too.

"Well, here we go. Round Two."

"Hey! I'm gonna win, y'know!"

"Heh, yeah right, Ms. Great Ninja Yuffie. Y'realize y'aint ever beat Spiky?"

"Well maybe I won't have to fight him."

"Y'really think anybody in this room's gonna beat 'im?"

"Squall could, huh Squally?"

"Uh-"

"_Five and one, you're up!"_

"Whozzat? Oh, gunner…whatcha think, Vince? C'n I handle 'er?"

"I hope so. Go. You were late last time."

"Right."

Well, 've sparred with Vince b'fore. This girl can't really be too dif'rent. Well, dif'rent, yeah, but not in the fightin'. I mean, y'c'n only do so much with a gun, right?

She's just ridiculously complicated. All them flips 'n' stuff…Damn, Vince musta been takin' it easy on me all those times.

I dodge a coupla shots b'fore she starts shootin' magic. C'mon, really? M'outta shape, dammit…

She does a flip an' lands right in front o' me, like she's gonna get me in the chest an' it'll all be over, but I ain't slow. I knock the gun outter hands an' we both watch it skitter off a few feet. She moves like she's gonna punch me an' I reach around b'hind 'er an' push 'er off t'the side. She loses balance an' trips a little- maybe on that stupid half-skirt people insist on wearin'. She don't fall, but she's distracted enough f'r me get the tip o' Venus to 'er throat.

Lame endin' -lame _fight_, dammit- but I won. Crowd's cheerin' again, an' I'm actually breathin' a little heavy this time. Damn, I need t'start workin' out again…

She walks off all ego-bruised an' I go back t'Vince. He shakes 'is head at me. "That was terrible."

"Yeah, I know."

"You're losing your touch."

"Not in ever'thin'."

"Hm."

Eh. He forgave me. Cool. Bet I'm still gonna get that lecture, though…

"_Twelve and eight!"_

Ninja brat an' Cloud's Squall walk out, her bein' all hyperactive an' him bein' all cool an' calm. I ain't even gonna bother watchin' this one…brat's gettin' taken out. Fer sure.

………………..

Heh. Whoops.

"I told you I'd win! Didn't believe me, did you, old man?"

"Ain't over yet."

"_Two and three!"_

"Whoa…guess y're out, Vince. Heh, good luck…"

"I suppose I'll try anyway."

"Yeah. Don't getcherself hurt too bad, y'hear?"

"I'll be careful."

As entertainin' as it is watchin' Vince fight –Cloud too, really- I don't feel like seein' 'im lose. So'm gonna lay here.

……………

"S'goin' on?" Crowd's screamin' like there's a monster out there…oh fuck.

I climb up back onta the wall an' see Cloud fightin' the fuckin' Galian Beast.

"Get 'im outta there!"

Ain't nobody gonna hear me from here…I force m'way out through the back door an' work up t'Reeve. "Get 'im th'fuck outta there! He ain't s'posed t'have…it ain't right, dammit! Get 'im out!"

At least Spiky's noticed he ain't right. He stops fightin'. So does Vince. The crowd…they're disappointed now. Sick fuckers!

An' then Reeve, too- "Come on, Vincent! Get back in there!"

"I said get 'im outta there, dammit!"

Fin'ly, after somebody in the crowd throws an empty soda can at 'im –at _Vince, _at _Vincent Valentine, _at _him- _an' he leaps at the sonuvabitch who done it, Reeve listens to me an' has 'em end th'match an' pull Vince out.

He don't fight 'em at first, but then one of 'em raises a gun an' he goes t'attack. I dunno how, but they hear me when I tell 'em t'just talk to 'im real nice an' he'll behave.

By the time I get down there –Reeve would be at the top o' the stands while Vince's all th'way down in the pit- they done insulted 'im further.

They put 'im in a fuckin' monster cage. "Lemme in."

"We can't let you in, it's not safe, that thing in there, it'll-"

"Ain't no 'it' in there! Lemme the fuck in, dammit!"

"I'm sorry sir, I can't-"

I snatch the keys an' go in. "Vince?" I guess it's okay t'call 'im 'baby' now, 'e can't be embarrassed about it.

"Hey, baby. I know y're in there. Fightin' like that ran y'inta overdrive, huh? S'alright now, it's over. C'mere."

He backs against the wall, still as the Galian Beast.

"No, honey, I ain't gonna hurt you. It's Cid, Vince. C'mon, s'alright. Gotta calm down, so we c'n getcha outta here. Dontcha wanna go home?"

He drops t'all four feet (which ain't even typical fer Galian) an' inches a little closer. I reach out a hand, keepin' it under 'is snout, palm down. He comes a little closer, sniffs it, snarls an' backs away.

"Wha- oh. I'm sorry, I fergot." I take off m'gloves an' try again. It takes a while, he paces fer a bit, but I guess he's figured out I ain't goin' anywhere so 'e better at least check me out again.

He walks over an' snuffles a little, seems t'decide I'm alright. Don't growl or take off, at least.

"That's right, it's me. Just Chief. C'mon back, Vince."

Beast sits, like a baby who just fell on 'is ass learnin' t'walk. Then 'e pulls 'is knees up to 'is face an' covers 'is head with 'is arms. He lets out a pitiful howl b'fore he starts t'shrink an'…de-purple. I scoot closer an' put my arms around what's no longer a werewolf-thing but a dazed an' bleedin' Vincent Valentine, all human.

"There y'are, baby. Y'alright?"

"Tell me…it didn't happen."

"It did. Sorry."

"I thought…they were gone. All of them, when Chaos left."

"Yeah, me too. Now hey, you take this. Can't have that pretty face scarrin', now can we?"

"Scar?"

"Yeah, y're all cut up."

"That's new. Usually, their bodies suffer and mine doesn't…I haven't been able to reach the others in a while. Even before Chaos left. It was just Galian Beast. Is that what happened?" He's babblin'. Embarrassed, maybe.

"Yeah. There y'go, drink up…yeah, that's better. I know, y'hate bein' babied. Just want you t'be okay."

"Thank you."

"Vincent!"

Reeve comes rushin' in here, like he has a right t'even talk to 'im. "Don't you touch 'im!"

"What? I-"

"Told yer people t'leave 'im in the ring? Wouldn't take 'im out even when 'e obviously had no control over 'imself, an' after y'promised 'im there'd be no death? Had 'im thrown in a monster pen instead o' somewhere decent? Yeah, that's what I thought. Get outta my way."

"I didn't- he's transformed before, how was I to know this was different?"

"Maybe 'cause I told you? 'Cause I was yellin' it in yer face an' y'wouldn't listen?"

"I-"

"Don't make excuses. Get outta my way."

I turn t'Vince. "Right. I know y're gonna hate this…arms aroun' ma neck, Vince."

"I can walk."

"Humor me."

He smiles. He's too tired t'walk, even if 'e tried, an' we both know it. He stands an' puts 'is arms around me, like I told 'im, and he kicks 'is legs up onta the arm that's not holdin' 'is back. "This is ridiculous."

"Want me t'throw you over m'shoulder?"

He shakes 'is head an' lays it on m'shoulder.

"You don't understand! He was dangerous. Where else would I have-"

"Didn't see 'im hurt me, didja? Didn't see 'im even try t'hurt anybody who wasn't threatenin' 'im. He was scared, dammit, an' y'treated 'im like an animal."

"Vincent…I'm sorry."

"Don't talk to 'im."

"Cid."

"Alright…sorry, that's harsh." Ain't near harsh enough, s'more like it. "But make it quick, 'cause he's fallin' asleep an' carryin' dead weight ain't easy."

"I don't have anything to say now."

"Oh, so I ruined yer well-practiced speech, huh? What was it, a confession? A persuasive little piece t'make 'im fall for ya?"

"I-"

I didn't really mean t'be so cruel…I'm protective o' what's mine. Is 'e mine? He said so, kinda…but not just like that. Still, I'm protective of him. He don't need t'be _mine_ fer me t'wanna protect 'im from all this shit.

He falls asleep 'bout halfway t'the hotel.

When we get there, I lay 'im out on the bed an' put a cool washcloth on 'is forehead. That prob'ly ain't necessary, but I felt like I oughta do somethin'.

Prob'ly oughta get 'im outta those clothes…but I don't really feel right. But…can't just let 'im lay there in 'is own blood.

I work the cape off an' then the claw, lift 'is head onta the pilla an' pull off 'is shoes.

"S'prob'ly good…" I know 'e can't hear me while 'e's asleep, but I needed t'say _somethin'_.

I lay next to 'im, lookin' up at the ceilin'. I start t'fall asleep, too, but he starts wigglin' an' bein' unhappy an' all…so I start tellin' 'im it'll be alright, promisin' not t'leave, an' all that. He calms down but he clings like I ain't never seen 'im cling b'fore. So fuckin' worried about 'im…

When he wakes up, he looks at the ceilin' an' ignores me, like he's embarrassed…well, 'e prob'ly is.

"Vince?"

He turns 'is head.

"Hey."

"Mm. Hey." He starts t'look away again.

"Alright?"

"Mm."

"Yeah, that's what I figured. Anythin' I c'n do?"

"Stay."

"Wasn't goin' anywhere."

"Good." He looks down at 'imself. "You took care of me."

"Don't I always? S'ma job." I bring a hand to 'is face. "All gone. That's good."

"Did I hurt him?"

"Nah, it was Cloud. Kid c'n take just about anything."

"Why were you so angry?"

"I wasn't, baby, not wi'you."

"I know…but I was a monster, the beast, I mean. Where else _would_ they have put me?"

"That was only somethin' else fer me t'yell about. I was mad 'cause they were still makin' ya fight. Once Cloud realized y'weren't…right…he stopped an' tried t'talk to ya. The crowd started eggin' y'on, an' I'd been yellin' at Reeve fer a good ten minutes t'take y'out 'cause y'wouldn't've done that if y'had control. He wasn't listenin', just wanted the fight t'go on. He was rootin' fer you, o' course, but when y'quit fightin' –an' y'did, when Spiky quit- he got pissed an' yelled for ya t'keep goin'. Fuckin' pissed me off. Then y'lunged at the crowd 'cause that was what was threatenin' ya, an' he got nervous an' had ya brought t'that…cage."

"How could you tell I hadn't done it on purpose?"

"Like I said, I know y'wanna be done with demons, all of 'em. I know y'wouldn't'a called any of 'em unless y'had no choice, an' y'were doin' fine without 'im, an' y'knew it wasn't gonna be all that serious of a match…an' then 'e was just there, instead o' you."

"Why weren't you afraid?"

"O' the big furball? C'mon."

"Thank you."

"Wasn't a problem. We ain't comin' back, I hope y'know."

"Good."

"Hey."

"Hm?"

"Y're thinkin'. Whatcha thinkin'?"

"I have a theory."

"Lay it on me."

"Chaos absorbed energy from me when he left. He needed it to become strong enough. Hellmasker and Death Gigas left slowly during the time before that, before we discovered what Deepground was doing, before the protomateria was taken from me. I believe Chaos sapped their power and took them away, but left the Galian Beast because he had what he needed. That may also be the reason I was allowed to come back."

"So y're sayin'…y're stuck with this one fer good?"

"Yes, but…Chaos was the only thing that allowed me any degree of control over the others."

"So y'can't control it anymore."

"Correct."

"Just a theory?"

"Just a theory. Did I…I scratched myself, didn't I?"

"Yeah. How'd you know?"

"It's happened before. And Cloud wouldn't have…"

"Yeah, that's true. Hey."

"Hm?"

"Have a theory t'go with your theory."

"And what's that?"

"Well, y'knew y'weren't in danger, right? An' it wasn't like y'were really fightin' hard. Y'were almost out fer the match, werentcha?"

"Just about."

"So, all Galian knew was that y'were weakened an' would need his help if y'wanted t'win. Since y'don't have control so much anymore, he broke through tryin' t'help ya, if only t'keep 'imself alive. He didn't know it was just fun'n'games."

"You may have something there. But I think he may have become emotionally attached to me as well."

"What makes y'think that?"

"He didn't attack, you said."

"Yeah, not unless he was bein' attacked."

"He would only have done that for my sake. He does not hate killing and causing pain as I do, but he knows by now that it causes me pain to see…"

T'see what he's done when he gets back in control. Yeah, I know that too, Beast. "Well, that ain't such a bad thing then, is it?"

"I suppose it's not. And he let me go for you."

"Always did. Y'still look tired."

"I am."

"Go on back t'sleep, then." It's been a long day. I might try t'get some sleep, too. S'been a very fucked up day. Man deserves a good nap after all this shit. I just dunno f'e's gonna be alright fer ta…

"Chief?"

"Whazzat, baby?"

He mumbles somethin', an' all I catch is, "…still want me?"

I sit up an' stare at 'im. "Tell me I didn't hear that right."

S'eyes're closed, an' 'is lips're shakin' like 'e's cold. Well, the a/c is still runnin', but m'pretty sure that's got nothin' t'do with it. "What," he swallows, "did you hear?"

A fuckin' stupid question is what I heard. "Sounded t'me like y'were askin' me f'I still wanted you. Tell me that ain't what I heard."

He don't say nothin'.

"Vince, c'mon. After all the shit we been through, all of us, you an' me, y'really think t'day coulda changed anything? At the very least, y'oughta know I'm a stubborn bastard an' I don't change m'mind."

I roll over so m'chest's above his, an' I put all ma weight on m'left arm an' put m'right hand on 'is face.

"Look at me."

Nothin'.

"Vince."

He opens 'is eyes but looks away from me.

"Look at me, dammit."

Huh. It worked.

"Now listen t'me. This ain't you. You ain't scared o' bein' alone. You don't need me. Y're just pretendin' t'need me 'cause y're afraid t'want me."

He puts 'is arms on mine, then moves 'em up t'ma back, right under m'arms, so that 'is fingers're kinda restin' on m'shoulder blades.

"S'alright t'want. S'even more alright t'want me. Want me t'stay, wanna hold me, want me t'listen, just want me t'be here, s'alright. Whaddo I hafta do t'prove I ain't goin' anywhere?"

He starts t' move 'is hands, slidin' 'em off m'back so they're back on m'arms. Maybe it's makin' 'im uncomf'table, me hoverin' over 'im like this…

"What I gotta do, huh? Tell me." I run m'thumb over 'is lips, 'cause I always wanted t'touch 'em.

Oh. Guess that was too much. He pushes me off an' rolls away. I lay back down an' face away from 'im.

So much fer goin' t'sleep. Ain't no way I c'n do it now. I hear 'is breathin' fall inta the pattern I've memorized over the years, an' I know _he_'s asleep.

I put an arm over 'im around the waist, an' lay m'head against 'is shoulder. Wish 'e wouldn't be so jumpy all the time…

M'arm's still over 'im, an' he's holdin' onto it now.

A couple hours pass, me holdin' 'im an' him bein' scared. Fin'ly the clingin' stops.

"Y'awake over there?" I squeeze a little, m'arm an' m'hand.

"Mm."

"Okay."

He don't push me away, an' he don't say anything else. I c'n go with this fer a while, I guess.

"When do we have to check out?"

I pick m'head up an' look at the clock. "'Bout an' hour ago."

"Mmph."

"Ready?"

"No."

"S'alright."

…He asleep again? Don't surprise me. He looked real bad yest'y. Ain't ever seen 'im look like that. Hated it. S'okay if 'e's sleepin'. He can't be hurtin' if 'e's asleep. Well, the nightmares, I s'pose, but I'm here, an' I ain't goin' anywhere. I c'n only hope that's some comfort to 'im. I'll stay with 'im as long as I have to.

Or, as it is, stay up without 'im.

* * *

Did I create an arena just so I could bring Galian Beast into the equation? Sort of. Plus I needed Reeve permanently out. He was bugging me. And Vincent. And annoyed Vincent is NOT fun to deal with.

So I write Balthier for five minutes and I start doing his annoying hand-flippy things. Plus, I called my cat "Chief" last night. Who's writing too much fic? Nah, not me.  
Lol, I made Squall/Cloud fit in...and put Yuffie and Rikku in the same fic without having to focus on them. Oh, and yeah, they're in their X-2 stuff, purely because I like Yuna's gunner outfit better. And Paine isn't here because throwing her in the same time frame ruins a theory of mine. I'm sure you can guess what it is.

Thanks for reading, and all. Reviews? I reply!

Ooh! I got the Swan Princess soundtrack on my computer! And "Let Me Be Your Wings." Chibi Koun, that is your fault. So much. So those songs are my soundtrack for this. Plus some other randomness. "Battle of New Orleans," "My Sharona," "How to Save a Life," pieces of musicals and such. Yep, diversity is love!


	14. The Man in the Monster

Lol, I just watched my clock turn from 1:59 to 3:00. I stayed up this late just for that. Happy DST!

You can tell I've been working on this one for a while. I really, honestly just finished it yesterday. I'm well on my way in the next two, though, so with luck this won't happen again, yes?

**Eternal Requiem:** You're too sweet! Thanks for the review, and I'm sorry I kept you waiting longer than I said I would!

Disclaimer: You know I don't own them.

It's been so long, you may need to go back and re-read the ending of the last chapter...

* * *

"Vince, baby, y'gotta wake up. We done slept through another night."

"Why is that bad?" He blinks an' rubs 'is eyes. Shit, he's so cute right now. He'd kill me fer sayin' that, though…

"'Cause we paid fer _one_."

"Make Reeve pay for it." Wanna make 'im pay, all right…

"Vindictive this mornin', aintcha? Heh." Ain't a half-bad idea, really…

Somebody's knockin'…

"Whozzit?"

"Hotel manager, sir."

"Aw, shit."

I get up an' open the door. "Yeah, I know. We're gonna pay fer it. M'sorry, m'buddy here-"

"We know. That's why I came by. Your second night is on the house."

"On the house or on Reeve Tuesti?"

"Well-"

"Tell the bastard I c'n pay fer it m'self."

"I- alright."

Yeah, don't need his charity.

The guy leaves an' I turn around. "Oh, y're all ready t'go?" Ever'thin's packed up an' shit…how's 'e do all that so fast?

"Mm-hm. You were going to make him pay for it if he didn't offer."

"Hadda be our idea or it's suckin' up."

"I see."

"Let's go."

"Mm."

We go downstairs an' I hand in the key while Vince carries the luggage. Prob'ly oughta take a case…nah, he's got it. Prob'ly oughta call Jess t'bring some guys down here so I ain't flyin' on half an hour o' sleep…

Also prob'ly shouldn't be checkin' out Vince's ass while e's still upset, but he just quit wearin' th'damn cape, an' I never got enough time t'look b'fore. …Cape. Shit.

"Vince?"

"Hm?"

"Y'grab yer cape-thing?"

"I did."

"Oh, good."

"I thought you didn't like it?"

"Woulda felt bad f'ya left it, though. Y'seem pretty attached t'the damn thing."

"Hm."

"Why is that?"

He shrugs.

"How c'n ya not know?"

"I just like it. Isn't that enough?"

"Guess so." Yeah. Why does anyone get attached t'anythin'? Good point.

"Well, go on in."

He does, an' I follow 'im in. He sets down the stuff on the table an' walks up t'the wheel.

Hey…"Want me t'teach ya?"

"Hm?"

"T'fly. Ain't like we got anything better t'do t'day." Excuse t'stand b'hind 'im an' ever'thin'…oh please say yes, please say yes…

"I don't see why not."

Hell yeah! "A'right! Heh, lessee…first y'gotta start 'er up. She's 0-2-1-0-2-1-3-2, but don't tell nobody. Promise?"

"I promise." He punches in the code. Guess it was a little stupid t'use those numbers, but, well…I dunno. Maybe he won't notice.

"And now?"

"'Kay. See that lever?"

"This one?"

"Yeah. Don't touch that one."

"Then why did you-"

"So y'know not t'touch it, _duh._ Now, th'other lever, that yella one…yeah, pull that one."

The ship leaves the ground an' Vince looks at me. He looks kinda lost…

"M'kay, good job. An' now y'see th'little blue twisty thing?"

"Twisty…this?"

"Yeah, that. S'how y'manage the height. Play with it a little bit."

He coughs. I dunno…oh. Yeah, guess that was a little…but whatever. Gotta focus here…

"Yeah, there ya go. This oughta be 'bout good unless y'wanna just mess around with it."

He's doin' this just t'humor me, ain't 'e? Oh well.

"It's fine. How do I accelerate?"

"Red button. Hold on tight."

"To what?"

Me. "Th'wheel, preferably. So y'c'n not just go, but go in the right direction."

"Right."

He jabs the button, a little too quick, and the ship kinda jumps forward. Vince jumps, too.

"Well, wasn't too bad f'r'a first try."

"Hm."

I move in b'hind 'im an' guide 'is hands on the wheel. He was a little shaky.

"Gotta grip it firmer'n'at. Like this, see? An' put yer hands like…this."

"Cid."

"Want me ta back off?"

"N-no. I have a confession to make."

Y'r enjoyin' this as much as I am? "Whuzzat, Vince?"

"I didn't do those drawings."

"Uh…who did, then?" Not gonna tell me the Galian Beast's an artist, is 'e? 'Cause that's just fuckin' insane.

"The original engineers, I assume."

I don't really care who did 'em, long as I have 'em..."An' y're tellin' me this because…?"

"I felt guilty." Again. After I keep tellin' 'im not to!

"Well, stop it. Ain't healthy t'tell the truth all the time."

"That's an odd philosophy."

"Yeah, maybe. How'd y'even find 'em?"

"I got curious as to what was in the crate in the engine room, and I found the original blueprints." He looks over 'is shoulder at me. "Are you upset?"

"Nah. Not really."

"But you've done months of pointless work."

"Nah. Woulda hadda build it again anyway, prove it c'n still be done b'fore I start tryin'a sell faulty shit, y'know?"

"Oh. That's good, then."

"Prob'ly woulda been mad atcha, though, if that makes ya feel better."

"It does, a little."

"Mm."

Ain't even holdin' 'is hands anymore. Just standin' here with m'arms around 'im. Don't get t'do this often enough. I tighten m'arms an' he makes a little noise. Wanna hear more o' those…

"Hey."

"Hm?"

"Why'd y'pretend you did it?"

He looks down. "Where are we going?"

"Wherever y'want. Why'd ya do it?"

"Because…" He looks at me.

His face says, "Don't laugh at me."

"I won't laugh, f'that's what yer worried about."

"I wanted you to be happy with me. Or…something. I don't…really know."

"M'almost always happy with ya. N'hell, woulda been just as happy that y'were smarter'n the rest of us an' thought t'look in the damn box we all just ignored fer years."

"Why are you almost always happy with me?"

"'Cause ya don't gimme any reason not t'be. An' I like bein' happy with ya."

"What does that even mean?"

"Hell, I dunno. Heh."

"Hm."

Damn, this is almost too much…

"So where we goin', Vince?"

"Home."

"Don't wanna make a quick detour?"

"To where?"

"I dunno. Somewhere."

"Not the beach."

"Nah. Somewhere quiet."

"Home?"

"Yeah, I guess." Wonder how I c'n get Shera t'leave again… "Sure y'can't think of anywhere?"

"I can't imagine you'd want to go with me to visit Lucrecia again. We're not near the area now, anyway."

"Just don't wanna go home yet…"

"Why not?"

"I dunno. Y'never felt like that?"

He shakes 'is head. "I've spent my entire life trying to get home. Why would I want to stay away?" Yeah, an' he still ain't got back...wait...

"Y-y're that comf'table wi'me? It's home in Rocket Town fer you fer real?"

"It's home for me…where you are. Why do you keep questioning that? Is it so hard to believe?"

"Yeah. It really is."

"Accept it. I'm tired of being questioned."

"Heh. Alright."

"I'm not kidding, Highwind."

"I know. Makes it even funnier."

He goes ta cuff me upside the head. Dammit, ain't gonna be able t'duck in time…"Ow, dammit!"

"Don't tease me."

"'M sorry." Can't help but smile at 'im, though. He smiles back at me. Love it when 'e does that.

"I think it's time to land."

"Oh! Yeah, y're right. 'Kay, b'fore y'land, y'gotta tell ever'one we're landin'." I grab the mike an' wave it in front of 'is face.

"You're the only other person here."

"So?"

"So it's idiotic."

"Yeah. Still gotta do it."

"No, I don't."

"Y'do. S'part o' the job. Ain't tellin' ya how t'land until y'do it."

"Maybe I'll just figure it out on my own."

"An' crash m'ship? Y'd better not even try."

"I'm not doing it."

Heh. This really is fun…kinda like pokin' a sleepin' lion, but fun. Plus, I know he'd just flat out refuse f'e was really mad.

"Y'are. Now, here. Take this…c'mon, take it." He won't take the damn mike, so I'm holdin' by 'is mouth for 'im.

"No, Highwind."

"Highwind" echoes around th'empty ship.

"Aw, c'mon! Y'get t'see me bein' an idiot all the time. I want a turn."

Huh. Think he's enjoyin' this a little bit. He ain't gettin' really fed up yet, at least.

"You're ridiculous."

"We ain't gettin' off this ship 'til y'do it."

"Can't I pay you off?"

Well, there's one I didn't think about…but then, I don't really want it t'be like this…but hell, I'll take what I c'n get.

"Hm…"

He sighs. "How much?"

"Don't wantcher money…"

"I do not like that look."

"Was yer idea."

"Hm."

"Got it."

"Hm?"

"C'mere an' kiss me."

He snatches the mike from me. "We'll be touching down shortly." An' damned if 'is face ain't redder'n a tomato...

"Aw, y're no fun, Vince!"

"I don't know what you mean. I'm a bottomless bucket of laughs." An' with that, he starts…gigglin'.

The fuck? "Hate t'be the one t'tell ya this, baby, but y're really fuckin' weird sometimes." Like now, f'r'example...

"No, I'm…well, yes…but my old partner used to call me that, a 'bottomless bucket of laughs.'"

"Then he was weird, too. Y'do him?"

Shit, what's wrong with me?

"No, I did not. I've been with three people in all my sixty-odd years. Now tell me how to land this thing before I really do find out on my own."

...three? "Oh. Uh, the blue twisty thing again. Get low an' then pull the lever I told y'not to earlier."

"Couldn't you just have said then that it was the lever to land?"

"No."

"Hm."

"Hey."

"Hm?"

"Y'did pretty damn good, Vince."

"Thank you."

"An' y'look so damn good without that cape thing." Shit. Gotta watch m'mouth, dammit! Why's this stuff keep slippin' out?

He coughs. "Thank you…?"

"Y're welcome. An' y'don't always hafta get embarrassed about that shit. I don't mean t'embarrass ya."

"I know. Much appreciated."

"Hey."

"Hm?"

"I know y'thought y'were gonna start agin'**(A/N: "aging", not "again")** an' shit with Chaos gone…that still gonna happen even though the Beast's still with ya?"

"I think so. My heart beats, after all."

"Ya sure? I wanna see fer m'self again. Need some reassurance."

"I'm sure. Sneaky."

He lets me listen anyway. His hands find m'waist an' stay there. I just put m'head to 'is chest an' listen. When I start rubbin' 'is back, the pace picks up.

"Yeah, guess y're alive, alright. Y'even have reactions."

"You have no idea," he mumbles, an' pushes me away. "We've been on the ground for nearly a quarter of an hour. It's time to go inside."

"Yeah. 'M hungry, anyway."

"Hm."

"So let's go."

"Cid?"

"Yeah?"

"Promise me one thing."

"M'kay?"

"Never try to teach me to drive a train."

"Heh. No problem, since I don't even know how. Y'remember that, huh?"

"I do."

"Heh. M'gonna learn one o' these days. Never know when th'occasion might present itself again, huh?" So what if they're almost obsolete?

"I suppose not."

"C'mon. We're still standin' here."

We get by the house. Shera's wavin' out the window at us.

I open the door.

"Hi there, boys. Yuffie called to let me know you were on the way back."

"How'd she know?"

"She was in the lobby while you were leaving. She was supposed to try to convince you to go back with the others to Tifa's, but when she saw how irritated you were, she decided to leave it alone. She said…something happened with Vincent. Is everything okay?"

"Aw, I took care of 'im. S'alright."

"Of course you did. Is there anything I can do?"

"For me? I doubt it. Y'c'n ask Vince, though."

"Chief, be nice."

"Oh yeah. Sorry." An' she prob'ly thinks I'm just sayin' it, and I kinda am, but part o' me does feel bad. Damn emo-vamp makin' me feel bad about shit all the time…s'like a disease. A cold or somethin'.

"I don't suppose you have anything ready for lunch?"

"I do. I told you, Yuffie called."

"Oh, right. Hey, y'know what? I'mma eat later."

"You really don't look too good."

"I'm afraid I didn't let him get much sleep."

"Hey! You stop that. Ain't yer fault. Coulda slept if I'd wanted to."

"Then why didn't you?"

"Y'woulda been scared. Y'already were, an' it helps when I talk to ya. Can't talk to ya if I'm sleepin'."

"I don't know about that, Captain. You've talked to him in your sleep before."

"Oh, shut it, Shera."

Vince looks amused, but 'e don't press it.

"Anyhow, I'm goin'a get some sleep. 'Ey, you, don't look like that. Ain't yer fault. M'just old."

He laughs, but 'e still feels bad, I think. Eh, can't do nothin' 'bout it. He's always gonna feel bad about one thing'r'another.

Shit, I don't even feel like undressin'…screw it. I ain't gonna. Just goin' ta sleep.

"Captain?"

The _fuck_, man? I'm tryin'a sleep here…"Whatcha want, Shera?"

"Can I come in?"

"Guess so."

She does. "I'm sorry, I know you're tired. I just was wondering…well. I'm very happy for you, let me say that. And I'm very happy ofr Vincent. You both deserve to be as happy as you make each other."

…she knows?

"And…I think it's time for me to go. Don't you agree? I mean, it's been years, nad neither of us has been…well, we both know we were never really meant to be…it was never going to be like that, for us. You know? I'm sure you do. _I_ do. And I've known it was him for you since the first time I saw you together."

"How?"

"You were…intrigued. Normally people don't really interest you. But him…I thought for a while that maybe it was just his eyes, maybe they just made you curious, or something. But when, after months, and then years, when he was still the only thing you talked to me about, other than mechanics, I knew for sure. I knew that he did for you what I could never…"

Shit, Shera, I'm sorry… "Oh."

"So what do you think?"

"If- if you wanna go. Ain't…ain't nobody gonna make ya."

"I haven't seen my mother in a while. She's been asking me to go see her, but I knew if I left for her, I wouldn't come back, and I couldn't…it's silly, but I couldn't leave you until I knew you were happy."

Shit, y'never owed me that, dammit! Y'never owed me_ anything_… "Yeah, I guess that's…yeah."

"Captain…no, _Cid_, are you alright?"

"Yeah, m'fine."

"Do you want me to send Vincent in?"

"Nah. M'alright. Hey, I guess I'll get ever'one t'gether for day after t'morra. That alright wi'you?"

"It sounds fine, Cid. Thank you."

She leaves. I pull the covers over m'head.

"Chief?"

"Dammit, I tole 'er not ta send ya in…m'tryin'a get some sleep an' y'all jus' keep on bargin' in here like y'own the place- what?"

He frowns. "Chief, it's been nearly five hours since Shera came in."

"…You sure?"

He sits down on th'edge o' ma bed an' puts a hand on ma forehead.

"Dammit, boy, I don't have a fever. Get offa me." Why the _fuck_ do I feel so bad?

"What's wrong, Cid?"

Tch. Always usin' m'name when 'e wants t'get t'the point. "Nothin'."

"Cid."

"She's leavin'."

"And you feel bad."

"Yeah. How come?"

"You're human."

"So?"

"Loss is a human feeling. It comes naturally. Even the most trivial of things…we will always feel some sorrow for what is gone."

"But I ain't losin' nothin'. Not really, anyhow. N'I'm getting' what I always wanted."

"Some form of loss always accompanies any degree of gain."

Maybe that's true. "Fuckin' depressin' shit, Vin."

"Then look at it this way- no loss comes without its gain."

"Yeah?"

"Hm."

"I never deserved 'er."

"No."

"Y'ain't s'posed'a'gree with me, Vince."

"I'm simply being honest."

"Heh."

"Chief?"

"Yeah?"

"I need you to know something."

"M'kay."

"I wouldn't give this up for a chance to start all over."

-shit. Oh fuck, what the _hell_ d'ya say back t'that? Ain't nothin' that even comes close…oh, _fuck…_nobody's ever- shit!

"Chief?"

"Sorry, baby. Just didn't know what t'say. Ain't nobody ever said nothin' so…_much_ before. Not t'me."

"I- oh. Ah-"

"Uh-uh. None o' that gettin' embarrassed shit. Not around me. Not fer somethin' like that."

"Cid…"

Damn.

"Can I make a suggestion?"

"Whuzzat, Vince?"

"I, er, overheard you have plans to inform the town of your separation?"

"Yeah." Heh. Sneaky bastard, actin' all innocent all the time. Shit, I love the boy…fuck, I'm screwed…'r maybe not, after all.

"You need to shave…but you shouldn't until after the announcement. People are less likely to become angry with you if you appear to be suffering. The unshorn look conveys pain and lack of sleep."

"Sneaky _bastard_." He really is.

"I-"

"Heh, I mean it in the best way possible. How th'hell d'y'even know that? Oh, right. Y'used ta organize the President's press conferences sometimes, huh?"

"I did."

He runs a hand over m'cheek. His fingers –damn, he's got long nails…- catch on the hairs an' all. It's pretty rough, his calloused hands an' my unshaved face. Somethin' good about it, but it ain't right.

"You definitely have to get rid of this as soon as it isn't for you necessary to appear distressed." Heh, was just thinkin' the same thing, too!

"You really think people are gonna be pissed at me."

"They had better be."

Damn his bluntness… "Well, I gotta go put up fliers an' shit."

"Everything's closed."

"Nah. I'm the Captain."

But I wonder, how much respect'll they still have for me after this?

"If you say so. Do you want company?"

"Not fer this. Thanks, though."

"Hm." He nods. I walk out the door an' head down th'street.

Damn, his wife's in there…oh well. She's gonna hear about it sooner'r'later anyway. That's kinda the point.

"Hey, Oliver. Gimme fifty o' them generic town meetin' ones we designed last year? Set it up fer day after t'morra, two-o'-clock-ish."

"Sure thing, Captain. Something wrong?"

"Nah. Jus' a little somethin' I think y'all have a right t'hear about, s'all."

"Okay."

"Hey, Laura, you be sure t'tell Lainey'n'Carol t'tell ever'one, 'right?"

"I sure will, Cap'n."

"Thanks."

"Here you are, Captain. Three-fifty."

"Damn, that went up from last time, huh?"

"Only by a little."

"Yeah, I guess so." Yeah, s'up one whole gil per sheet. That ain't a little. Y'd think I'd get a discount fer buyin' in bulk, or fer bein' who I am…but no, not here. Tch. "Here ya go. Thanks fer the last-minute thing."

"Not a problem."

I grab the posters'n'walk out. I start puttin' 'em up on windas an' shit, telephone posts an' such.

"Need some help?"

"Huh? Oh, hey Shera. If y'wanna, I guess. Here."

I hand 'er 'bout twenty of 'em.

"Thank you, Cid."

"Huh?" Thanks fer lovin' someone more'n I c'd ever love you? Thanks fer makin' yer life mis'rable? I dunno…those don't really seem like "thank you" situations.

"For telling everyone. I thought you'd want to keep it hush-hush and everything, just watch me leave and have the town just accept that I was gone."

"Nah, they deserve t'know. They respect me, an' such."

"I'm glad you can see we aren't the only ones affected by this."

"How could I not see it? Soon as shit happens, they show up at the door, an' hell, half that stuff…half of it I might not'a been able t'do if y'hadn't…shit."

"You see what you had now, Chief? Now that it's gone, that is?" Ow…now that's just cruel…

"Vince-"

"Don't worry about it, Vincent. This is best for both of us. All three of us."

"Shera…I really am sorry I couldn't ever be what y'wanted me t'be."

"That's alright, Cid. No one can make you be something you aren't."

"Yeah. Hey, you got this side?"

She nods.

"I'll go get th'other side, then. Vince…y'oughta go on home."

"You really feel the need to do this alone?"

"Yeah, I do."

"If you aren't back within an hour, I'm coming to get you."

"Fair 'nough."

I put up th'rest o' the posters. Time t'head back…

"Hey, Shera."

"Cid. I'll be moving my stuff out soon. I talked to my mom. I'm going to move into the house she rents out."

"Tha's nice."

"Cid…be fair to Vincent."

"Huh?"

"You're getting caught up in this. You'll end up hurting him if you aren't careful. This is hard for me to say, but…there's no reason for you to deny either of you what you both want anymore. Please don't feel that you have any obligation to me. Not now, after so many years. That wouldn't be fair to anyone."

Well, where was this girl that whole time? She was always so…s'bmissive all the time. I mean, s'a good quality in a woman, but I like a little fight ev'ry now'n'then. She didn't have none o' that. I couldn't stand it. And now…_now_ she wants t'speak 'er mind. _Now_, when it don't matter worth a damn. Shit. Well, it ain't like anything ever really woulda…'cause I mean…well. But still, we coulda been…but it don't matter. "Y're right. I'm gonna go pull somethin' outta the fridge an' go back t'sleep, I think."

"Alright, Captain. Cid."

"Yeah." I go in b'hind 'er.

"Chief. You're late."

"Y'didn't come lookin' for me."

"I knew you'd come back."

"Heh." Eh, he just forgot.

"There's chicken cooked, if the two of you are hungry."

"You cooked?"

"I was here. You weren't. Why shouldn't I have cooked?"

"Meh." Heh.

"Thank you, Vincent."

"Well, let's eat."

Damn, he c'n cook…but I ain't ever gonna make 'im. Nope. Not gonna fuck it up. Gonna keep 'im with me f'rever.

…Damn…

"Was good, Vince. Thanks. I'm goin' ta bed."

"You should take a shower first, Chief. You look like you could use it."

"Meh. 'Ll do it later."

I go to my room an' lay down.

Somebody's on the bed next t'me…how long's it been? "Vince?"

"I'm here, Chief."

"Oh. S'it late?"

"Pretty late."

"Mm. C'mere?"

He turns an' holds me. Works, I guess. Was gonna do that th'other way around, but…

"M'hey."

"Hm." He kisses m'forehead. "Sleep, Cid."

"M'kay."

Shit, did I really fall asleep? Huh…didn't think I would…but the sun's up.

Heh. He's snorin'.

"Hey. Vince, wake up, baby. C'mon, time t'get up."

"It's only six. There's no reason to be up so early."

"How th'fuck d'you know what time it is?"

"Your alarm clock, bright one."

"Oh. Yeah, that'll do it, huh? Heh, y'look pretty in the sun, y'know."

"I am not _pretty._"

"Fine. Better than pretty. Lessee...hey, Vince, y're stunnin' in the sunlight…you even hear how stupid that sounds- hey, no laughin' at me! I'm tryin'a compliment ya, dammit…"

"And I appreciate the effort, but you really shouldn't try so hard this early. You'll strain something."

"Y'callin' me dumb?"

"I'm saying it takes more energy to think when it's early. You should be saving everything for a non-insulting speech tomorrow."

"Shit, I don't wanna do that…hey, Vince?"

"Hm?"

"I don't want ya t'be there. Will ya promise me you won't go?"

"No. I'm going to be there. You may as well get used to it now. I think you may need me there."

"Huh?"

"We'll see about that part. But I will be there."

"'Kay…mmph. Shouldn't'a slep' s'much yest'y. M'all awake now, an' there ain't nothin' ta do."

"You could go back to sleep."

"Why're you still tired?"

"I stayed up talking to Shera until two."

"Oh. An' I woke up when y'got in bed with me?"

"I didn't mean to wake you."

"Aw, s'alright. M'glad y'did. I like wakin' up with ya like this, Vince."

"I…quite enjoy it myself."

Heh. Gonna push m'luck a little… "Hey, c'n I get a good mornin' kiss? The real kind?"

"No."

"Well why the hell not?"

"I shouldn't even be near you the way I am. You still belong to Shera."

"I never b'longed t'her."

"Well, I'm going to honor your commitment even if you won't."

"Y'ain't no fun, y'know."

"I'm plenty of fun. You're just impatient."

Fuck, I bet 'e is lots o' fun…real good fun, too… "Yeah, alright, we'll go with that. A'right. Y'gotta let me up now, 'kay?"

I c'n see 'im think about holdin' me where I am an' not lettin' me up, but he's too…_Vince_ t'do that again so soon.

"Thank ya. C'mon, we c'n have breakfast. Hey, you lied."

"Hm?"

"S'ten, not six."

"Yes."

"Why?"

He shrugs.

"Vince?"

"Hm?"

"You alright?"

"…Yes." He raises an eyebrow at me. "What makes you think I wouldn't be?"

"Y'just seem kinda off."

"I'm tired. My sleep the night before last was rather restless, as you know, and I went to bed late last night."

"Then sleep. Y'don't _hafta_ have breakfast wi'me. Just thought y'might like to." But it's ten, an' that's eight hours, an' he oughta be fine…

"I may come to breakfast."

Okay then. I'm done fer now. He c'n be weird all 'e wants. Wonder if Shera's up yet?

"Shera?"

"Sausages for breakfast, Captain. And pancakes."

"Make sure y'throw in some chocolate chips."

"Huh?"

"Fer Vince. He likes his pancakes stuffed with chocolate an' swimmin' in the stuff. Personally, I think that's a bit too much, but whatever."

"I can do that."

"Thanks. Hey. You, uh, talk t'Jess or Danni 'bout all this?"

She looks down. "Not…yet."

"So we're just gonna let 'em find out with ever'one else?"

"That might be best."

An' now that I've special-ordered his breakfast, he's gotta come eat with us.

"Yeah, maybe so. M'gonna go get Vince." I go back t'our…no, _my_ room. "Hey, baby, you in there?"

There's a noise, like the kinda noise people in pain make, only Vince ain't… "Baby, you okay?"

Nothin'. I open the door. He ain't there. "Vince?" Oh, the window's open.

…the window?

I go 'round back an' leave through the door. Oh, there 'e is, under that tree.

I go over to 'im.

"Hey, whatcha doin' over here, huh?" He looks up at me with those eyes…so fuckin' sad when he quits tryin' not ta show it.

I squat down next to 'im an' put a hand on 'is shoulder. "What's wrong, honey?"

"My head…he wants to…" Fuckin' Beast...

"Oh, shit. Hey, why all the sudden, huh? 'Cause I mean…well, y'only had two weeks t'figure it out, huh? Guess y'don't really know. Sorry."

"I think I may."

"Oh yeah?"

"My theory was, I think, just proven correct. Or…perhaps yours was. I can't be sure."

"Wanna gimme a straight answer?"

"He either just acted in response to my emotions or in protection of his own survival."

"'Laborate, please."

"It seems he thought the reason I was left…frustrated…this morning was that my own strength was not enough to…overpower you. He wanted to lend me his strength, to help me…get what I wanted, or perhaps it was only for his own sake, if he thinks…reproduction would be…possible."

Heh, that's another real blush. Damn, he was 'frustrated'? Couldn't even tell…either way… "That's pretty damn cute."

"Excuse me?"

"It is! I mean, it's creepy as all hell, but it's kinda sweet, too. S'like he's yer pet or somethin'. Y'know how cats'll bring ya dead shit like presents? Sorta the same thing, just…he wants t'bring ya my ass, an' alive. Somethin' like that, yeah?"

He wrinkles 'is nose again. "Crude, but accurate, I suppose. Most people do, however, keep their pets separate from their own bodies."

"An' most people ain't Vincent Valentine."

"Not an altogether reassuring statement."

"A'right. How's this? _Most people_ don't catch my eye. I don't give a shit about _most people_. _Most people_ c'n suck it, s'far as I'm concerned."

"Chief…"

"An' if y'wanted me that bad, shit, all y'hadda do was ask, y'know that, right? That goes fer always. Uh, unless y're, y'know, a giant with claws that c'n slice through all kinds o' shit. Even I have standards."

"Sometimes I wonder if you really do." He reaches up an' puts a hand on ma face. He looks so tired…

"Maybe y'flipped some kind o' switch or somethin' when y'shifted th'other day, an' now 'e wants control?"

"The Galian Beast never expressed any desire for control. He is incapable, I think."

"Oh. Well, maybe y'oughta just give in, fer a while? It's killin' ya t'fight, baby. Y're worn out an' it ain't gettin' any better."

"I don't…want to."

"I know. But he ain't gonna hurt nobody."

"He may hurt you."

"He won't. He wants what you want, now. He calms down fer me. Always has, y'know."

"I know. That makes it worse, in certain situations…"

"I c'n see whatcha mean, but, y'know, y'have real good control an' shit, yeah? An' besides, you calm down for me, too, y'know."

"I know."

"Fuck…" I love 'im. I feel it so much right now. Ain't no runnin'. But it wouldn't do no good t'tell 'im now, prob'ly.

"Hm?" Aw, shit, he thinks 'e upset me…

"Not you…well yeah, you. Just…nothin'."

"Are you sure?" He's straightened up now, lookin' down at me, 'cause I'm slumped a little.

"Yeah, m'sure. S'nothin'."

'Cept it ain't nothing. S'everythin', or close enough to it.

"If you say so."

Wish 'e was that agreeable 'bout ever'thin'. Nah, he wouldn't be Vince if 'e was. "Hey."

"Hm?"

"C'mon. Shera's got breakfast ready. Y'needa eat."

"Yes."

He stands up an' walks off.

Didn't even wait fer me, the bastard…

"Hey! Wait up!" I run after 'im. He stops an' I grab 'is arm. I bend it so our elbows're locked. "Gotta let me escort ya."

He tries t'smile. "And you say I'm cheesy."

"Well, I get it from you."

"Hm."

"Morning, boys…Vincent, how did you get…never mind."

"Good morning. Is breakfast still warm?"

"Yup. Have a seat."

We sit. We eat.

Shera leaves t'go shoppin'.

"Hey, Vince?"

"Hm?"

"Come 'ere."

"You aren't mine." How's 'e know that had anything t'do with...well, I guess maybe I ain't that hard t'read, huh?

"I wanna be."

"You will be."

"Now."

"No."

"Why the fuck not? Shera don't want me! She already done told me we oughta quit holdin' back from each other an' just let it all happen."

"Why not? Because I have too much respect for the bonds of marriage to help you break them in that way. Had the fates allowed me to marry Lucrecia, I would never have strayed."

"There's a difference. Y'loved her."

"You have the same responsibilities to her that anyone has to his spouse, love or no."

"But it ain't right."

"You shouldn't have married someone you didn't love. It was unfair to both of you."

"Was unfair t'you, too. You c'n say it, y'know. It don't make ya selfish t'say that. S'the truth."

"My feelings don't matter here-"

"The fuck're you talkin' about? Yer feelin's are all that matter! If y'didn't want me back, I'd stay with her like we've been f'rever just 'cause…just 'cause I wouldn't have nobody else. Oh shit…"

Am I really that scared o' bein' alone? Shit…

"No one wants to be alone, Chief. That does not make _you_ selfish."

"Shit…"

"Chief?"

"I'm the world's biggest fuckin' asshole." An' damn it, is he nothin' but a new improved version o' her? No…no, can't be…but what if? What if 'e is, dammit? What if I don't love 'im an' I'm just tellin' m'self…no, I do, I know I do…fuck, I don't know anything. Nothin' at all.

"No."

"I am." I am, I really am. So fuckin' selfish, no matter what he says.

"You are not. You are simply human, as I said before."

"Captain? Vincent, is he alright?"

"He will be fine. He's confronting reality. You know how harsh that can be, I'm sure."

"Oh, I do. Will you get him out of my kitchen, at least? I need to put these away."

"Hm."

I feel 'im pick me up. "I c'n walk, dammit."

"I don't trust you to do what you're told right now. You'd walk outside and we'd find you tomorrow passed out on the street."

"Meh. Don't wanna go back t'sleep."

"You don't have to. You just need to calm down."

"M'fine."

"You seem to be, yes. Perhaps it didn't hit you as hard as it seemed to."

I just want it all t'stop makin' me think so hard… "M'head hurts."

"I'm sure it does."

"Vince?"

"Hm?"

"Make me think about somethin' else."

"I can continue. How's that?" I nod.

"That time was aimless wandering for me."

* * *

We went on from there t'Winter or some shit, 'cause Spiky got all possessed again an' Sephiroth sent us there.

We found them videos, the ones with Aerith. Vince was so fucked up by that shit, 'cause now…now it was somebody else's kid, somebody else losin' ever'thin' to Hojo fer the sake o' his research.

He says he was almost envious o' Aerith's parents. They didn't hafta live t'see 'er raised in captivity an' followed around an' livin' on flowers an' shit. I won't remind 'im that he wasn't there when Sephiroth was growin' up. Wouldn't be right.

After that, that blonde Turk tried t'get Spiky an' rollin' like a snowball. She's kinda annoyin', really. Hate it when she's in the same bar as me. S'really only room fer one loudmouth at a time, y'know?

An' then the damn snowboard. Hate them things so much…Vince says he had to force 'imself not ta laugh when I went face-first inta the snow.

* * *

"Do you remember?"

"Yeah I remember. Y'coulda laughed, y'know. Woulda yelled atcha, but I woulda laughed, too, later. An' that's one more thing I can't ever teach you ta work 'cause I can't work it."

"I liked it there, in the snow."

Somethin' as simple as that shouldn't be such a monumental thing. It is, though, 'cause he just said sp'cific'ly that 'e liked somethin'. "Well then we'll go there soon, how's that? We c'n try again with the snowboards."

"I don't want to go too close to the Crater."

"Tch. Y'think I do? C'n forget that. We'll find snow somewhere else."

"Hm."

"Hey."

"Hm?"

"Thanks."

"Hm."

He's sittin' against the headboard an' ma head's on 'is waist, like, right above 'is hips. I shift a little so it's on 'is belly instead, an' he starts pettin' ma hair. I wrap m'arms 'round 'is hips, 'cause that's what I c'n reach, an' he makes a noise that sounds like he's gonna tell me to let 'im go. He don't, though, an' that's cool. Prob'ly wouldn't'a if he had.

"Boys? Oh, I'm sorry."

"It's alright. What did you need, Shera?"

"I was just wondering if you'd like some cake. I bought mix, because it was on sale…"

"_I_ want cake."

"Alright, Captain. I'll get right on it. Cid, I mean."

"Vince?"

"Hm?"

"T'morra."

"Yes."

"What the hell…never mind."

"You'll be just fine. Stop thinking about it now, Chief."

"M'kay. What kinda cake is it, ya think?"

"I don't know. Would you like to go down and see?"

"Yeah. S'go pester Shera."

"That's not…whatever."

Heh. "Y're talkin' like a teenager."

"So?"

"Heh."

He's good at cheerin' me up, ain't 'e? Wish I was half as good fer him…well, I will be, once 'e lets me use m'full repertoire o' cheerin' up techniques…

"You're smiling, Chief. Is something funny?"

"Just you."

"Mm."

"Shera! The hell kinda cake is that?"

"I figured chocolate would be safe." She says, jerkin' 'er head at Vince.

"There was no need-"

"Well I had to make_ someone_ happy. I don't like cake, and he," she jerks 'er head at me, "would have complained no matter what I made. So I thought I could at least cater to your tastes, hm?"

M'I the only one tryin'a figure out what the hell she's talkin' about? Oh well. She ain't talkin'a me. Don't matter.

"Thank you." Huh. He understood it.

"Hey, how many eggs ya gonna put _in _that?"

"Two, like it says to on the box."

"That looks like a lotta oil."

"Vincent…"

"Hm. Come on Chief, leave Shera alone."

"But I'm havin' fun an' I'm distracted an' shit, like y'said t'be. See, s'Vincent's fault this time. Hah."

"Nope. Not working, Cid." She keeps stirrin' that batter…

"But-"

"Chief-"

Ooh, she's done mixin' it. "Hey, c'n I lick the beaters?"

"You should give Vincent one."

"Tch. He ain't givin' me nothin'. Ain't givin' him nothin'."

"I did _not_ need to know the details, thank you."

"Just keep in mind, Cid, that I can hold out much longer than you can."

"Aw, like I wasn't gonna give it to ya anyway. Silly."

"Silly?"

"M'tryin'a teach m'self t'not be an ass. It ain't gonna last, but I c'n try."

"Good luck with that…you two enjoy watching the cake. I'm going to take a shower."

"_I _didn't needa know _that_ detail."

"Do unto others, Chief," he says, holdin' up the beater an' pointin' it at me.

"Shut the fuck up, Vince."

"You've already failed."

"…Shit. Oh well. 'Least I tried."

"Hm."

God, that's hot, watchin' 'im lick the cake batter off the beater…an' damned if 'e ain't doin' it like that on purpose, an' watchin' me with them eyes…oh, _fuck_, m'I gonna be in fer a ride when 'e finally snaps…

Oh, yeah, I have one o' them t'use against him too, huh? Well, here goes.

Shit.

"Alright there, Chief?"

"S'i' look like'm'kay?" Damn tongue…stupid fuckin' cake beater thing… "y'gon'elp me?"

"Hm." He walks over –shit, this hurts now- an' just looks. He shakes 'is head. "Only you could do this."

"S'yer fault." I try t'glare at 'im again, but that usually don't work too well. Don't imagine I'm too threatenin' with ma tongue stuck in this thing, either… "Ahhole.""

He's enjoyin' this _way_ too much. "Visse." Not even close…stupid not bein' able t'say stuff…s'what I get fer tryin'a show 'im up…

"Hm?"

"Dammitvin!" Comes out all one word, real fast.

"Alright. Hold still." He grabs ma face an' holds the beater with th'other hand. "I'm sure you could have done this yourself, had you tried. Pull."

"Sit!" I pull m'tongue out. "Shit." Damn, that hurts…

"Hurts?"

"Gonna make it better?"

"No, I'm not. You know that very well."

But it hurts…"Uh, Vince?"

He sighs. "What?"

"How long's a cake s'posed'a sit in th'oven?"

"Ah- …where's the box?"

"I dunno. Trash, prob'ly."

"Check it."

I go ta the trash can, hopin' it's on top. "Vince…"

"What?"

"It's in here, but it's all covered in egg an' shit…"

"Surely that doesn't bother you."

"It's disgustin'!"

"You are ridiculous." He comes over an' just grabs the box, drippin' egg shit an' all. "Bake at 325° until…toothpick…approximately twenty-five minutes. Longer on your oven, because apparently it's a few degrees behind, according to Shera."

"Oh. So we gotta stare at a cake fer half an hour?"

"Mm-hm."

"Have fun. I'm goin' outside."

"No you aren't."

"Why the hell not?"

"I'm not sitting in here alone while you go off to your airship and forget about me _and_ the cake _and_ everything you've promised to do tomorrow. If I let you go, you'll stop for lunch, find no reason to come back because working brainwashes you, and you'll go back to work, bypass dinner, and come back at eleven, dirty, tired, and probably sore from some stupid muscle strain you've gotten from moving in a way the body shouldn't be forced to move. So you are not going anywhere."

I blink. "Vince?"

He sighs. "_What_, Highwind?"

"You…don't hit me, 'kay? You uh, sorta sounded like a woman just now. Just sayin'. Ow! Shit, I said _don't_ hit me! Don't you listen t'me?"

"Of course I listen. I never agreed."

"Tch." M'shoulder hurts now, too… "Yeah, but why'd y'hafta go an' hit me?"

"Stop whining."

I stick ma tongue out at 'im.

"Didn't I just save that for you? You should at least attempt to keep it safe. You're being very immature, by the way."

An' now 'e hit me with the beater, too… "You're the one who won't let me go outside. Oh shit, I do sound like a kid, huh? Heh, sorry…"

"Hm."

"How long's it been?"

"What?"

"Whaddaya mean 'what?' What would I be talkin' about? The cake, dammit! How much longer we gotta pretend like we're payin' attention to it?"

He coughs. "I don't know. I didn't actually check the time…I would assume about fifteen minutes. Maybe."

"Real informative, thanks."

"You aren't paying attention, either."

"Tch."

"I suppose it's a good thing I take quick showers. You should both probably leave the kitchen, seeing as you're incapable of doing any good here. I expect it from _you_, Cid, but frankly, Vincent, I'm disappointed."

"Hey, don't say shit like that to 'im! He'll take ya seriously an' get all sad an' 'I coulda done better. I fail' an' shit. So none o' that, 'cause it's one thing when 'e's mopin' about the past, but I don't want 'im addin' nothin' t'that list o' his."

"He has a list?"

"Dammit woman, y'know what I mean! Just don't say shit like that!"

"Really, Chief, I knew she was kidding-"

"It ain't somethin' t'fuck around with, with you! Y'already feel bad about enough shit that ain't yer fault, an' I don't want nobody even suggestin' that y'oughta feel bad about anythin' else."

"You're telling me that if I continue to stay here, you will never once place any blame on me, even in jest? I find that hard to believe."

Shit, how'm I gonna get outta this one…? "I didn't say it wasn't gonna happen. I just said I don't wanna do it. An' if I do, y'shouldn't take it seriously."

"Hm."

"I hope I can find someone one day I can talk with like that, you know? You guys are so lucky. Perfect." She sighs, like some chick in a romantic comedy talkin' about 'er boyfriend or dream guy or some shit.

Ain't nothin' perfect about either of us. I ain't gonna get all starry-eyed an' shit an' say Vince is perfect, 'cause 'e ain't. An' I won't ever lie about that to 'im, 'cause it ain't fair. An' I know I'm not perfect.

But maybe she's onta somethin'. Nah, s'just me watchin' too much TV.

"I'm sorry, Shera."

"Dammit, don't apologize. Ain't nothin' yer fault." I oughta be used to it by now. I really should. But I still don't like t'hear it. I don't ever wanna hear it.

The fuck is that beep? S'annoyin' me.

"Oh, cake's done!"

"…you had the damn thing on a timer?"

"Of course. I didn't tell you? Oh…that's why the box is out of the trash, is it? Explains a lot."

"Yeah."

She claps 'er hands. "Let's have a picnic!"

"No." …what's he got t''no' about?

"Why not?"

"I don't…want to."

"S'a good enough reason f'r me. Why do we hafta do anything dif'rent t'day, anyhow?"

"Some of us like a little diversity in life, that's all. Right, Vincent?"

"I'm a fan of routine, strictly speaking."

"Oh."

"An' that, Shera, is 'zackly why we get along so well."

"There are plenty of other reasons." He almost sounds offended. Almost. Guess 'e knows I'm playin'. Hope so.

"Well, yeah, prob'ly, but we ain't talkin' 'bout that right now."

"Hm."

Well anyhow, I'm bored. Nothin's happenin', Vince won't let me do nothin', Shera wants t'do girly stuff…tch. Great day.

"A'right. M'bored. C'n I please go to work, Vince? I ain't got much done lately, since y'came back. I mean, shit, I'd rather have you back than anything, but I do needa work."

"No."

"Fine…"

Shera's jaw drops. "Did I hear that right?"

"Shut the fuck up…"

"You should stop whining so much. You're beginning to sound like a child again."

"Oh, so y're a pedophile now, too?"

"No. If I were, I would have told you to keep whining, hm?"

"You are so fuckin' creepy." But I do love it, yeah.

"Hm."

"Well if you two are done arguing about Vincent's sexual morality-"

"The hell is that? We don't have none o' that." 'Course, I'm just messin'. Got ma limits, an' all. Sure he has his. Prob'ly more'n mine.

"Please, Cid, don't put those images in my head. Anyway, if you're finished, lunch is finished, though I can't imagine you'd be hungry again."

"M'not. But Vince prob'ly is."

"What makes you say that?"

"Y'didn't have much of an appetite earlier, an' y'were tired an' all, too, so y're prob'ly 'bout ready t'eat, huh?"

"Hm. Observant."

Heh. I impressed 'im. Whaddaya know?

"So eat. I'll watch."

"I'm the creepy one?"

"Heh."

He eats. A lot.

"Didn't know y'could eat that much."

"Neither did I. I suppose I'm eating for two."

Shera spits out tea. "Please explain that to me."

He coughs. Guess 'e didn't think how it was gonna be taken…was a pretty funny idea, though.

"The Galian Beast normally…feeds…every chance he gets. However, since the…_change_, he hasn't been allowed to eat- he kills, you see, to eat, and I don't like to…he lives now only because I keep myself sustained. It would seem that he has entered a new level of dependence upon me. He tolerates and honors my emotional preferences, and now is content to share what I've eaten…I wonder, though, if there are new physical developments, as well. This morning, for instance…he tried to share his strength without forcing his physical form on me. I wonder if it has been lost. I had more control than he did, when I last shifted. It worries me a bit, that I could now theoretically lose control at any second…I have no idea what is the cause or what will be the effects of these changes."

"Dammit, Shera, y'made 'im think again! M'tryin'a break 'im o' that!"

"You like it when I think. Don't lie."

"Heh, yeah, I guess one of us hasta do it."

"But…I thought the demons were gone."

"I thought so as well, at first. The others…seem to be, but the one remains with me…closer than ever, it appears." He sounds bitter. Don't want 'im t'have to.

"Hey, s'alright, baby." Too bad I dunno what else t'say…

"I know, Chief. Thank you." I even get a hand squeeze t'go with it.

Fuck, I just want 'im so _bad!_ I know it's only one more day, 'r so 'e says, but I want 'im _now._ Just wanna be able t'hold 'im however I want, whenever I want, whenever he wants. An' I can't, so long as…but…

"Are you alright, Cap- Cid?"

"M'fine. Tryin'a figure out what t'do with ma day, s'all."

"Mroe?" Huh. Cat.

"Was wond'rin' what happened t'you."

"Maw."

"That so?"

"Are you having a conversation with a cat?"

"She talks nicer'n some folks, y'know. Heh." She's rubbin' against m'ankle. "Hungry?"

"Do you want me to leave her here?"

"She's yers. 'Sides, I don't need a cat. I got a…Vince."

"Do not start comparing me to animals."

"I ain't!"

"Hm. That was what it sounded like to me."

"Well, I ain't. We c'n get a pet, if that makes ya feel better. Damn, what the _hell_''re we gonna do with this whole place to ourselves?"

"We'll start with the renovation you've been talking about for years."

"I could never make him do it."

"You simply weren't using the proper methods."

"Is that so? I suppose they're the kind of methods that would have had no effect coming from me in the first place?"

"That is…likely."

"Tch."

"Hey! M'fin'ly rubbin' off on ya, Shera! Y'have a souvenir t'take with ya!"

"That and my recording of the "Vampy Valentine" song."

"…ya don't."

"I do."

"Y'said y'destroyed it. Y'also said y'wouldn't bring it up…y'know…in front o' him. In front o' other people, actually, I think th'agreement was."

"Well, you started it."

Vince is just watchin' with 'is eyes all tryin' not t'look laughy. It ain't really workin'.

"Would you like to hear a few verses, Vincent?"

"There's more than one verse?"

"Oh, I'm fairly sure it goes on for as long as he can make up words. It's all really quite entertaining."

"Hm. When did this little creation occur, Cid? Why have I not heard the song?"

"'Cause I ain't dumb enough t'do that. Y'd kick me halfway inta next week. Which is what I'm gonna do t'Shera if she don't hand over the tape."

"What makes you think I didn't make copies? I could sell them as blackmail, you know."

"Hate you so much."

"I know. I decided it was time to earn it."

Well, shit. Way t'make me feel like an ass. Again.

"Besides, any 'handing over' of the tape will be directly to me."

"I agree. I'll go get it." She gets up.

"No!" I think…I just _shrieked_. Shit.

"Relax, Cid, I don't really have it. Actually, I never even had a tape recorder when I told you I did. I do remember the words, though, as I'm sure you do. The tune was his own invention, I'm afraid. Which means it is horribly off-key and random. I believe it changed with every verse."

"Hah."

"No, Vince, it's 'heh.' Like that. Try again."

"Hm."

"Yeah, that suits ya better anyway." Really wouldn't have 'im any other way, even though I complain about some things. Don't really want 'im t'ever change any. 'Cept 'e could open up a little more, an' quit bein' so…

"So how does this song go? Won't you tell me, Chief?"

"No, dammit…the hell're ya doin'? Oh…heh, hey there, Vince!" Yeah, he c'n pull me onta his lap all 'e wants. Ain't tellin' 'im nothin'. "What about honorin' shit?"

"Friends do this. It's acceptable."

"Y're makin' excuses. That's fuckin' 'ilarious."

"I'm not- Shera?"

"No comment. But there's no reason to hold back. I have no leftover hopes…he's _your_ lost cause now. Have fun."

"Hm." Shit, that's the most…I dunno, fond, I guess…look I've ever seen on 'im…an' it's fer me. Me, dammit. What the hell did I do to earn that? "I've always held a bit of a soft spot for the hopeless."

"Hey now-"

"Hush. You know…"

"Yeah, I know. I"- no, can't say it yet.

"Hm." He picks 'is hand up an' brings it t'ma face, fer just a second, but lets it drop b'fore it touches.

I wonder…

"Highwind…what are you doing?"

"Gettin' comf'table."

"Don't you have _two _bedrooms you could use, instead of the kitchen?"

"Aw, we ain't doin' nothin'!"

"You're straddling him. It will go from 'nothing' to something rather quickly, I think."

"No it won't. He won't do nothin' no matter how much ya tell 'im 'e can."

"Then you should probably give him breathing space."

"I like bein' here, thanks. Vince, y'c'n breathe, right?"

"You should show more respect in front of other people."

"Shera ain't 'other people'! She's seen so much o' me ain't nothin' left t'shock 'er."

"It's…quite true, Vincent."

"That is…quite beside the point."

"You're the one holdin' me here now."

He coughs an' lets go o' ma hips.

"Plus you started it."

He coughs again. Shera starts laughin'.

"Get off me."

"Fine." At least he forgot about the stupid song.

"So anyway, now that that's settled, and Vincent's eaten…how about the three of us have a round or two of drinks, hm?"

"No." Heh, we said it at the same time. Whaddaya know?

"Why not?"

"Go 'head, Vince. Why not?"

"Er- you have things to do tomorrow. Important things."

"And?"

"That's all." He says so quick I c'n tell there's somethin' else, but maybe it ain't somethin' I oughta push? "And what about you, Chief?"

"Well…I laugh more often an' twice as loud, but after that I get kinda…cuddly, I guess, an' it don't take me long t'get there, an' I figure if I come onto ya while I'm out…well, y'might end up bein' like th's'mornin', an' I don't want ya goin' through that any more'n y'hafta."

"Hm. I appreciate that."

"And what about you, Vincent?"

"Hm."

"C'mon, Vince, spill!"

"I'd rather not."

"Eh, suit yerself. But we c'n have the cake."

"Right. I iced it while Vincent was eating."

"Good. So let's eat."

"I can't eat any more just now, sorry Shera."

"Yeah, well, I'm bored." Shouldn't be a reason t'eat, should it?

"Then have some cake. I'm just not eating any."

"Don't wanna if you ain't gonna."

Shera blinks. "You've got him thoroughly _whipped_. How the _hell_ did you manage it?"

"Hm. I wish I knew. I would have put it into effect much earlier."

Heh. Well, that's a compliment, alright…

…m'I really worth that much? Even just t'him? Damn. Makes a man feel real good. Real good.

Shit…

"Come on, Chief. Grab a piece and join me on the couch, hm?"

He thinks he's a monster. I don't think he's even close, but I can't do nothin' t'change 'is mind. But even if he's right, even if he is a monster somehow, there's a man in there, too. An' I think…I think that man b'longs t'me, an'm damn proud of it.

Yeah, I'll call 'im mine, monster an' all. 'Cause the man is worth dealin' with the monster.

* * *

Aw sappy endings in this chapter, too...I promise, promise, promise that next chapter will not be this idiotic. This one just tried to kill me a little.

Oh, and don't even try to tell me it's impossible to get one's tongue stuck in a beater. First hand experience here, though of course I was able to get myself unstuck. Cid ould have, too, but who'd want to in his situation, hm?

Reviews? Thanks for reading.

-Pfenix


	15. The Man in the Mirror

The "Hansel and Gretel" part has drawn to a close, as has the rest of Vincent's telling of the story, maybe. I'll finish out the fic, of course, and I may let him tell some more, but the only parts I still really want to cover are the post-game, pre-AC, post-AC, pre-Dirge, and post-Dirge years/days, because Cid was there for the rest, and it must be boring to read through it…

The point is, thank you for reading, and all comparisons to the fairy tale are probably done. Probably. Oh, and short chapter. Sorry for the wait.

Oh, and thanks for breaking 2,000 hits! It's a small number, yes, but high for me.  
Thanks to **procrazedfan** and** Eternal Requiem**, my anon reviewers, and special thanks to my recurring reviewers, **BMIK** and **Chibi Koun**, who are both fabulous writers whose work you should go read now.

By the way, this chapter has absolutely no point.

* * *

The man in the monster is mine, and the man in the mirror, well, he's a selfish old bastard, that's fer sure. An' right now he's a little restless, an' nervous as hell, 'cause…well, 'cause a new question done come up, an' it's drivin' me nuts.

Am I just usin' 'im? Damn, I don't even know anymore! An' if I am, I ain't gonna be able t'live with m'self, 'specially f'e's willin' t'just take it, like she…

No. No, I feel a hell of lot more fer him. Ain't even worth comparin' 'em.

Hey, if I didn't even know, if I even hadda consider it, he obviously can't know. An' damn it, if he don't know…then is 'e just takin' it? 'Cause he shouldn't hafta…he don't deserve t'be strung along, an' he shouldn't be allowin' 'imself t'be. If 'e is, does that make 'im any better'n her? No, damn it, he's way better'n that. He wouldn't just take shit, he _wouldn't._

But…he did, from her. He woulda done anythin' fer her, 'cause he was that deep in.

Or maybe…maybe he don't care f'e's bein' used? Maybe…

Shit, this is all too much t'think about. Givin' me a headache just scratchin' the surface.

"Cid?"

"Huh? Oh, m'alright. Jus' thinkin'."

"I thought we agreed to leave that to me."

"Yeah, well, it was important. Don't get used to it. Hurts ma head."

"Hm. Have a seat," he says, pattin' the cushion next to 'im.

"Yeah, alright. We watchin' somethin'?"

"You don't own any movies."

"Nah. Maybe somethin's on, though. Lessee." I grab the remote an' turn on the TV. "Oh boy, static."

"Try changing the channel."

"Y'think I don't know how t'work the damn set? Was just sayin' 'it's static.'"

"It doesn't appear to be working at all. Did you break it?" He frowns at me, like he might really be disappointed.

"Nah. Don't think so, anyway…somebody musta. Well, y'c'n tell me some more, since we're bored."

"Not right now."

"No?"

"I think you have something to say, and you're using my story as an excuse to stop thinking about it."

"Quit bein' so damn perceptive."

"It's not my fault if your worrying causes me to worry."

Dammit…how's 'e notice this crap. "It's just…"

"Just what?"

"I'm tryin'a eat ma cake, dammit. Lemme be."

"Cid."

Shit. Guess I might as well just say it, 'cause he wouldn't'a asked unless 'e already knew, an' not talkin's just gonna make 'im mad, prob'ly…"S'just…I ain't just usin' ya, y'know?"

"Of course I know."

"How th'hell couldja? Even I didn't, not 'til a few minutes ago."

"Stop lying."

"Huh?"

"You've known for a long time, or I wouldn't be here. Listen to me. It is not acceptable for you to drown in self-pity over this split. You have no right."

"Wha-?"

"That is what you are doing. It's the only reason you're questioning your…feelings for…me."

"How'd'ya figure that?"

"You are not terribly complicated, Chief. 'I mean it in the best way possible.' Next time, try telling me something I don't know, hm? Makes for more interesting conversation."

"Yeah, alright. But y're settin' yerself up fer shit, y'know that?"

"I can take it." When'd he start gettin' so happy all the time? S'really weird. Not t'say I don't like it, but…gonna take some gettin' used to.

"Yeah, guess ya can. Hey?"

"Hm?"

"Wasn't too long ago y'were tellin' me how there's more t'me than what's obvious, an' now y're sayin' I ain't complicated. So does that mean I look really, really dumb?"

"It simply means that I am very, very intelligent."

"Well that don't answer ma question." An' there's that vain streak again.

"Hm."

Damn, there's still nothin' on TV…still early, too. Gonna be a long fuckin' day. "Vince? M'bored as shit."

"I fail to see how that is my problem. Besides, I thought the cake was meant to ease your boredom?"

"Ain't really workin'. Ain't too good, really. I mean, chocolate's good an' all, but…s'possible t'overdo it. What? Don't look all scandalized at me if y'want me t'keep ma hands off ya. An' quit coughin' like that. We all know what it means."

"Cid, stop whining at him. You're giving me a headache."

"Then go shoppin' or somethin'."

"What will you do when I'm not here to shop for you?"

"Buy the shit I want instead o' whatever the hell you feel like pickin' up."

"And you expect Vincent to just go along with whatever you say?"

He will, I bet. "F'e wants a say, he c'n come with me."

"So you're actually going to the store yourself, then?"

"Yeah." Somethin' wrong with that? Oh, I get it. She thinks I'm gonna send him. Nah. He'd make me eat all healthy an' shit. That ain't no good fer somebody like me.

"Hm." Dammit, they both did it at the same time…

"What, y'all don't have no faith in the Captain? I'll show ya. Both o' ya."

"Sure thing, Chief."

"You'll call me when he asks you to go for him, right Vincent?"

"Of course."

"You guys friggin' suck."

They both laugh. I keep on eatin' cake.

Shera gets up an' leaves, somethin' about somethin' or other, I dunno.

Hold on. I just remembered somethin'. "Vince?"

"Hm?"

"Y'said y'fooled around w'her even after she was married. Why not me?"

He hangs 'is head. "I was hoping you wouldn't remember that."

"What, so ya really do think I'm stupid?"

"I did not say that."

"Well, what are ya sayin'? That y'lied? Or left somethin' out? Or just flat out tricked me?"

"I'm sorry, Chief."

He's lookin' at me like I'm nuts now, 'cause I'm smilin'. "S'alright, Vin."

"I fail to see anything amusing."

"Well, dontcha see? If lyin' an' shit ain't human, I dunno what is, so y'can't mope about bein' a monster anymore. Got it?"

"Hm."

"An' now on t'more serious shit- why the hell are ya puttin' this off?"

"I am…afraid to hurt you."

"Huh?"

"I am very unsure about the Galian Beast. I have no idea what he is doing, or what will become of me. The fact is…I have been with no one since…the demons. You know that. The point is…I have no idea how I will react."

"Well, there's only one way t'find out, dumbass. Ah, shit, I'm sorry."

"I knew it wasn't an insult."

"I know. But y'know how y're scared o' hurtin' me? Yeah, I'm scared o' that sometimes too. Ah, shit, that ain't what I meant t'say. You ain't gonna hurt me. What I meant was, I'm scared I'll hurt you, y'know? I know y'ain't as delicate as ever'one makes y'out t'be, but…dammit, sometimes I just wanna treat ya like y'are."

"I am not made of glass."

"Yeah, an' neither'm I."

"I know."

"So quit actin' like it. But I guess if y'really want me t'wait 'til t'morra, I'll wait. Can't promise I'm gonna quit buggin' ya, though."

"Hm."

"An' y'know what? M'gonna quit bein' nervous about it. 'Cause it ain't nothin' but people, n'I c'n handle that. Just gonna look forward t'what comes after. You, o' course, on top o' the list, an' then there's bein' able t'walk around naked without Shera yellin', an' not havin' t'hear 'er hummin' fuckin' 'Beauty an' the Beast' under 'er breath. Y'know she only started that after you stayed here that one time?"

"Is that so?"

I sigh. Deep an' all that shit. An' what's he do? Rolls 'is eyes an' moves hair out of 'is face.

"Tch."

"What?"

"Nothin'."

"Hm."

"The hell's wrong with me, anyway?"

"You're impatient."

"An' whose fault y'think that is?"

"Only yours. Haven't we covered this?"

"Tch. So why the hell won't y'just go ahead, huh? Don'look a'me like that. Toldja I wasn't gonna quit buggin' y'about it."

"You should."

"Don't wanna. Ain't had no action since…well, in like a long time. An' s'been longer fer you, huh? I mean, y'gotta be, y'know, wantin' some o' this, yeah? Heh, don't roll yer eyes. I know how hot I am."

He shakes 'is head, but 'e's smilin'.

"Yeah, s'right. Deny it. I c'n see right through ya."

"Hm."

I really ain't gettin' anywhere, am I? Shit…an' it ain't like s'really hurtin' me t'hold out another day, but I'm still gonna bitch about it. Why? I wanna. Feels good t'complain. An' who knows, maybe I'll wear 'im down.

"So really, why not? Don't gimme that crap about hurtin' me, 'cause it's either now or later when y'find out what happens, y'know? Ain't no excuse."

"You sound like a broken record. An annoying one that should be thrown out, at that."

"Tch. So do you. 'Hm.' S'all ya say, y'know?"

"Hm."

"See?"

"Cid."

"Wha---at?"

He touches ma face again, like 'e does ev'ry now an' then. He's lookin' at me all over, like he thinks somethin's gonna be diff'rent now from last time 'e saw me two seconds ago. "Will you stop begging for a while if I kiss you?"

Oh? M'gettin' somethin'? Heh. S'good enough fer now, I guess. Oh, but he asked a question…what was that? Oh, right. Wants t'know f'I'm gonna shut up or not. Well, he wants me t'say yes, but…he'd be able t'tell I was lyin', so 'e'd just get pissed an' change 'is mind, but if I say no, he'll just shake 'is head at me or somethin'.

"Uh…no?"

"Hm. Good answer. I expected you to lie."

See? "Well?"

He sighs, like this is takin' _so much_ effort. He leans in an'

Oh, shit he's really doin' it…but 'e won't fuckin' open 'is mouth! "Dammit, Vin! Open up!" Ah, shit, that kinda broke it. After a whole two seconds…

He shakes 'is head an' gives this evil-ass smile, like he planned the whole time t'just tease me. Schemin' bastard, prob'ly did.

"Why not?"

"You're whining again. That's very annoying."

"Y'r'annoyin' too, y'know."

"Perhaps I am, but I don't whine like a child."

"Tch. Y'know, that was over way too quick. Think I need another one."

"Hm. I'll consider it."

"Maybe I'll just steal one."

"You have too much respect for me."

"Eh, yeah, guess so. M'still bored, though."

"We could go for a walk."

"Thought I couldn't go outside."

"It's alright as long as you don't stay with your ships until two a.m."

"Eh. Where we gonna go?"

"Where the rocket was."

"Why?"

"To discuss dreams."

"Pfft. Sissy stuff."

"Hm. Leave a note for Shera. She may wonder where we've gone."

"She ain't still here?"

"She left a few minutes ago."

"Yeah, but she's still in the house, ain't she?"

"I don't believe she is."

"Eh, well, gimme a second then."

Where the hell's she keep the paper an' shit? Not in that drawer…oh, shit, I don't know where anything is in m'own house! Oughta be fun tryin'a sort it after she's gone…damn. Ah, there it is…but that's just paper. Where's the pens?

"Vince? Y'know where she keeps the shit t'write with?"

"There's a pen on the table."

"Don't work. I put it there yest'y."

"Try the drawer on the left, under the towels."

"Oh, yeah, there's…why the hell d'ya know that? Even better, who keeps pens under towels? Seems like a bad idea t'me."

"Where else would they be?"

"Maybe with th'paper'd be a good place, dontcha think?"

"Oh. Yes, I suppose it would be."

"Yeah. Hey, what should I write?"

"I'll do it. Your writing is nearly illegible."

"Hey, she's been readin' it fer years. She understands it."

"Mine is much nicer. Give me the pen."

"Tch." What the hell, man? I c'n write just as good as anybody else…okay, maybe not him. Damn, that's…kinda girly. "Vince, y'write like a girl."

"I do not."

"Mm-hm. What's with the giant letters'n'the swirlies, then?"

"…At least it's neat."

"Heh. C'mon, let's go."

"Yes."

"Hey."

"Hm?"

"Gonna let me hold yer hand?"

He sighs again an' looks at me like a librarian looks at the noisy kid.

"What?"

"I'm trying to decide what you want."

"Whaddaya mean?"

"I can't tell if you want the attention, the affection, or the assurance."

"…Can't I have 'em all?"

"In time. The assurance is yours, you'll have to live with only my attention, because I don't want everyone else's, and you'll have to work for the affection."

"Think I've worked pretty damn hard already, thank ya."

"That may be so, but your attitude needs some improvement."

"Hey, y're bein' a woman again."

"Excuse me?"

"Yeah. I mean, s'what y're drawn to, right? My attitude. Y'even used t'wish you had it. An' now y're tryin'a change it. S'just like a woman." **(1)**

"I don't want to change you."

"Then don't make me work t'be somethin' I ain't."

"I was only going to teach you to harbor a romantic side."

"Yeah? Whaddayou know about that?"

"Wha-"

"Ah, shit, came out bad again. All I mean is, y'been through so much bloodshed an' shit, y'can't possibly still have a soft side left."

"What happened to the man who, not twenty minutes ago, wanted to treat me as something delicate?"

"Oh, I get it. Y're sayin' y'wouldn't mind that ev'ry now an' then? Heh, why dincha just say that? I c'n do that."

"That isn't what I said, Highwind."

"Heh. M'gonna do it anyway. Well, here we are. Why're we here again?"

"I want to take you to the stars, Chief."

"Heh. T'morra, 'member?"

"That is not what I mean. I believe I could physically take you there. I…may not be allowed to return, but you could see them again the way you want to."

"The hell're you talkin' about?"

"Do you know how the story of Hansel and Gretel ends?"

"The kids' old man finds 'em in the woods, don't 'e? An' brings 'em home?"

"Yes. Hansel was…_I_ was a fool. You brought me home once, long ago now, it seems. I wandered again, and this time even you could not reach me. I could see you from where I was…why do you think I came back? I believe I said I was only allowed back because I had a purpose."

"Can't just be t'be wi'me. I ain't worth that."

"I think you are. I believe you are right, though, that there is something else. Perhaps it was simply to come clean about my relation to Sephiroth, or perhaps something I have not yet discovered. However…I could return to where I was at any time. I can feel it calling me, the Lifestream. It gets stronger when the Galian Beast takes over. That is why I am afraid. I think it is calling only for the Beast, and I believe he can be taken without me, but if I am in his form, I may not return. I could choose to go back, as I said. I could take you there, for a moment. You would be safe, and you would return to the way you were."

"Hey. This is some morbid shit, an' I don't want you worryin' yerself about it. You just keep yerself from turnin' inta the demon 'til 'e's gone, an' I'll take care of ya. S'why y're tired, right? S'drainin' ya."

"Yes."

"Well, you coulda just said that the whole time. I woulda left y'alone. Well, not alone, but, y'know, woulda quit buggin' ya."

"Hm."

"An' don't even think about goin' back there. Not fer any reason' Y're stayin' here wi'me, y'asshole."

"I-"

"It calls y'again, you hang onta me. Alright? Keep ya rooted down."

"Hm."

"An' hey, Vince?"

"Hm?"

"F'I brought ya home once, an' yer girl brought ya back t'me after y'were a dumbass an' left again, I think y're outta favors from up there."

"I believe you are correct."

"Well then, y'better stay wi'me fer good, huh?"

He closes 'is eyes. Hope I didn't say somethin' dumb again…well, he's smilin', at any rate.

"Hey, you okay? "

"I'm fine."

"Y'don't look so good."

"I'm very tired, Chief."

"Well then why didn't ya say so? Never woulda let y'leave the house. I don't see what point there was in comin' out here, anyway. Y'were just bein' an idiot an' all that. Hey, want me t'carry ya? Don't I owe ya that?"

He kinda chuckles. "I don't know if you do. I'll be just fine."

We walk back t'the house, quiet. I let 'im lean on me as we go upstairs. Hate that he needs that. So strong all the time…well, I guess at least it means 'e feels safe enough t'be weak w'me. That's somethin', I guess. Or maybe 'e can't help it. Naw, don't go there. He's prob'ly been tired like this fer years, an's just now lettin' it show. Yeah, that's it.

"I need to lie down for a while."

"Lemme lay with ya?"

"I- be careful."

"Yeah, I will. Just wanna hold ya. Didn't wake 'im up b'fore."

"It's different now."

"How?"

"It just is, Cid." He lays back.

I just wanna look fer a while.

"Are you joining me?"

Heh. "Yeah." I get on there next to 'im, an' he's so _Vince_ that I can't help m'self. Gotta touch 'im now that I know s'okay.

I run a hand all the way down 'im, from 'is face to 'is knee, an' 'e looks all aggravated at me. All I gotta do is smile, though, an' he smiles back an' just whispers fer me t'be careful again.

"Hey."

"Hm?"

"Thanks, an' all."

"For…what?"

"I dunno. Fer bein' here, I guess. Thinkin' of me. Not carin' that I'm an ass."

"I am capable of overlooking things when what is past them is worth it."

"Y're still damn confusin', y'know. Hey, Vince?"

"Hm?"

"Eh, nothin'. Go t'sleep, baby. Long day t'morra, an' y'said y'wanna be with me for it."

"Yes. Will you be all right today?"

"Me? I'll be fine. Don't worry 'bout me. You just get some rest. Maybe if y'get good sleep, he'll leave y'alone an' we c'n, y'know, move on."

"Hm. Trying to be subtle is not compatible with such a lewd grin, Chief."

"Heh."

Well, I dunno, maybe I ain't so selfish after all. I care about 'im, right? An' not just 'cause o' what 'e does fer me. Yeah, we're gonna be all right. Just gotta get past the rest o' the world…

* * *

Heh, sorry I've been taking so long…you know how you always hear those "don't start more than one multi-chapter at a time" warnings? Yeah, I did that. And the new one's so much more fun to work on! I'm not posting it here, but it's on LJ, if anyone's interested…I may put the link up at some point.

Thanks for waiting,  
-Phoenix


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